If the mother-in-law is found to have the following specific manifestations, it proves that she is completely disappointed in her daughter-in-law
I am a mother-in-law born in the 60s, and as a mother of only children, I have been a mother-in-law for four years. For this topic, I would like to share some specific thoughts and coping methods that post-60s mothers-in-law may have after being disappointed in their daughter-in-law through my observations and feelings. Since I only have this personal experience, I have no personal experience of mothers-in-law in other generations, so I can only describe the situation of the post-60s.
Among our post-60s women, the social policy restrictions on childbearing at that time led to a couple being able to have only one child. Since I gave birth to a son, becoming a mother-in-law was the only option, not a mother-in-law. At the same time, we all have the dream of having a daughter in our hearts, and we are envious of those who have daughters.
Therefore, initially we will treat our daughter-in-law as our own daughter and hope to be able to treat her like our own daughter. However, when our son got married, we gradually realized that the relationship between daughter-in-law and daughter-in-law could not be as simple as that between mother and daughter. Unlike mothers and daughters, daughters-in-law may have estrangements and hold grudges because of some things, even if the other 99 things are done well.
Over time, the mother-in-law will find that the relationship with her daughter-in-law is not as close as that of mother and daughter. Since the daughter-in-law does not regard her mother-in-law as her biological mother, the mother-in-law will gradually become emotionally cold. is no longer as enthusiastic and concerned as he was at the beginning, but only contacts when there is something important on WeChat, and rarely takes the initiative to chat with his daughter-in-law.
Even if you want to hit **, you have to think twice about worrying that your daughter-in-law will be busy or bored. Gradually, the mother-in-law became indifferent and contacted her daughter-in-law only when necessary. They are beginning to truly realize that their daughters-in-law are just the wives of their sons, the mothers of their grandchildren, and no longer see them as family.
Although the mother-in-law had hoped to treat her daughter-in-law sincerely and see her as a family, the reality is that the daughter-in-law may not have the same idea. In the case that the daughter-in-law does not put her mind on her mother-in-law, the mother-in-law can only do her part and keep a normal heart. Because the greater the hope, the greater the disappointment, and only by facing it with peace of mind can we avoid feeling completely disappointed in the end.
From the beginning, the mothers-in-law were conscientious and conscientious to their daughter-in-law, doing their best for her sake, shopping and giving gifts, red envelopes, caring for her, and even treating her as their own daughter.
However, after discovering that the daughter-in-law did not appreciate it and ignored these concerns and loves, the mothers-in-law began to restrain their words and said no more.
No longer complain, because in the eyes of the daughter-in-law, the mother-in-law only pays for her son and grandson, not for her. Therefore, after the mothers-in-law understood the daughter-in-law's intentions, they chose to be silent.
This makes them more sober and stronger. When the mothers-in-law worked hard for the small family, but only got grievances and disappointments, they finally realized that their efforts were underestimated.
Especially the mothers-in-law who work hard to take care of their grandchildren finally understand that giving does not necessarily bring returns. They are obligated when the children need it, but when the task is completed, they are often turned away.
Therefore, the mothers-in-law of the post-60s generation understand that after three or five years of their grandson, they will have the right to withdraw from the life of their son and daughter-in-law with dignity, return to their own small home, and live a free life. Since then, they no longer go in and out of their son's house at will, and they sensibly guard their pension money.
They are soberly aware that after their son gets married, their parents' home is their son's home, but their son's home will never cease to be their parents' home. A boundary was drawn between him and his daughter-in-law, and instead of giving red envelopes at any time as before, he began to live in his own way.
Mothers-in-law understand that no matter how good and how much they give, one mistake will be completely denied. Therefore, they choose to be themselves, no longer stuttering, no longer looking at their faces, and sticking to their pension money, because it is never possible to count on their sons and daughters-in-law, and they can only rely on their own pension money.
In short, if you find that the mothers-in-law of the post-60s generation have become indifferent, taciturn, sober and strong, it is because they are completely disappointed in their daughters-in-law.