Let's start with a question: What kind of girl do you think is a good girl?
I believe that many people will say, kind, well-behaved, sensible, obedient, and filial;
However, have you noticed that everyone's words are: altruistic, or self-interested;
When you judge a girl's quality or badness, you start more from your own needs, and consider your own gains and losses and feelings;
Be well-behaved and sensible, obedient and filial, this is to reduce your "management cost", or "interpersonal communication cost";
You hope that a good girl can not know how to resist, do not know how to distinguish, do not know how to fight, and let herself lead the way;
Kindness, on the surface, means that this girl has a high moral level, good cultivation, and a pure heart;
However, the 'kindness' in many people's mouths refers to a girl who does not have the "harmfulness" to herself;
Even if you are very cruel to the girl, deceive her, let her down, and hurt her, she must forgive you unconditionally, otherwise she will be labeled as "unkind";
In other words, "good girl" is a set of moral shackles that are independently evaluated by outsiders but put on girls, and is a symbolic label;
However, this evaluation of "good girls" is very false, untrue, and untenable;
Because a real person, a really good person, is often "aggressive";
In Freud's theory, there is the concept of the "id" and the "superego";
The self refers to all innate instincts and impulses, commonly known as how to be happy, with a high degree of freedom;
For example, raw, uncontrolled anger, sexuality, eros, hunger;
The "superego" is the moralized self, which conforms to the rules of society and public order and good customs, and is the idealized self, representing conscience, civilization and perfection.
Did you find it? A good girl is not a natural being, but a product of being "disciplined" by the family, society and the people around her;
Their "goodness" often means that they have suppressed their true selves, ignored their own feelings, given up their own needs, and even surrendered a lot of their own interests;
They are using a set of shackles to restrain their pursuit of happiness and beauty;
For example, in adolescence, I obviously longed for love, but I didn't dare to fight for it boldly, feeling that taking the initiative to pursue a man meant that I was very shameless and afraid of what others would say;
In terms of appearance, he didn't dare to make himself bright and moving, but made himself a "Cinderella";
usually doesn't dare to show off his beauty, so he can't find the advantages of his appearance and figure, hiding in the corner sighing and inferiority, and letting some "glamorous goods" snatch away the man who makes him excited;
In the workplace and school, I am obviously talented and capable, but I just tell myself that I have to keep a low profile, don't take credit from my classmates and colleagues, and give others a platform to give full play to their abilities, otherwise it will be too unkind;
However, if you are really capable, good resources and platforms, honor and interests should belong to you, how can you "rob others", so to speak?
In the family, in the face of relatives who bully you, you don't dare to fight back, don't dare to fight back, otherwise you will be said to be unscrupulous about blood and family, you just say, people can trample you under your feet, why can't you be ruthless at him?
Remember, the people and things around you should be here to help you, if someone consumes you, tortures you, and hurts you for a long time, you should have "broken up" with him;
Don't make any bodhisattva hearts, people don't think so, people just think that you can't leave, can't let go, don't fight, don't speak out, because of incompetence, you are a loser (loser) in life.
Good girl, you are a living person, you don't need to put so many moral shackles on yourself, you always feel that you owe someone and are sorry for anyone;
If you want to say that you owe, you also owe yourself;
You have to release a part of your "self", how can you be happy.
What a good girl?
I just want to be a happy and confident girl!
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