It may hurt you more if your parents ignore you for several days, or if your parents taunt you in vicious language, than if you are beaten by your parents.
Emotional and verbal abuse is a form of abuse that narcissistic abusive parents more often use, but the harmfulness of this approach is easily ignored and rationalized.
The article "How to Heal from Verbal and Emotional Abuse" written by Lana Adler provides a detailed explanation of the phenomenon of emotional and verbal abuse that occurs in the family, and proposes 7 steps to self-abuse, which is worth reading.
If you've been verbally or emotionally abused, you may be wondering: How do I ** and come out of the shadows?
It's not easy because the trauma caused by emotional abuse is invisible.
"There is no taut scar tissue, no yellowing and bruises waiting to heal, and no open wounds to point out. Although emotional trauma is invisible and intangible, it is a very harmful form of abuse. So writes Gregory Jantz in his book The Scars of Emotional Abuse.
Due to"Invisibility", trauma caused by emotional or verbal abuse may go unrecognized and healed for years, especially when it occurs in childhood.
Even when people are aware of abuse, they tend to hide it because of the shame and guilt it is mixed with.
Ignoring these traumas can have devastating consequences for your self-esteem, relationships, mental health, and more. Not to mention, they may also become:"Addiction"、"Wrong choice"、"Laziness"and other self-sabotaging behaviors.
Then, along the course of life, we can all encounter verbal and emotional abuse, which can often be deeply distressing and helpless. However, healing is not impossible, as long as we are willing to face up to the problem and actively seek solutions. Below, I'll share some tips and strategies for healing from verbal and emotional abuse.
First and foremost, it's important to recognize and accept your feelings. When we experience verbal and emotional abuse, we tend to feel frustrated, angry, have low self-esteem, and feel helpless. These emotions are normal reactions, and we don't need to feel ashamed or blame ourselves for them. We need to be brave enough to face our feelings, allow ourselves to feel pain, and seek appropriate ways to express and deal with those emotions.
Second, it's also important to seek out a support network. Sharing our experiences and feelings with close friends, family members or a professional counsellor can help us find emotional support and comfort. Their understanding and encouragement can help us gradually get out of the gloom and regain our confidence and courage. At the same time, joining a support group or community and connecting with others who have been going through similar experiences can also make us feel cared for and supported by each other.
In the process of seeking support, it is also essential to establish self-protection mechanisms. We need to learn to set boundaries and avoid continuing to struggle with the abuser. This could mean staying away from people or circumstances that have caused us harm, or learning to protect ourselves when attacked. At the same time, we must also learn to listen to our inner voice, pay attention to our own needs and feelings, and no longer let external evaluations and expectations dictate our behavior.
In addition to this, it is also very important to develop the ability of self-care and self-healing. We need to learn to focus on our physical and mental health, and improve our resilience through a healthy lifestyle, good self-care and positive mental adjustment. This may include maintaining a good sleep routine, eating a balanced diet, exercising moderately, and learning relaxation and stress reduction techniques.
At the same time, we also need to learn to forgive and let go. Forgiveness does not mean forgetting or accepting the abuser's actions, but rather releasing resentment and anger within one's own inner peace and health. Through forgiveness, we are able to lighten our psychological burden and look forward better. Of course, forgiveness is a long and difficult process, and we may need to seek professional counseling to help us achieve it step by step.
Finally, we need to believe in our ability to heal from verbal and emotional abuse. This process may be long and difficult, but as long as we persevere, we will be able to get out of the haze and regain the joy and fulfillment of life. We need to believe in our own worth and strength, and be brave enough to pursue our dreams and goals.
In conclusion, healing from verbal and emotional abuse takes time and effort. We need to face up to our feelings, seek support networks, build self-protection mechanisms, develop the ability to care for and heal, learn to forgive and let go, and believe in our own abilities and worth. Only in this way can we truly come out of the pain of the past and embrace a better future.