From the first day I married into my mother-in-law's family, I deeply felt the "pressure" from my mother-in-law. She would constantly ask me about my previous family situation to determine if I was "up to par"; Check my cooking skills and expect me to be a "good wife and mother". I understand her intentions, but I also feel inexplicable - I am a modern urban woman and have my own career, why do I have to be tied to my in-law's house to cook and take care of the children?
And so the silent opposition began. My mother-in-law insisted on going to bed early and waking up early, while I occasionally came home late; She eats around the table with the whole family at every meal, and I like to eat while I work; She believes that the most important thing for a woman is to have a husband and children, and I still want to continue my unfinished career planning ......We disagree almost every day about the big and small things in our lives.
The most unbearable thing for me is that my mother-in-law always compares my younger siblings. My younger siblings are very traditional, and they serve their in-laws wholeheartedly. My mother-in-law always said that I was not filial enough, not as virtuous as my brother and sister. When I retorted to her, my mother-in-law acted like a victim and said that I had no respect for my elders. This annoyed me exactly.
Gradually, I didn't want to live at home, and I began to try to avoid communication with my mother-in-law. I would find all sorts of excuses not to attend family gatherings, go back to my house after eating, and sometimes even work overtime and not come home at all. My father-in-law worriedly persuaded me: "Is it that my mother-in-law is not good enough to meet you?" She's straight-tempered, you have to be tolerant of her. I was furious when I heard it - I was suffering from long-term mental oppression, how could I gently let go of the sentence "You have to tolerate her"?
The atmosphere at home is becoming more and more tense. Sometimes the conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law will also implicate the husband, and he is difficult to choose between his mother and wife. Gradually, he also developed a grudge against me. "You and my mom had another fight, didn't you? I don't think you really have a discussion on either side. "I was dissatisfied that he didn't give me support, and my husband felt that I was not doing anything. The feelings between husband and wife are invisibly consumed.
Just as I was thinking about whether or not to get a divorce, an episode stopped me. One day I came home from overtime, and when I opened the door, I saw my mother-in-law sitting alone in the dark. On the table in front of her were my favorite xiaolongbao and red date tea, which she had made herself. The wrinkles at the corners of the mother-in-law's eyes seem to be deep again, and the whole person is slightly decadent.
Mother-in-law, why haven't you slept yet? I asked softly. Only then did the mother-in-law come back to her senses and reflexively said, "Just wait for you to come back for supper......I thought you weren't coming back. ”
At that moment, my nose suddenly became sore, and the defense line in my heart collapsed. It turned out that when I deliberately kept my distance from my mother-in-law, she still cared about me and looked forward to me coming home. In an instant, I realized that I was actually hurting the old man's heart deeply. Perhaps, I don't need to reconcile with my mother-in-law, but at least for the rest of her life, I should let her stop making her sad ...... me
From that day on, I no longer deliberately avoided my mother-in-law. The relationship with her husband is also slowly repaired. Occasionally we would argue over something, but I tried to calm myself down. "It takes time to desensitize to get along," this is what the pre-wedding counsellor told me. Perhaps, my mother-in-law and I just need more time to understand and tolerate each other. This is not easy for newcomers, but it is also the path we must take.
Life is full of flavors, wrapped in too many emotional sugar coatings. The life of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is also destined to be full of ups and downs. But as long as you are understanding and tolerant, and move forward with a smile on your face, you will always end up with a buffer point that you can get along with for a long time. That's why I still choose to stay at my mother-in-law's house and live with my mother-in-law.
**10,000 Fans Incentive Plan