Just a week after the start of school, I received a **:
"Recently, several subject teachers have reported that An An is not serious in class, often wandering in a daze, making all kinds of small movements, affecting other students, you parents should cooperate more with education. ”Hey, it's the same old problem again, ......Last semester, the teacher sued twice in three days, saying An AnPoor self-control。It's not that I don't want to take care of it, it's that I don't know how to manage it at all. When An An came home from school, he always had to be urged three times before he was willing to do his homework, and he didn't pay attention when he sat down. One moment to drink water, one moment to go to the toilet, another moment to pick eraser, another moment to play with nails. I didn't move until I knew it, and it took me until more than 10 o'clock in the evening. I reasoned, scolded and yelled, and tore up my homework book, but the child never listened. I even suspected that the child had ADHD and went to the hospital for a check-up, which showed that there was no problem. All the efforts were put in, but there was no sign that the child was getting better. What's the problem? How can children's grades improve if this continues?
Anxiety doesn't solve the problem, I can only take the initiative to find a solution. Find materials, read books, and listen to lectures. A quote from Mr. Li Jiashu, an education expert, gave me a reminder. He pointed out -The root cause of a child's inattention is intentional inattention. There are two main types of human attention:Be mindfulwithUnintentional attention。The former requires the elimination of distractions, a certain amount of volitional effort, and conscious attention. The latter, on the other hand, does not require effort and can involuntarily pay attention to something. Here's an example. In class, a student's textbook fell to the ground. Some children will involuntarily look for the voice of the ** and interrupt the learning task. Some children, on the other hand, are undisturbed and able to keep their attention on the textbook. Children with inattentive attention are easily interrupted by unintentional attention, which can lead to inattentiveness. Why is there a significant difference in intentional attention among children of the same age? The answer has to do with the way education is done within the family. 
Poor interaction patterns between parents and children are the root cause of children's poor attention span. One is imperative. This type of parent is very strong in their children's learning and requires their children to do what they want.
The phrase that is often said, "Go and do your homework!" ”
Take out your textbooks and hurry up! ”
I'm in a daze again, give me some attention! ”
Such basic questions are all wrong, can you use dim sum! "Children who passively receive instructions do not have the opportunity to develop their own intentional attention. You may be just about to think when you are interrupted by your parents' reprimand, and your attention becomes distracted. ** will also strengthen the child's heart"Learning = nastythingThis point of view. If you have an aversion to learning, you will naturally not pay attention to it. On reflection, I made this mistake. An An actually likes to study, and it is only when she is promoted to the third grade that more and more problems appear.
At that time, I was anxious about his future, and I was very strict and demanding in my studies. Staring at him every day to write his homework, the stroke order is not right, and the sitting posture is not correct, he will immediately get angry. Under the beating and yelling, the child learns with fear, the brain stops thinking, and it is difficult to concentrate. One is pampering. This type of parent has low requirements for their children, has no rules, and is infinitely indulgent.
For example, when playing a game, you can only play for 30 minutes.
Before the time was over, the child replied, "Give me another 5 minutes to finish the game." ”
When the time comes, the child continues to beg and play for another 10 minutes, and the parents will indulge.
Or promise the child that as long as he finishes his homework, he will be given a material reward.
This practice deprives children of the opportunity to exercise intentional attention and destroys children's intrinsic motivation for learning.
Parents' wrong parenting style can make their children's attention lag behind their peers.
After understanding the reasons, I began to consciously cultivate my child's attention.
The first step is to keep your mouth shut and give your child autonomy.
In the past, when I asked about homework, my children would blow up their hair, and when I mentioned studying, I would be disgusted.
Now I know that my constant reminders are a disguised distraction that greatly disrupts the child's attention.
During this time, I gradually adjusted.
After school, estimate how much time your child will spend based on the amount of homework he does that day.
After consulting with your child, determine the duration, such as half an hour or 1 hour.
During this time, I will not disturb the child and give him full autonomy.
I was worried about whether my child would play all the time. After observing for a few days, I found that without my interference, his small movements were less. Education scholar Yin Jianli said
"A child who does not have the opportunity to exercise self-control cannot learn self-control. ”When children realize that learning is their own business, they are more able to concentrate and work hard to complete it.
The second step is to set the rules and intervene moderately. Giving your child space doesn't mean letting it go.
Those children who are extremely focused need the guidance of their parents to train them. Parents can intervene moderately to help their children establish good habits.
For example, writing homework. The child is in a daze all the time, or there are constant small movements, and he cannot concentrate.
At this time, it is necessary to guide, remember to control your emotions, do not reprimand, but ask:
"What's wrong? Do you need help with a problem that you don't know how to do? ”Draw your child's attention to learning and encourage them:
"Mom, see you've written so much, I'm sure you'll be able to finish it soon! ”Children will be more engaged when they have confidence in their learning tasks.
The third step is to create a home environment that is conducive to concentration.
Children are products of their environment.
If the home environment is messy and noisy, the child's attention can be easily distracted. Therefore, when An An was studying, An An's father and I would also study quietly next to me. On the one hand, it has achieved leading by example, and on the other hand, it has also created a good learning atmosphere. At the same time, make sure your child has enough time to sleep and exercise. Senior Attention Trainer Liu Hui mentioned"Sleep Method".with"Exercise Method"., which is very helpful for cultivating children's attention. Montessori once said:"The best way to give your child a learning method is to let him concentrate on learning。"Help children develop good study habits, and education will become easier and less effort-saving.
No habit can be formed in one day, and concentration is even more so, which requires our parents to adjust the wrong parenting style, and even more importantly, to learn the correct cultivation method.