Restoring Family Harmony: A Shift from Blame to Understanding.
In the microcosm of the family, we often face power struggles and emotional entanglements. The former Soviet psychologist Petrovsky once profoundly analyzed four models of family relationships, among which the **ist family relationship is regarded as the most destructive. In such a family environment, one member often becomes a ruthless critic, constantly criticizing and educating other family members, making the family atmosphere tense and cold.
Think of those familiar scenes: after a busy day, you prepare a sumptuous dinner, only to be picky about the details of the dishes by your partner; When your child is sick, you are anxious, but you also have to face the reproach of your partner and question your ability to take care; When an accident happens, you try to make up for it, only to be endlessly counted down by the other party. This mode of getting along with people who blame when they encounter problems, as Mr. Yang Jiang said, is one of the root causes of family tragedy in China.
However, is blame really an effective way to solve the problem? In fact, it often only exacerbates conflicts, leaving families that could have been warm and cold and alienated. On the contrary, if we can learn not to blame and be more considerate and understanding, family relationships will be fundamentally improved.
Here's a thought-provoking story. An old man who traded his horse for a bag of rotten apples at the bazaar, when he returned home, instead of being scolded by his wife, received a compliment from her and a passionate kiss. This story teaches us that tolerance and understanding in the family enhance feelings more than blame and blame. When we learn to think from the other person's perspective and forgive our family for their mistakes, family can truly become our safe haven.
Recently, a quarrel between a couple over a bowl of noodles has attracted widespread attention on social **. The wife asked for a change of bowl because of the noodle problem, but the husband insisted that she should be patient and persuaded her one after another. In the end, the wife's collapse and crying and the husband's self-righteousness became the focus of heated discussions among netizens. This incident exposes a common family problem: we tend to focus too much on right and wrong and ignore the feelings and needs of family members.
Emotional expert Zhao Yongheng has faced a similar dilemma. He and his wife quarreled over trivial matters, and it was not until he asked a golden couple for the secret of happiness that it dawned on him. The old couple told him, "It's better not to be reasonable in life." Zhao Yongheng began to try to change his behavior and use practical actions to care for and understand his wife. He put a note at a key point in the house to remind his wife of the precautions. This small change has significantly improved the wife's condition, and the relationship between the two has become intimate again.
This story teaches us that the family is not a debate arena and that there is no need to fight to win or lose. We should learn to let go of our stubbornness and self-righteousness, and face our family members with a more tolerant and understanding attitude. As Rao Pingru, the author of the book "Ping Ru Meitang", said: "More often, what we need is not a person who is right in everything, but a person who spoils himself unconditionally." "In the family, understanding and tolerance are more important than correctness and reasoning.
Looking back at these stories and cases, it is not difficult to find a common central idea: lowering expectations and embracing respect are the keys to building harmonious family relationships. When we learn to let go of our high expectations and demands on our family members, we can be more esolate with their actions and thoughts. When we learn to accept and respect each other's differences, we can live together more harmoniously.
Finally, let's consider the question: in the family, would you rather be a ruthless critic or a warm understander? Your choices will determine your family's future and well-being. Let's work together to rebuild family harmony from accusation to understanding!