A person's life has to go through marriage, family, and children. Marriage is an inseparable part of life, and some people say that "marriage is like a besieged city, those who are surrounded by the city want to come out, and those who stand outside the city want to enter".
What exactly is love? What is Marriage?
One day, Plato asked Socrates: Teacher, what is love? Socrates said: Please go through the wheat field and pick the largest and most ** ear of wheat back, but there is a rule, you can't go back, you can only pick it once.
After Plato had been gone for a long time, he came back empty-handed. Socrates asks: How did you come back empty-handed? Plato said: When I went into the wheat field, I saw several ears of wheat that were very large and splendid, but I always thought that there might be bigger and better ones ahead, so I did not pick them, and as I went on, the ears of wheat I saw were not as good as those I had seen before, so I had to return empty-handed.
Socrates said: This is love.
Love is courage, countless pains but never change the yearning for love.
Plato asks again: What is marriage? Socrates said: Again, please go through the wheat field and pick the largest and most ** ear of wheat back, but there is a rule, you can't go back, you can only pick it once.
Plato went for a while and then returned, with an ear of wheat in his hand, but it was not particularly large. Socrates asked: This ear of wheat is not particularly large, why did you choose it? Plato said: When I walked through the wheat field and saw a few particularly good ears of wheat, this time I learned the lesson of the last time, and when I saw a good ear of wheat, I chose it, and I was afraid that if I did not choose it, I would miss the opportunity to pick the ears of wheat and go home empty-handed, although it was not the best one I had encountered.
Socrates said: This is marriage.
Marriage is contentment, but it is also a duty and responsibility without hesitation.
Finance is always the cornerstone of marriage
How important is money?
Food, clothing, housing, transportation, firewood, rice, oil and salt, children's education, elderly support, and sophistication. It seems that there is no way around the money.
Yes, marriage is actually an exchange of values, no matter how good love is, it will be vulnerable in the face of reality, and it is true that money can solve most of the problems in life.
The marriage of Haiping and Su Chun in "Snail House", when the two of them got married, there was no bride price, no house, no car, and after marriage, they were still crowded in a few square meters of snail house, sharing bathrooms and kitchens with others on weekdays, and even the basic living needs could not be met, it is conceivable that their emotional crisis has already accumulated and penetrated, and a trivial matter can become the fuse of quarrels, and this is just a true portrayal of thousands of ordinary marriages.
There is a young man in Douyin, because the woman asked for a bride price of 180,000, the guy found relatives and friends and was not easy to get together 160,000, and finally the woman had a tough attitude when she got married, and she would not marry without a bride price of 180,000, and the guy slammed the door in a fit of anger, and traveled around the world with 160,000 yuan.
I've seen a heart-piercing question: What moment did you die of marriage? Tens of millions of replies all point to the same answer: "when there is no money".
Because you don't have money, you'll be arguing over who spends more and who spends less this month; Because you don't have money, you will be distressed about which kindergarten to enroll your child in; Because you don't have money, you will be stretched thin because you need to give your parents red envelopes during the Chinese New Year.
But what is lacking in marriage is not only money
The sense of crisis caused by the lack of money makes two people who are running for basic survival have no energy to warm each other many times.
Men's tempers are becoming more and more irritable, and women are nagging more and more, and when they are emotional, they only care about saying cruel words when they quarrel, and they poke each other full of thorns, and they have long forgotten how they came together in the first place.
Men are trying to earn money to maintain the family's expenses, in order to make a family of wives and children can live a better life, and strive to improve their abilities, hoping that one day they can change the fate of the whole family and live a happy life from now on, no longer worry about firewood, rice, oil and salt, but the hostess of some families are addicted to mahjong, and they can lose all their husband's salary in one month. A woman who knows how to maintain a family is to devote all her energy to improving her abilities, taking care of children and the elderly, allowing her husband to work with more peace of mind, and trying to change the fate of the family.
A good marriage never changes each other
Love is not a luxury, nor is it a taking, nor is it control.
Love is appreciation, respect, understanding and tolerance.
Hayao Miyazaki once said: Love is not to look for a perfect person, but to learn to appreciate the imperfect person with a perfect eye.
The most heard sentence is: If life is only as first seen, in the early days of love, the eyes are full of that him (her), everything is so beautiful, after living together for a period of time, suddenly find that he (she) is not as good as he imagined, the shortcomings are exposed little by little, and since then quarrels and suspicions. came as promised, and in the end, this relationship ended without a hitch.
Happiness is actually very simple, that is, each maintains its own preferences, and in love and marriage, many times it is not a question of right and wrong, but a matter of tolerance and understanding. A good marriage is never about transforming each other, but about accommodating each other, tolerating each other, respecting the differences of both parties, and perfecting each other to become a better version of themselves.
People who are too controlling will not be able to achieve happiness in the end, Master Hongyi said: "Origin, I see you in the crowd, Fate, I see you in the crowd." If the obsession is too deep, it will eventually be like quicksand and all the plates will be lost.
A good partner is not to forcibly control the other party, but to influence the other party from their own habits and qualities, from words and deeds to practice their responsibilities to the family, to influence the other party's bad habits and style, to purify the social circle around them, to set an example and standards for the next generation, and strive to strive for better goals.
Marriage is self-restraint
From the beginning, love was a romantic thing, while marriage was a solemn thing.
Although we can have many choices at the beginning of love, but in the end it is only the one who does not hesitate despite the opposition of family and friends, like a moth to a fire, the biggest difference between marriage and love is that the essence of marriage is responsibility and responsibility, and love is to follow the joy of one's heart.
A woman who can cook can't wait for her husband who comes home, but her husband who comes home doesn't have a woman who can cook, as if there are not so many wishful things in life.
Mr. Liu of Company A entered the palace of marriage with the blessing of relatives and friends, Mr. Liu, like most young people, is full of dreams and pursuits for life, driven by dreams, Mr. Liu is conscientious and conscientious, and soon has a certain foundation in the company, and the family life is happy at the beginning, and the days of family harmony do not last long.
The beautiful wife has many suitors in the company, the wife shows off the suitor's sweet words to herself in front of Mr. Liu, and finally one day the wife and the company's colleagues went on a business trip, after the two of them drank a little wine, the wife did not hold it and had a relationship with the colleague, after which the wife often came home later after work, and the mobile phone often did not let the husband check it, and became more fond of dressing up, and treated the husband at every turn is accusation and irritability, for the wife's series of abnormal behavior, Mr. Liu knows it, But Mr. Liu, who didn't want to lose his family, chose to endure it again and again, believing that his wife would return to the family over time, but it backfired, once a woman betrayed, it was like a horse entering the middle of the road out of control, the vows and the ups and downs that they had gone through together have long been left behind, and the ending can be imagined, perhaps only divorce is the best ending, and the child has become the biggest "payer" of the marriage between the two.
Mr. Liu was in the bar through the glass, constantly recalling the sweet time with his wife at school, how much I wanted to go back to the life I used to have, the love at that time was really pure, how could the current life not be connected with the previous days, tears crossed his face in the corners of his eyes, how did the once incomparably enviable sweet time become a stranger?
If you don't hit the south wall, you can't understand what you did at that time, and when you really hit the south wall, the person who is full of you has already left forever, so convincing a person is never a reason but the south wall.
When getting along with the opposite sex, we must keep the "sense of boundary", once the sense of boundary is lost, the relationship will deteriorate. The lack of a sense of boundaries is disrespectful to your partner and disrespectful to your own feelings.
But everyone will have friends of the opposite sex, and getting along with each other is inevitable, so how to socialize with friends of the opposite sex?
Follow these five points::
1. Respect your partner's feelings.
2. Reduce physical contact.
3. Don't rely on friends of the opposite sex.
Fourth, do not often make inappropriate jokes and chats with the opposite sex.
5. Don't get along with the opposite sex alone.
If you really want to have a happy marriage, you must learn to keep yourself clean, keep your sense of boundaries, and keep your marriage and relationship with your lover
A happy marriage lies in management
With the passage of time, the trivialities and pressures of life are eroding our fragile emotions all the time, and the face that we once loved day after day year year has become unrecognizable in the years of dissuasion.
When people are impulsive and emotional, it is easy to have the idea of divorce, but can they really exchange for their ideal life after divorce? Will a change of partner solve all the problems? However, these are all idealized wishful thinking, without the ability to solve problems, and who to change is basically inseparable from quarrels.
"Marriage is a collaborative relationship, and only by working hard and giving to each other can we run a complete and happy home. ”
It is inevitable for two people to quarrel together, but if the quarrel only cares about venting their emotions, and they can't sit down and communicate calmly after the quarrel, the problem will never be solved, the problem is still there, and the quarrel has become the norm after tea and dinner, marriage and feelings slowly consume each other's enthusiasm in the quarrel, and the two hearts go farther and farther, and finally this marriage comes to an end.
I read a report about the story of the ladder of love: a couple lives in a mountain in Chongqing, the story starts with a child who began to meet because of missing teeth, after the passage of time, overnight they chose to live in seclusion in the mountains in order to avoid the gossip in the village, and lived a life of paradise, After many years, an expedition team found them, and then found a mountain road leading to more than 6,000 steps in the mountain, which was shocking, we not only sighed that the power of love is so great, the young man's name: Liu Guojiang, The bride's name is: Xu Chaoqing, with the death of the two old people one after another, their love story has also surfaced, this ladder of love across the cliff is the continuation of love and the footprints of love.
The details of the story can be searched for literature and ** on the major networks, the love of Liu Guojiang and Xu Chaoqing, the protagonists of the love ladder, from the initial touch to Liu Guojiang's wife in the rock to chisel more than 6,000 love ladders, I believe that they, like most couples, can not avoid all kinds of quarrels in ordinary times, but their love for each other in the ordinary, it is also this affection that makes their love story move each of us.
Affectionate is not as good as long-term companionship, the initial appearance of love is beautiful, after the baptism of the years, love still exists, but in a different way around us, love has gone through thousands of difficulties to be precious.
Final question: If you could do it all over again, would you still choose your current partner?
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