Someone asked me, "Mr. Chen, I heard that you are a genius in planning, do you have a way to make my dog an Internet celebrity dog?" ”
1. Divine dog. There is a rich man Yu who is madly infatuated with his dog.
His dog followed him to enjoy the wealth and prosperity of the world, and the rich man felt that it was not enough, and he wanted his dog to enjoy the respect of the world.
So he said to the world, His dog is able to preach, the way of the way, the word of God.
People didn't believe it, and they couldn't resist their curiosity, so they came to watch the fun.
The rich man set up a table, dressed his dog in red and hung colors, and pulled him to the main seat on the stage.
The rich man half knelt in front of his dog and caressed the dog's head.
Everyone was surprised to see that the rich man actually knelt down to worship a dog like this, and at the same time, they inevitably muttered in their hearts, "Is this dog really unusual?" ”
The crowd who were in the mood of watching the excitement gradually quieted down.
Seeing that everyone was quiet, the rich man said to the dog, "My most honorable friend, my angel, you see that friend in the audience, is waiting for your teaching. ”
The dog barked at the listeners.
Everyone was stunned, you look at me, I look at you, and they don't understand: isn't this exactly the same as the barking of other dogs?
As soon as everyone began, the rich man applauded.
The rich man's minions also applauded.
Several heavyweight friends invited by the rich man, some out of politeness, and some were responsible for the rich man's appearance fee, all applauded.
The rich man's heavyweight friends are Zhou Lao Taoist, Li Da Monk, Chen Da Xiucai, and Luo Lao County Magistrate, who returned to his hometown.
After the old Taoist priest Zhou applauded, the people who believed in the old Taoist priest also applauded, and they wanted to give the old Taoist priest Zhou face.
After Monk Li applauded, the people who believed in Monk Li also applauded, and they wanted to give Monk Li face.
Chen Daxiucai applauded, and the people who believed in Chen Daxiucai also applauded, and they wanted to give Chen Daxiucai face.
The old county magistrate Luo applauded, and the people who believed in the old county magistrate also applauded, and they wanted to give face to the old county magistrate.
Half of the audience, who did not believe in the rich man, nor the rich man's dog, nor did they believe in the old Taoist priest Zhou, the great monk Li, the old county magistrate Chen Daxiucai, and the old county magistrate Luo, saw that most of them applauded, and muttered in their hearts again.
Could it be that this dog really said the secret of heaven? So many people applauded, saying that they all understood, if I didn't understand, wouldn't I be too stupid? Those who thought this way also applauded.
So many people applauded, could this dog really be a divine dog? If I don't applaud, will I offend this divine dog, it really bites me, won't I be finished? Forget it, I'd rather believe it and make a show, than offend this dog, what if he is really a god dog? Those who thought this way also applauded.
Among the many listeners, there was a fool who saw the rich man bowing down to a dog, and he snickered in the audience; When he saw the dog barking a few times on the stage, and everyone in the audience applauded wildly, he couldn't help but applaud and laugh, "Haha, haha!" ”
The rich man noticed the fool and became excited, "You see, even the fool understands, and he is applauding!" ”
2. Guests. The rich man raised a sacred dog, and the divine dog could preach, and the news spread all over the country.
People kept coming, asking to hear the dogs preach.
The rich man was surprised, "Is my dog really a divine dog?" He puffed a few times, and the special guests on the stage and the hundreds of spectators in the audience applauded. ”
Now there are so many people who have rushed to listen to his preaching, and his charisma is too strong! ”
No wonder I love this dog so much, no wonder I'm willing to do whatever it takes to break up for him, he may not be easy! ”
The rich man felt that he must not neglect his divine dog.
He spent more money to build a more luxurious stage for this dog, held a second special lecture on the divine dog, and invited more heavyweight guests: Zhou Lao Tianshi, Li Da Abbot, Chen Da Jinshi, Luo Lao Thorn Shi.
This time, there were thousands of people.
Chen Dajinshi is a pedant, he came with curiosity, and he also came with a ** mind.
After listening to this dog's special session, he was sure that it was an ordinary dog.
However, after the divine dog preached, the rich man arranged for Abbot Li and Zhou Lao Tianshi, Chen Dajinshi, and Luo Lao Thorn Shi to give speeches.
Abbot Li said, "The Buddha said that all living beings are equal, as long as they are kind and devout to the Buddha, even dogs can communicate with the gods, let alone people?" ”
Old Master Zhou said, "The deeds of dogs becoming gods are common in the eyes of our cultivators. For example, Erlang God's roaring dog, that's a divine dog. ”
Luo Lao said, "Whether this dog is a divine dog or not, I don't know." However, this kind of big scene of one person speaking, thousands of people listening to the audience, and then thunderous applause, ...... when I was still assassinating history.
After listening to the testimonials of the first three special guests, Chen Dajinshi looked at the thousands of spectators in the stands, was silent for a while, and finally came up with a sentence that made the audience scratch their heads, "In the future, will you still eat dog meat?" ”
Applause, crazy applause.
It's just that some people know why they applaud, and some people don't even know themselves.
3, Emperor. The rich man raised a divine dog, the divine dog could preach, the special session of the divine dog preaching was full, the applause was thunderous, and the world was sensational, and this matter spread more and more to God, and spread farther and farther, and finally reached the emperor.
The emperor wants to summon the rich man and the sacred dog into the palace.
The rich man is excited!
This divine dog, sure enough, has brought good luck to himself, and after entering the Beijing Saint, he must be **Houlu, and the glory of the ancestors!
The god dog is also excited, every time after seeing the big scene, there will be delicacies from the mountains and seas, and the most important thing is that there are endless bones.
Chen Dajin was shocked into a cold sweat.
Luo Lao Thorn Shi was also shocked into a cold sweat.
Old Master Zhou was also shocked into a cold sweat.
Old Abbot Li was also shocked into a cold sweat.
They just go through the motions, earn some appearance fees, mix up a circle of friends, and act on the spot.
Whether this dog is a divine dog or not, they know better than anyone else.
If the emperor identified the dog as just an ordinary dog, would they, who had once stood for the "divine dog", be convicted of defrauding the king?
It doesn't matter if you deceive the world and steal your name and fool the people, if you are condemned as a crime of defrauding the king, it will be fatal.
The four of them immediately got together and discussed countermeasures.
Bribe the father-in-law around the emperor with a lot of money to let them cooperate with us? Luo Lao Thorn Shi said.
No, those fathers-in-law are insatiable and the cost is too high. Chen Dajin shook his head.
You ask the bodhisattva of your house? Old Heavenly Master Zhou looked at Old Abbot Li expectantly.
My Bodhisattva works, do I still need to rub that dog's traffic and go to his ashram to preach the Dharma? "Life is at stake, and Old Abbot Li doesn't dare to be ambiguous, "What about your family's old man?" ”
Alas, my husband has been out of customs for many years, and he doesn't care about internal affairs in the near future. Old Master Zhou smiled bitterly.
I have an idea that we don't need to spend money or ask people to solve our problems. Chen Dajin muttered.
Say it, say it! The other three urged again and again.
Let's steal the dog and stew it into a pot of dog meat, and the four of us will eat it, and the emperor will never be able to identify whether this dog is a god dog or not. Chen Dajin said with a smile.
Wonderful! That's a great plan! Luo Lao Tingshi applauded, "We are all familiar with that dog, if we get close to him, he won't bark, and then hit a stick on his head and take it directly." ”
You're so brutal. Old Master Zhou smiled and took out a packet of powder, "As long as you rub this thing on your bones and let him bite it twice, he will never scream again." ”
Good, good! I also have a secret recipe for Buddha jumping over the wall, which should be used when stewing dog meat. Old Abbot Li became excited.
4. Paradise. The rich man was shocked to hear that his divine dog had been lost, and all three souls were lost, and he sat down on the ground.
He searched all over the country, offering a reward of **100 taels, but he couldn't find any trace of the divine dog.
In this farce, the rich man is the only one who believes that the dog is a divine dog.
He also hopes that if he is contaminated with the blessing of this divine dog, he can also go to heaven!
Now that he has lost the divine dog, it is equivalent to losing the opportunity of heaven, can he not be sad?
Worse, what did he give an account of to the emperor?
If you can't offer the god dog, it is equivalent to bullying the king, and bullying the king may be all over the house.
Grief-stricken for a whole day, he decided to seek advice from Chen Dajinshi.
When he arrived at Chen Dajinshi's house, he found that Luo Lao Thorn Shi, Li Lao Abbot, and Zhou Lao Tianshi were all there, and he was overjoyed.
Great, a few of you are here, my divine dog is lost, how can I explain this to the emperor? ”
When the four of them suddenly heard that the rich man had come to the door, they were all shocked, thinking that the rich man had known the truth!
They hurriedly cleaned up the scene in the house before opening the door to the rich man.
Seeing that the rich man had come to seek advice, the four of them were relieved.
It's easy! Since your dog is a divine dog, maybe he suddenly wants to go back to heaven to see, and he will go to heaven! Chen Dajin said with a smile.
Yes? "The rich man came to the spirit.
That's right! That's right! Luo Lao Thorn Shi said.
Heavenly Master, you use the Tiangang trick to calculate, where is this divine dog now? Old Abbot Li said matter-of-factly.
Old Master Zhou cleared his throat, closed his eyes, and after reciting words in his mouth, he suddenly roared, "Taishang Laojun is as anxious as a law, edict!" ”
The rich man looked nervously at Old Heavenly Master Zhou.
Great joy, great joy! Old Heavenly Master Zhou suddenly laughed.
The rich man turned his sorrow into joy, and asked with great anticipation, "Where is my divine dog now?" ”
Get what you want, get what you want! Old Master Zhou replied.
What does it mean to get what it deserves? The rich man asked again.
Good, good! To get what is good is what it means. Old Abbot Li explained.
The rich man was even more anxious, "What does that mean good?" ”
The good thing is that he has already gone to heaven! Luo Lao Thorn Shi replied.
Really heavenly? "The rich man was overjoyed.
At this time, he suddenly smelled a fragrance.
The scent is always there.
However, the rich man, who had been thinking about looking for a dog all day and had no appetite, could not smell the fragrance at first.
What do you have to eat here? I haven't eaten all day. ”
Buddha jumping over the wall. You've arrived just in time, and you're left with the last two pieces. Chen Dajin replied with a smile, "It's just that this is what we leftovers, don't you mind?" ”
5. Audience. The rich man reported the matter of the divine dog to heaven to the emperor.
The emperor didn't believe it, so he summoned Luo Lao Thorn Shi, Li Lao Abbot, Zhou Lao Tianshi, and Chen Dajinshi to investigate.
All four insisted that the dog was indeed a divine dog, indeed different, and that if he had gone to heaven, that could not rule out the possibility.
The emperor originally wanted to live forever and cultivate immortals, and instinctively wanted to believe that there were immortals in this world.
Therefore, the emperor also believed that the rich man's dog was a divine dog.
The emperor issued an edict to crown the dog as an invincible general, build a temple for him, set up a spiritual position, and enjoy the incense in the world.
The rich man was even more convinced that his dog was a divine dog.
Seeing that the emperor named this dog as a general, built a temple for this dog, and set up a spiritual position, hundreds of people who had never seen this divine dog believed that this dog was really a divine dog.
Those who had never seen this divine dog felt that they were not blessed or had no chance, and they began to envy those who had heard this divine dog preach.
Thousands of people, wanting to know what the dog was preaching, began to visit those who had heard the dog preach.
Chen Dajinshi, Li Lao Abbot, and Zhou Lao Tianshi all saw the huge business opportunities here.
Chen Dajinshi gave a lecture on success: "Be obedient, do as you say, a dog can become a god, and you can also become a myth!" 》；Subtitle: "The Story I Had to Tell with the Divine Dog".
Old Abbot Li also opened a special session: "How I Sent a Dog to Elysium".
Old Master Zhou also opened a special session: "Divine Calculation, How Do I Calculate Where the Divine Dog Goes".
The special sessions of these three people were all full, the applause was thunderous, and the world was a sensation, and they made a lot of money.
Luo Lao Thorn knows all the truth, but he doesn't dare to say it, saying it is equivalent to admitting his crime of bullying the king, and he will be beheaded all over the house; If you say it, you may be stewed into a pot of broth, just like that divine dog.
Post-creation testimonials:
I am 44 years old.
According to the assumption 10 years ago, I should now control at least 100 million dollars, run every day to do public welfare, go around persuading people to be compassionate, and do my best to make the world a better place, more harmonious, and more stable.
This 100 million is my jade bottle, and with it, the world will listen to me.
Ridiculous, right? Because of this delusion, I neither earned 100 million, nor did I run here every day to do public welfare, let alone play any role in the beauty of this world.
Sad. After almost a month of stopping, I asked myself a question:
If I really have a blessing of 100 million, where will my fate go under this aura?
Looking at it honestly, coupled with the question of the rich man who wanted to turn his dog into an internet celebrity, I had the inspiration for this article.
Therefore, I am by no means satirizing certain Internet celebrities, let alone the rich people who create Internet celebrities.
Thank you very much, friends, for stopping for so long and staying here, and I wish you all.