Her mother was given to others by her patriarchal grandmother since she was a child, and her adoptive parents died young, leaving her alone and self-reliant, setting up stalls, chopping wood, and picking up pig feces when she was young. Maintain a living, always diligently help the neighbors to make soy sauce and run errands, hide in the house when sick and fever, and listen to other people's parents every evening, calling their children home for dinner, someone loves.
Since I was sensible, I have experienced her extreme care for my brother and sister, and I have given good things to my husband and children, but I am reluctant, hard-working, and always paying for others.
Maybe it's the experience of life that makes her seem to be afraid that others will be good to her, and others will be good to her, so she is very worried and uncomfortable, and only when she gives others peace of mind, and even has a pleasing personality.
After growing up, I was also imperceptibly influenced by my mother's personality, biased towards giving, afraid of offending others, and would rather be wronged, these thoughts have accompanied me in my life.
Of course, this does not mean that it is necessarily good or bad, everyone has their own life script, how they will interpret it, and it is also automatically and spontaneously presented.
It's just that one day I feel that when a good person in the true sense of the word gives to others, his heart is peaceful, joyful, and he wants nothing, and his heart is not compromised, it is not distorted, and it is not contrary to his heart. When I like to do it, I will do it, but others should bear it to bear, there is no need to compromise for the recognition of others, and the harmony of the relationship, in fact, this unequal relationship state develops in the end, sometimes it is thankless, and even meet people who do not know how to be grateful and bite back, conniving at people's inertia (bad habits) cracks, and even breaking out resentment.
A person accepts the multifaceted nature of his own existence, just like the yin and yang sides of the body, the spring, summer, autumn and winter of nature, day and night, sunny days, thunder and rain. There are laughter, there are tears, this is a kind of natural, automatic spontaneous presentation, if you are bound by all kinds of beliefs, you can only do this, not like that, as long as it is good, not bad, then it is difficult to live out the true self and freedom in life, you can only condense in a certain space.
Of course, it's not the two extremes, and then we start to be indifferent and selfish, because when we become more and more selfish and indifferent, we also enter another constricted and restricted space, and we are not comfortable.
There are no absolute good people and bad people in the world, the multifaceted nature of human nature will be presented differently in different situations, to be a middle way person, to accept different aspects of yourself, when I am happy, you can give, when others have to inch in, moderately keep the bottom line to give a reminder, as long as you don't want to hurt others, just be a real and sincere person, when you are allowed to be your true self, you can allow others to be yourself, understand your own imperfections, then you also understand the person opposite.
A good person is not a wronged person, but can warm himself first, do not violate the sincere giving, do not bear the responsibility of resisting others, do not seek recognition, do not seek the so-called face, be impartial, the existence of the middle way, free and true, do not hurt others or hurt oneself, everything can be balanced.