Daolang has long disappeared from the public eye over the years, and he is hidden in the world, where to find his trace.
There have been all kinds of rumors about Daolang in the past, which makes people curious and fascinating.
The Daolang in our impression is mysterious, low-key, silent and vicissitudes.
Always wears a hat, doesn't like to talk, doesn't like to show up.
Perhaps we think that geniuses should be so withdrawn.
But Daolang's quiet and lonely personality is largely due to the growth of his original family.
And the pain that he can never let go of in his life is the sudden death of his brother.
In those years, Daolang and his brother who wandered between life and death became an unapproachable coincidence.
In 1971, Daolang was born in Zizhong County, Neijiang City, Sichuan Province, formerly known as Luo Lin.
There is an older brother who is five years older than him, his mother dances in the art troupe, and his father is in charge of the lights.
Daolang's tutor is particularly strict, and his words and deeds must conform to his parents' norms and rules.
And Daolang was very naughty and rebellious when he was a child.
Once, he also asked his classmates to go to Shaolin Temple to learn martial arts, but he ran out of money and ran back.
Daolang said that every time his parents asked him a question, he had to think clearly before speaking, because if he didn't speak well, he would get hurt.
It can be seen that Daolang has been punished by his parents since he was a child.
Such a strict education made Daolang become less and less talkative since he was a child, and he was particularly taciturn.
The eldest brother is like a father, and his elder brother loves to discipline him more than his parents, which makes the already young and vigorous Daolang's heart full of bitterness and boredom.
Therefore, when Daolang was a child, he hated and feared, angry and annoyed when he saw his brother.
He said that his brother was an "educator" who specialized in educating him.
In Daolang's heart, his brother has always been a particularly strong person, with a straightforward personality.
Sometimes, if Daolang is disobedient, his brother will keep nagging, and if he doesn't work, he will beat him.
So he said that his biggest worry when he was a child was that he wanted to grow up quickly.
The two brothers are completely incompatible in personality and contradict each other.
The elder brother is upright and strong, and Daolang is stubborn and withdrawn.
Because my parents have been working outside for a long time, they rarely come home.
The two brothers have been fostered at their grandparents' house.
Grandma is old, plus there is a sick grandfather to take care of.
So grandma basically didn't care about them.
As a result, the responsible elder brother became the one who disciperns Daolang every day instead of his parents.
In Daolang's memory, his brother generally doesn't speak more than three sentences, and he has a straightforward personality and a big temper.
As soon as the brothers have a conflict, quarrels and fights become commonplace, and it is often Daolang who ends in failure and resentment.
Daolang, who was in the rebellious period, hated his brother for more than ten years, and at the same time made him "selfish".
Once, the unsociable Daolang had a conflict with a gangster in society.
As a result, Daolang was blocked at the gate of the school, and three or four people surrounded him, unable to parry.
When his classmates saw it, they hurriedly ran home to inform his brother, who was alone with a steel pipe and drove people away.
The elder brother also warned: "Don't bully my younger brother again in the future." ”
thought that this incident would make Daolang's stern impression of his brother begin to change and have a good impression.
Unexpectedly, Daolang, who caused trouble, was criticized and educated by his brother after returning home.
The young Daolang lived up to his soft heart and let the brothers fight for more than ten years.
In a conflict, the two experienced a tragic fight.
The aggrieved and angry Daolang knelt directly on the ground and prayed "Brother die soon".
Unexpectedly, it became a scar that Daolang would never heal in the future.
When my brother was 20 years old, he talked to a girlfriend who was a few years older than him and loved her very much.
After Daolang found out, he was curious, and he knew that his brother's girlfriend had other boyfriends and had a rich love history.
So, the "dark and venomous" Daolang came home and sarcastically said to his brother: "Green hat".
The result can be imagined, Daolang was beaten by his brother again.
The two were incompatible that day, and the contradiction broke out to the extreme.
The angry brother and Daolang quarreled in the dark, like enemies.
It happened that my mother was at home that day, and because she felt sorry for her youngest son Daolang, her mother scolded her brother a few words and asked him to let her brother go.
The elder brother has a violent and stubborn personality, runs away from home in a fit of anger, and never comes back.
Less than a week after his brother left home, he died in a car accident outside.
This incident cast a shadow of grief on the whole family, especially the young Daolang.
That year, Daolang was 15 years old and his brother was only 20 years old.
When Daolang went to wrap his brother's body, his body was still soft, but he didn't leave a single tear.
He later wrote in a blog:
For he was filled with fear, and felt that this was the fulfillment of his curse, and that he had killed his brother.The unexpected death of his brother made Daolang fall into deep self-blame and remorse, and he never passed this hurdle in his life.It was this brother's selfishness and hatred that killed him. ”
When guarding the spirit, Daolang never left his brother and kept him silently.
At that time, even relatives and friends felt that the relationship between the two brothers was so deep and touching.
Daolang said that in fact, how could they know the fearful confession ...... in his brother's heart
Daolang's heart completely comprehended the heart-piercing pain of torn hands and feet, which affected the melancholy background of his life.
That year also became the most resentful year in Daolang's life.
Grieving the loss of loved ones and resenting oneself.
He later confessed, "Why can't he be nicer to him before he leaves?" ”
When my brother ran away from home, he didn't have a key with him.
So after his brother died, his mother kept asking Daolang not to close the door so that his brother could go home.
This kind of inner torment instantly made Daolang seem to be a different person, and he was even more withdrawn and contemplative.
"Since my brother died, there has been no laughter in our family. ”
Later, I fell in love with **, in order to resolve this inner trauma and the dull mood of the family.
So the 16-year-old Daolang, after silently leaving a note, left home to pursue his dream.
"I'm leaving, I'm going to pursue my ** dream, don't look for me. ”
In 2004, Daolang officially debuted with a single "The First Snow in 2002" and became popular all over the country.
Daolang began to sweep the entire Chinese music scene with a ** storm.
Since then, people have remembered this singer who always wore a hat and had a high-pitched and hoarse voice.
And Daolang loves to wear hats, also because of the impact of his brother's death on him.
One is that he hopes to remember his brother in this way, and the other is that he implies that he doesn't want to be disturbed by the world.
After becoming famous, Daolang "saw the head of the dragon but did not see the tail", and has always been mysterious and low-key.
Although he has become popular, who can know the pain in his heart.
Over the years, Daolang has never forgotten, nor does he dare to forget his deceased brother.
Every time I think of my brother, my heart will be filled with inexplicable sadness.
It wasn't until many years later that Daolang began to gradually try to talk to himself.
So he wrote about his youth with his brother in his blog to commemorate his brother and face the guilt in his heart.
And this self-blame has not been completely shaken off until now.
He blamed himself for not arguing with his brother and resented him.
has always blamed himself for indirectly "killing" his brother and unable to get out of the shackles in his heart.
"This pain has been on my back for many years. ”
Later, he also wrote a song to commemorate his brother.
This song is the song "Wandering Life and Death Child", but my brother can no longer hear him.
Mom, please don't cry.Today's Daolang rarely shows up, but it seems to have become much calmer.I am a wandering child.
I left with all my might.
It's just because you chose me to come in the first place.
Impermanence has been waiting.
Meet the future of the world.
You treat me as your favorite person in this life.
You also can't understand what it is to return the gift.
Mom, please don't be sad.
Your tears make me wander between life and death.
I love to paint.
Endless colors.
Confuse me between this and the other side.
Wandering obsessively.
Those old songs floating in the wind actually hide the joys, sorrows, and sorrows of his past.
And his brother, who quarreled and resented when he was young, became the wandering concern of his life.
It's like the lyrics say:
"You regard me as your most beloved person in this life, and you can't understand what you want to do. ”