There is a passage on the Internet that makes countless women feel particularly heartbroken:Women are not a gender, but a situation-Children need the company of their mothers, and the company requires full dedication; And your husband wants you to be able to earn money to support your family and be as beautiful as a flower. Countless women are in the gap between work and family, while rushing around, they collapse and heal themselves, and they live as a team. When you are confused in a predicament and twisted in anxiety, you might as well try to read the following 8 sentences, and you may be able to understand what is the most sober and transparent way for a woman to live. 
There is never an absolutely right choice, only do your best to make the right choice. In every woman's life, she will face countless choices. Do you want to work hard in a big city, or do you want to go back to a small county town to seek stability? Do you return to your family to get married and have children, or stay in the workplace and continue to work hard? Each choice is a different path, a completely different future. Therefore, when many people are faced with difficulties, they often regret that they "didn't choose this path in the first place." ”But ask yourself, if you don't follow this path, will everything really go well? The most heart-wrenching truth in life is that no matter which choice you make, you will have regrets. Each of our choices is just the only answer that can be reached under the cognition at that time, in the current environment and conditions. Therefore, never blame yourself at the beginning, and never beautify the road you have not taken. Each road has its own unique scenery, and there are also wind and rain that can never be escaped. There is no absolutely right choice in life, the only thing we can do is to do our best to make our choice right. 
No one will be your life's dependence, and it is better to live as your own haven than to rely on others for shelter in everything. There is a line in "The First Half of My Life" that is particularly heart-wrenching:The road has to be walked step by step, and it is hard to eat one bite at a time, cramps and peeling the skin to be reborn, and there is no shortcut other than that. The road of life is bumpy and bumpy, and if you are always used to pinning your hopes on others, you will never have a real sense of security. Parents will eventually grow old, husbands may be separated, and friends and girlfriends may be too busy to take care of themselves. In this life, the only person who can accompany you from beginning to end, nourish you, and save you from fire and water thousands of times is yourself. Only by fighting for oneself can one have full confidence; The difficulties of life can only be truly grown by crossing them on their own; No one in this world will always be your support unconditionally, and it is better to live as your own haven than to rely on others for everything. 
No matter how bad your family of origin is, when you grow up, you can raise yourself all over again. There is no such thing as a perfect family of origin in this world.
The parents who have brought you harm, maybe the original family is worse than you. The concept of the original family was originally intended to allow us to see our own problems clearly, so as to better heal ourselves, rather than allowing us to persistently pursue responsibility, blame, and resentment. No matter how bad your family of origin is, when you grow up, you can raise yourself all over again. If you were once materially scarce, then work hard to make money and give yourself a comfortable life; Once blamed and suppressed, then learn to tell yourself every day: "You can go all the way to now, you are already great!" ”Those unfulfilled desires can be satisfied by themselves; Those places that you once particularly wanted to go can also plan, save money, and go on your own. When you let go of your hurt, try to see and accept your imperfect parents. When you know how to love yourself well and begin to use your own strength to nourish the inner child in your heart, you will become your own family of origin. 
Exquisite elegance refers to a state of good conversation, decent dressing, independent thinking, and stable emotions. In many people's cognition, exquisite elegance is Prada's fashion, Chanel's perfume, Dior's makeup, and LV's bag. When the connotation of exquisite elegance is only a luxury name, it is easy for us to unconsciously fall into the trap of excessive pursuit of material desires. In fact, delicate elegance can not refer to a state of self-consistency? For example, good conversation, decent dressing, independent thinking, and stable emotions. A good conversation requires a good knowledge reserve, which can be acquired through reading and traveling. Decent outfits do not need to be branded, as long as they are refreshing and clean, in line with the temperament of the figure, and also have their own charm. Independent thinking is inseparable from rich experience, and having experienced different lifestyles, you will have multiple perspectives. Stable emotions require us to continue to practice and learn a normal mind in the midst of the bits and pieces of chicken and dogs in one place. When you can really do this, even if you don't have a luxury product on your body, you already have your own sophistication and elegance. 
In addition to being sick, most of the pain you feel is due to your own values, not all of it. Psychologist Ellis has a famous "ABC theory of emotions". To put it simply, it is the event that does not directly cause you to feel emotional, but your perception of the event that leads to negative emotions. When something bad happens, whether to let ourselves have an emotional breakdown and suffer internal friction, or try to accept it and make up for it with all our might, is actually in our thoughts. When you are obsessed with your looks and figure, you may want to tell yourself that you are unique, even if you are not perfect; When teaching children to encounter difficulties, remember to deal with their mood first and then deal with things. Instead of always complaining about the unsatisfactory things in life, try to look at them differently. Perhaps, you can really get a completely different result. 
Being anxious in advance before a bad thing happens is equivalent to encountering two bad things, and being repeatedly entangled afterwards is equivalent to encountering countless times. In fact, most of the things you are worried about will not happen. Many women often fall into all kinds of inexplicable anxieties: for example, they want to prove themselves in the workplace, but they are especially afraid that they "really can't do it"; In the relationship, I often suffer from gains and losses, and I always like to ask "whether he loves me or not". In life, I am often entangled because I can't balance my family and career. In fact, the reason why many sisters are used to anxiety and internal friction is often because they like to preset predicaments. And when a preconceived dilemma becomes a habit, it is bound to have a destructive effect on the current state. You see, your anxiety doesn't help, it keeps dragging its feet, so why not try to let it go? Letting go of anxiety is not lying flat, but putting in the best effort, but not forcing the only result; It is to prepare for the worst and make the best arrangements. Don't be entangled, don't be attached, do your best, and obey the destiny of God.
If you encounter a problem, you will solve it, if you can't solve it, you will ask for help, and if you can't ask for help, you will put it down. Every woman's life seems to encounter a few bad things. Maybe it's a workplace dilemma, maybe it's a conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, maybe it's parenting pressure, maybe it's an emotional crisis. When we try our best to solve the problem but have no clue, and ask for help but to no avail, it is better to leave it at that. In many cases, it is not the current predicament that makes people physically and mentally exhausted, but that we always love to compete with ourselves. Being able to move forward with problems is not another kind of bravery? Letting go is a relief, an enlightenment, and a wise choice. In the baptism of time, the hurdles that could not be overcome in the past may have been light, and the big things in the past may no longer be important. There is never a static life, and what cannot be solved at the moment is better to leave it to time.
Allowing everything to happen and accepting that everything backfires is the only way to truly reconcile with life. In my book "I Allow", Hellinger says: The only thing I have to do is to experience it fully, experience it thoroughly, and then allow it to happen. When we go through the complicated world, we will find that permission is a necessary lesson in life. Allow yourself to be ordinary, allow the impermanence of the world, and allow yourself to be not so likable. Let the flowers become flowers, let the trees become trees, let others become others, let yourself be yourself. And we will eventually understand that the true strength of the original is acceptance. Accept the life that is out of control, accept the regrets that have been left behind; Accept the sudden parting of life and death, and accept the inexplicable crit of life. Allowing is a calmness, and acceptance is a state of mind. When we can calmly accept that everything backfires, we have truly reconciled with life.
In this life, it is gratifying to live a wonderful life, and it is not impossible to live an ordinary life, as long as we live up to the years. There is never an ending without any results, and there is no life without regrets. May you be in your own time zone and rhythm, not only to chase with all your might, but also to be happy to know your fate; Don't be entangled, don't self-consume, and live your own wonderful life bravely.