Controversy Project
As parents, we aspire to have a good communication relationship with our children, but sometimes we may inadvertently adopt inappropriate communication methods that may have a negative impact on our children. The following ten communication methods, 90% of parents have inadvertently used, we parents should be vigilant, if these ten communication methods are used for a long time, it will ruin children.
1.Criticism and comparison.
Excessive criticism and frequent comparisons between children and other children can undermine a child's self-esteem and self-confidence, causing them to develop negative emotions. Many parents will unconsciously compare their own children with other people's children when they see what other people's children are doing, and then they will criticize their children for not doing as well as others. In fact, this comparison is subconsciously comparing the shortcomings of their own children with the strengths of other children, which is a serious PUA, we should set progress goals for children, compared with their own past, focus on children's progress and efforts, and give encouragement with a positive attitude.
2.Deny your child's feelings.
When children express their feelings, they will feel neglected and helpless if we always deny their feelings. When many parents face their children's procrastination and emotions, they also deny their children's feelings, what are you so tired of, you still blame me for your own procrastination, the child falls and hurts, ah it doesn't hurt, what does it hurt, etc., these words can't be said to the child. We should listen to their thoughts and emotions and respect their feelings in order to build a good emotional connection. We need to analyze what causes the child's emotional appearance, and guide the child to express his emotions and feelings correctly.
3.Don't overblame.
Blaming children excessively can cause them frustration and negatively affect their development. Instead, we can give advice and guidance when appropriate to help them learn and grow from their mistakes.
4.Ignore your child's efforts.
When children put in the effort, we should give recognition and praise instead of ignoring their achievements for fear that they will be proud. This boosts their self-confidence and motivation. Many parents are worried about their children's achievements, if praise will easily lead to complacency, in fact, there is no need, we should affirm children's efforts, and guide children to pursue higher progress.
5.Unrealistic expectations.
Excessively high or unrealistic expectations can make children feel stressed. We should set goals within a reasonable range and support them to develop according to their abilities and interests. Every child is born differently, we have different ways of education, and there is no need to expect too much. Your child's physical and mental health is paramount. There is only one first, but as long as the child is self-motivated and can grow up happily, it is the best education.
6.Lack of encouragement and support.
Parental encouragement and support are essential to a child's development. We should actively express appreciation and support for their efforts to help them build self-confidence and optimism. Many parents will unconsciously exaggerate the small mistakes made by their children, such as, what will happen if you go on like this, etc., this kind of communication is a kind of suppression of children, and we must try to avoid it.
7.Use negative labels.
Labelling children negatively can affect their self-image and behaviour. We should focus on using positive language to express our evaluations and descriptions of children, so that they can feel our love and support. Many parents will give their children some negative labels in their words, such as you are lazy, you are stupid, you are rude, etc., these words will cause great harm to children, let children fall into serious self-denial, and may use these negative labels to excuse themselves when facing failure later, and face setbacks with depression or numbness.
8.Threats and intimidation.
Using threats and intimidation to control children will only foster negative emotions and bad behaviors. We should communicate with our children in an understanding and patient manner, and set reasonable rules and constraints. Many parents will unconsciously threaten their children in the face of their children's naughtiness, for example, if you do this again, I don't want you anymore, if you don't study hard, I will send you to the police uncle to take care of you, etc., this threat and intimidation is extremely detrimental to the child's physical and mental health.
9.Excessive interference and control.
Excessive interference and control can rob children of their independence and autonomy, preventing them from developing their own abilities and problem-solving skills. Moderate guidance and encouragement can help children build self-confidence and learn independence. A lot of parents will say, how many hours a day are you going to study from now on, how are you going to be, otherwise I won't care about you. Excessive control of your child's behavior. Parents should try to avoid it.
10.Negative comparisons.
Negative comparisons can bring unnecessary anxiety and low self-esteem to children. We should introduce positive information and educational resources to our children, and establish a positive and healthy learning environment.
The above are ten ways of communication that can ruin your child, and as parents, we should try to avoid these ways and communicate with our children with a positive mindset and language.
Key words in this article: education, parent-child education, family education, communication skills, parent experience, parents' guide, child growth, Haoyuan family education, primary school students' family education, parental guidance