On September 15, 1995, a death occurred in an apartment on a street in Los Angeles, USA. After receiving the alarm, the police immediately rushed to the scene, but they were stunned by the sight before them: the apartment was empty, there was neither furniture nor bed, and on the floor lay a thin woman in a cheongsam, covered only with a thin blanket, and died in a desolate state.
Luckily, the deceased's documents were in his handbag. When the police conducted an inspection, they learned that the woman who collapsed in the apartment turned out to be the famous talented Zhang Ailing.
The once beautiful talented woman actually passed away in this way, which makes people wonder, what did she go through?
It is unimaginable that the talented female writer Zhang Ailing, in her later years, was not immersed in creation and research, nor did she travel to famous mountains and rivers to enjoy glory and wealth, but fought hard against a tenacious "lice".
In the past three and a half years, Zhang Ailing has to move almost once a week, and sometimes even rushes to see a doctor in the afternoon just after moving in the morning. She was suffering from a mental disorder, believing that there was a "lice" in her home that originated in South America, which was almost imperceptible to the naked eye but had a tenacious vitality.
No matter how she escaped, how she moved, those "lice" followed her like a shadow. However, Zhang Ailing's close friend Lin Shitong claimed that Zhang Ailing's home did not actually have any "South American lice".
Although some people have tried, they can't do it "like a shadow", because Zhang Ailing has moved hundreds of times because of ** itching. Her friend Song Qi took her to the doctor, only to find out that she didn't really have lice.
However, in Zhang Ailing's subconscious, the reason for her itching and unbearable is caused by "lice". Eileen Chang's relationship with "lice" may date back to when she was 17 years old.
At that time, Zhang Ailing was in the prime of her youth, and she wrote such a profound sentence: "Life is a beautiful robe, crawling with lice." She seems to have seen through the true face of the men and women in the world early, the essence of their hidden under the gorgeous appearance, and at the same time saw the tiny and greedy "lice" lurking in their souls, these "lice" quietly gnawed at the truth and goodness.
They can't resist and can only watch these "lice" multiply, spread, and eventually eat away at life little by little. This is like Zhang Ailing herself, although she seems to be prosperous, she is tormented inside.
The misfortune of Zhang Ailing's childhood experience made her bury "lice" in her heart, making her become impatient, noble and sophisticated in the process of growing up. Although she does not have enough strength to defeat these "lice", she has been trying to get rid of their effects.
In her later years, she even tried to escape their entanglement by moving. However, each blow made the "lice" lurking deep inside her clearer, and she could never get rid of them.
In the last months of her life, she even mentioned to her friend Lin Shitong that she wanted to move to the desert, hoping to get rid of these "lice" there. However, until her death, these "lice" never left her, and as a sentence she wrote when she was seventeen years old, the "beautiful robe" would eventually be devoured by the "lice".
For a writer, it seems that a bumpy upbringing is essential. As Hemingway said, his own childhood was not a happy one. Similarly, Eileen Chang's childhood was unfortunate, her father was a spendthrift and a violent personality, and her mother was a new-style educated woman who had studied abroad.
Such a family background and experience have undoubtedly had a profound impact on Zhang Ailing's creation.
Under the pressure of the family, the two reluctantly got married, and the emotional foundation was weak. After marriage, conflicts and quarrels are frequent. Due to a disagreement, the couple eventually chose to divorce. Mother Huang Yifan left again in order to study abroad, leaving the young Zhang Ailing alone in a cold family environment.
Subsequently, Zhang Tingzhong found a stepmother for her, this woman is a friend of Lu Xiaoman and also loves to smoke. Zhang Ailing is very disgusted with this kind of person, so she has a tense relationship with her stepmother.
Her stepmother saw her as a thorn in her side and often found excuses to beat her. Once, without the consent of her family, Zhang Ailing went to live with her mother Huang Yifan for a few days, but when she came back, she was sued by her stepmother first, saying that she was beating people.
Hopefully a bomb will drop at home, even if it will be killed with them. However, fortunately, the bomb did not fall, and my daughter finally escaped the catastrophe after more than half a year of illness.
On that cold winter night, Zhang Ailing took advantage of the lack of attention from the patrol and resolutely escaped from the hellish home. She sprinted through the snow, the howling cold wind was bitingly cold, but she felt the sweetness of freedom that she had not felt for a long time.
She came to Shanghai to join her biological mother Huang Yifan, although she was looking forward to getting her mother's love, but the reality once again made her understand her innocence. Although her mother was not close to her, at least her mother stopped beating her and provided financial support for her studies and life.
With the encouragement of her mother, Zhang Ailing was admitted to the University of London with excellent grades. However, the impact of the war caused the University of London to suspend enrollment in China, and all students admitted to the University of London were transferred to the University of Hong Kong.
Zhang Ailing, who was only 19 years old, embarked on the road to study in Hong Kong alone.
The war spread to Hong Kong, forcing schools to close, and Zhang Ailing's path to education was blocked, and she returned to Shanghai again. She longed to continue her education, but her mother's new romance left her stranded and unable to secure funds to study.
At this difficult moment, Zhang Ailing asked her father for help, and to her surprise, Zhang Tingzhong did not refuse this time, although he gave her some funds and disappeared. Despite this, Zhang Ailing still failed to complete her studies, and in order to make ends meet, she began to use her writing talents, touching countless readers with words and depicting heart-warming feelings between men and women.
In 1943, her first ** "The First Incense" caused a sensation and received widespread attention as soon as it was published. Subsequently, she created a series of masterpieces, such as "Love in a Fallen City" and "Heart Sutra", and became a bright star in the literary world.
Zhang Ailing's talent not only brought her fame and wealth, but also allowed her to experience a relationship that was as low as dust. In Sanmao's film "Rolling Red Dust", a pair of men and women who are deeply in love but suffer a lot during the war period are depicted.
The real prototype of this movie is based on the love story between Zhang Ailing and the big traitor Hu Lancheng. Zhang Ailing rose to prominence in the literary world with "The First Incense", but what really caught Hu Lancheng's attention was her other work "Blockade".
When I first read this article, Hu Lan's achievements were extremely shocking. After reading it in one go, he was amazed again and again, praising the author for not only having smooth writing, but also having a very high literary quality.
Hu Lancheng fell in love with Zhang Ailing at first sight, so he offered to visit. However, Zhang Ailing did not immediately agree, which made Hu Lancheng feel a little lost. However, only one day later, Zhang Ailing came to visit Hu Lancheng.
When Hu Lancheng saw Zhang Ailing, he was deeply attracted by her charm, which not only came from her young and beautiful appearance, but also from the trembling in the depths of her soul.
The two talked for 5 hours, and Hu Lancheng expressed his opinion on Zhang Ailing's work, and his insights surprised Zhang Ailing. She realized that the 38-year-old middle-aged man in front of her was not only romantic, but also understood her very well, he understood her work, and understood her heart.
Hu Lancheng's sweet words made Zhang Ailing's heart gradually open, and the feelings between them also quietly sprouted in an encounter. Zhang Ailing once wrote in "Love": "Among thousands of people, it is ...... to meet the people you meet."Not one step earlier, not one step later, just caught up. ”
In Eileen Chang's dictionary of love, love often stems from a chance encounter, flowing with a touch of melancholy and romance. Her encounter with Hu Lancheng perfectly interprets her understanding of love.
At first, they admired each other, and over time, this affection gradually sublimated into deep love. However, this love is difficult to make public, not only because Hu Lancheng already has a family, but also because Zhang Ailing is unwilling to make it public.
It was enough for her to feel the joy of her lover and a moment of eternity. Zhang Ailing's view of love may come from her unfortunate childhood, she did not feel the warmth of being loved since she was a child, so that she would lose herself when she got a little love.
The biggest bond between Zhang Ailing and Hu Lancheng is mutual understanding and appreciation. Because you understand, you understand; Because we understand, we are compassionate. Hu Lancheng understands Zhang Ailing's pain, and this "understanding" makes her heart move.
In October 1944, Hu Lancheng divorced his wife, which gave him a new beginning in his love with Zhang Ailing - marriage. At that time, Zhang Ailing was 23 years old and Hu Lancheng was 38 years old, and they became partners in each other's lives with a marriage letter.
Hu Lancheng made a promise on the marriage book that "I wish the years are quiet and the present world is stable", which is exactly the favor that Zhang Ailing dreams of. Therefore, she devoted herself to this relationship without hesitation, and even did not hesitate to accompany Hu Lancheng to the dinner in the turbulent times.
She doesn't care about politics, but she is obsessed with the pursuit of love, as long as Hu Lancheng treats her sincerely, she is willing to put all the gossip behind her. After marriage, their lives were once full of happiness, and Zhang Ailing's creative career also entered the ** period.
However, happiness is always short-lived, and with the fall of Japan in China, Hu's situation has become increasingly precarious.
After the victory of the Anti-Japanese War in 1945, Hu Lancheng fled because he was wanted, not only did he change his name and surname, but he did not even leave any clues to his former lover Zhang Ailing. However, Zhang Ailing still found him through various means.
Hu Lancheng, who saw his former lover, did not show joy, but angrily blamed her for her sudden visit. The reason is not anything else, just because Hu Lancheng betrayed her and married a woman named Fan Xiumei.
This is not the first time this has happened, as early as the end of 1944, when Hu Lancheng fled to Wuhan, he had a relationship with a 17-year-old Zhou surnamed **, and even held a wedding, completely forgetting the existence of Zhang Ailing.
It wasn't until he returned to Shanghai that Hu Lancheng confessed his affair with Xiao Zhou to Zhang Ailing. Although Zhang Ailing was shocked and heartbroken, she chose to forgive Hu Lancheng, however, this betrayal broke her heart.
After saying goodbye to the two, Zhang Ailing returned to Shanghai and took a year to let go of this relationship.
Eileen Chang is a strong-willed woman. In 1947, she resolutely wrote a farewell letter to Hu Lancheng and attached her own manuscript fee of 300,000 yuan, and since then her life has begun to take another path.
In 1952, Eileen Chang packed her bags and crossed the ocean alone to the United States to begin her writing career. However, in this strange country, it didn't go so well for her.
Her works have suffered a devastating blow in the United States, and one work after another has been rejected by publishers, which makes Zhang feel very lost. At this time, she wrote to ask for help, and met her second husband, Laiya, in the art camp.
Lai Ya is also a writer, and unlike Zhang Ailing, who likes to be alone, Lai Ya, who is romantic by nature, likes to live a free life. However, Eileen Chang did not give up because of this, she stuck to her dream of writing, and eventually gained wide recognition in the American literary world.
He longed to travel around the world, pursue the enjoyment of life, and once the manuscript fee was paid, he immediately put it into action. However, the hardships of life and each other's downfall make them attract each other and warm each other.
When Zhang Ailing became pregnant with a child, Lai Ya realized that her only responsibility was to marry her. But as a 65-year-old, he didn't want to take on the responsibility of raising a baby anymore.
Zhang Ailing understood his thoughts and chose to give up the child and marry Lai Ya. However, this brief happy time came to an abrupt end when Laia suddenly collapsed in bed.
In order to raise money for her husband's medical expenses, she desperately longs for her ** to be published.
Eileen Chang's writing career has not been smooth sailing. Her ** "Yangge" did not sell well, and the royalties of "Pink Tears" were also delayed. In order to make ends meet, she accepted an invitation from her friend Song Qi to write a script for a Hong Kong film company.
She calculates the fee for each chapter she completes to determine if she's spending more than she budgets. Her income situation has a direct impact on her mood. In 1960, she decided to return to Taiwan to continue writing "Young Marshal".
However, the news of Raiya's stroke came again, and she no longer had enough money to return to the United States to take care of him. Therefore, she went to Hong Kong to write the script of "Dream of Red Mansions", and only after completing the script could she get the manuscript fee.
However, the script was still being revised, and she did not receive the expected payment.
Zhang Ailing returned to the United States to continue her affectionate life with Lai Ya. The hardships of life could not break their love, but death did. In 1967, at the age of 76, Laiya exhausted his vitality and went to the paradise he had always longed for.
This time, Zhang Ailing is once again lonely in life. She began to be afraid of socializing, and only Lin Shitong and Song Qi became her friends, and she lost contact with the rest of the people.
Zhang Ailing devoted the rest of her energy to writing, and one after another excellent works like "Lust and Caution" were born one after another. In her later years, Zhang Ailing was not only lonely, but also suffered from ** disease, and always felt that there were "lice" at home, so she kept moving, just to get rid of those terrible things.
Even though she no longer has to worry about her livelihood, she still feels lonely. Due to frequent moves, she has no furniture in her house, and even the furniture she buys is quickly discarded.
Zhang Ailing, the death of this talented woman, makes people sigh at the impermanence of life. She passed away quietly and was not found until seven days later, when her will was ready, with a few short words: "Let no one see my body, cremate it immediately."
Don't hold any funeral and scatter the ashes in an open and empty place. All the remaining property was left to Song Qi and his wife. Perhaps, she had foreseen that her lonely old age might be forgotten, so she chose not to let anyone see her remains, so she left with dignity.
Zhang Ailing's life is full of legends, but her death is so bleak that people can't help but feel sorry for this talented woman.