"Men look at the ears, women look at the mouth": Tell the child that this old saying must be understood before looking for a partner.
Marriage is one of the most important decisions in life and one of the hardest. Shakespeare once said, "Marriage is a sacred thing, and it is not to be easily offended." "Choosing the right partner will not only affect your happiness, but also your growth and future. Therefore, before looking for a partner, this old saying must be understood: "Men look at their ears, women look at their mouths." ”
The meaning of this sentence is that a man should find a woman who can listen to his words, and a woman should find a man who can speak softly. It sounds simple, but it's actually hard to do. Let's take a look at the examples of two couples whose married lives are vastly different.
One is Mr. Li and Ms. Wang, they have been married for ten years, and they are still in love. Mr. Li is an ordinary white-collar worker with a stable job and average income, but he is very patient and responsible, and no matter what difficulties he encounters, he will persevere and be responsible for his family. Ms. Wang is a freelancer who loves to write and travel, she is very good at talking, not only praising and encouraging her husband, but also communicating and understanding with him, and her words always make Mr. Li feel warm and happy.
The other couple is Mr. Zhang and Ms. Liu, who have only been married for two years and are already on the verge of divorce. Mr. Zhang is a successful entrepreneur with a successful career and a lot of wealth, but he is very stubborn and selfish, always feels that he is right, does not want to listen to other people's opinions, and does not care about his wife's feelings. Ms. Liu is a beautiful model, with outstanding looks and elegant temperament, but she has a small belly and is always picky and dissatisfied with her husband's words and deeds, and her words always make Mr. Zhang feel depressed and annoyed.
The problems encountered by both couples in life are actually very ordinary, such as work pressure, family chores, interactions between relatives and friends, and so on. But they respond in very different ways. Mr. Li and Ms. Wang are always able to support and encourage each other, face and solve problems together, and their marriage is like a calm river, flowing with sweetness and warmth. Mr. Zhang and Ms. Liu always blame and complain to each other, each avoiding and giving up on problems, and their marriage is like a storm, swept away by pain and indifference.
The different outcomes of the two couples are actually their own choices. Mr. Li and Ms. Wang understand the truth that "men look at their ears and women look at their mouths", and they know that a man should listen to his wife's words, not to obey his wife's everything, but to respect his wife's opinions, understand his wife's feelings, and discuss and decide with his wife. For a woman to speak gentle words, she does not mean flattering her husband for everything, but to praise her husband's merits, encourage her husband's efforts, and share and feel with her husband. Mr. Zhang and Ms. Liu ignore the truth that "men look at their ears, women look at their mouths", they only care about their own needs, do not consider each other's feelings, and there is no love in their words, only hurt.
Some people may say that men look at their ears, isn't it very discerning? Isn't it unprincipled for a woman to look at her mouth? Not really. When men look at their ears, it doesn't mean that men don't care about a woman's appearance, but that men care more about a woman's interior. There is such a poem in "National Style": "Bimei Mengjiang, why" Marriage is a sacred thing, it is not only related to the happiness of two people, but also related to the well-being of future generations. This is a quote from Shakespeare in The Merchant of Venice, and one we often hear. Choosing a partner is one of the most important decisions in life, and it affects our character, values, and even destiny. So, how do you choose the right partner? Do you have any lessons or tips to refer to?
Let's take a look at the stories of two couples whose situations are somewhat similar, but the results are very different. One is Mr. Li and Ms. Wang, they are college classmates, they got married after graduation and now have a lovely daughter. Mr. Li is an engineer with a stable job and a good income, but he is not very good at expressing his emotions. Ms. Wang is a teacher, hard work, but fulfilling, good at verbal communication, able to understand and support her husband. The other couple, Mr. Zhang and Ms. Liu, met on a blind date and had no children after getting married. Mr. Zhang is a sales manager who has a high level of work pressure and travels a lot, but he is ambitious and wants to make more money. Ms. Liu is an accountant with a dull job and average income, but she loves beauty and likes to buy famous brands, and she is always dissatisfied with her husband's work and income, often picky and complaining.
Both couples have encountered a lot of problems in their lives, such as the pressure of work, family chores, relationships between relatives and friends, and so on. They don't respond in the same way. Mr. Li and Ms. Wang, although they sometimes quarrel, they are always able to resolve them in time and find a mutually acceptable solution. They respect each other, trust each other, encourage each other, and face difficulties together. Ms. Wang knows Mr. Li's personality and will not force him to say what is in his heart, but use his gentleness and thoughtfulness to make him feel her love. Mr. Li also knows Ms. Wang's hard work, and will not pick and choose between her work and housework, but uses his patience and responsibility to make her feel his love. Mr. Zhang and Ms. Liu often quarrel over some trivial matters, and even fight. They blame each other, are suspicious of each other, hurt each other, and gradually drift apart. Ms. Liu did not understand Mr. Zhang's work and always used harsh words to make him feel undignified. Mr. Zhang also didn't care about Ms. Liu's feelings, and always used a cold and ruthless attitude to make her feel that there was no warmth.
The result of the two couples is not difficult to imagine. Although Mr. Li and Ms. Wang do not have too many material comforts, their marriage is happy and harmonious, and their daughter is also happy and healthy. Their relatives and friends envied them, saying that they were a match made in heaven. Mr. Zhang and Ms. Liu, although they have some wealth, their marriage is miserable, they have no children, and they have no friends. Their relatives and friends persuaded them, saying that they were an incompatible couple. In the end, they chose to divorce and each looked for a new partner, but they did not find true happiness.
What is the reason for the difference between the two couples? We can explain it with an old saying, which is that "men look at their ears, women look at their mouths". The meaning of this sentence is that a man should look at a woman's ears and a woman should look at a man's mouth. Why? Because the ears represent whether a woman can listen to her husband, and the mouth represents whether a man can speak gentle words. A woman who can listen to her husband is not necessarily submissive or weak, but wise and tolerant. A man who can speak gentle words is not necessarily rhetorical or hypocritical, but responsible and loving. Only in this way can men and women understand each other, support each other, grow each other, and form a harmonious family.
We can demonstrate this with some examples. First of all, we can look at a poem in "National Style", which is written like this:
Picking the weed, picking the weed, and the weeds also stopped. It is said that it will return, and the years will not end.
The house is beautiful, and the reason for the rampant. Not to mention the start of the house, the reason for the rampant.
The poem is a man's longing for his lover, who is unable to return home because of the war, so he can only collect vermicelli grass as a way to express his heart. He said that his lover picks the weed, and the weed will not stop growing, and he said that he wants to go home, and the years will not stop passing. He said that he did not have a house or a home, all because of the war, and he said that he could not live and work in peace because of the war. In this poem, we can see that the man attaches great importance to the woman's appearance, and he uses the word "Wei" to describe her beauty, because Weicao is a slender and soft plant with an elegant posture. However, his appearance is not the whole story, he pays more attention to the woman's ears, that is, whether she can listen to him, understand his distress, and wait for his return. If a woman fails to do this, then his love will pale and his poetry will become hollow.
Let's take a look at a plot in "Holiday Warmth", which is described like this:
Chen Jiaqi is a beautiful girl, she is married to a man named Lin Zhihao, he is an ordinary engineer, the income is not high, but he is very hardworking. Chen Jiaqi is very dissatisfied with Lin Zhihao's work and income, and she always uses harsh words to sarcastically mock him for his inability, no future, and no charm. Although Lin Zhihao loves Chen Jiaqi very much, he is also very hurt, he feels that his efforts have not been recognized, and his love has not been reciprocated. He began to become reticent, unwilling to communicate with Chen Jiaqi, or even reluctant to go home. There was a crisis in their marriage, and they began to consider divorce.
One day, when Lin Zhihao was working, he met a girl named Lin Wan'er, she was a new intern, she was very interested in Lin Zhihao's work, she used gentle words, praised his professionalism, asked about his experience, and encouraged his progress. Lin Zhihao was moved by her words, he felt that she was a girl who knew how to appreciate him, and he had a crush on her. He began to take the initiative to chat with her, eat with her, and work overtime with her. Their relationship became closer and closer, and they began to have ambiguous feelings.
Chen Jiaqi found out about Lin Zhihao's changes, she began to suspect that he was having an affair, and she decided to follow him, check his phone, and expose his secrets. She found the text messages of Lin Zhihao and Lin Wan'er, she was so angry, she felt that Lin Zhihao was a negative man, she decided to divorce him and make him regret it for the rest of his life. She found Lin Zhihao and, with angry words, accused him of infidelity and asked him to break up. Lin Zhihao was not to be outdone, and used indifferent words to refute her ignorance and agree to her divorce. And just like that, they ended their marriage with a fierce quarrel.