Author: Yu Yichen.
When I swiped Zhihu, I saw a Q&A with more than 10 million views:
How should the child choose between a doctor's degree, an annual salary of 650,000 yuan for Huawei, and an annual salary of 180,000 yuan for civil servants? ”
Bottom, @牛小顿说出了无数人的心声:
"In our era, we are always weighing the pros and cons, thinking about the odds, suffering from gains and losses, and rarely asking what we like? What do you want? What is it suitable for?Under the involution, how to play the bad cards has become everyone's "self-cultivation".It seems that the most important thing is not to be a human being, but not to suffer, not to fail, and not to take detours.
From a very young age, children can't have ideas, and they hold back when they have ideas; You can't have hobbies, you can talk about being admitted to college if you have hobbies; There can be no difference, and if there is a difference, change it; There can be no attempts, and failure cannot be afforded. ”
Looking around, countless people are pursuing an "efficient" life and a standardized life
Efficient study, efficient graduation, efficient work, efficient marriage and childbirth.
We are "urged" to move forward, for fear that if we slow down, we will be ridiculed in rounds:
Admitted to graduate school at the age of 26, graduated at the age of 29 without a partner and no job, is it a failure? ”
We didn't dare to look back, for fear of being "taken advantage of" and run ahead.
We live too "efficiently" and so tired that we are about to suffocate and know nothing.
In "Round Table Pie", Dou Wentao sighed:
"I now think that China is pathologically efficient, and this kind of high makes me think they are a little panicked. ”
Because this kind of high efficiency is not a "voluntary" choice at all, but a survival strategy that cannot be used.
Once, Dou Wentao ordered a takeaway, and after waiting for a long time, he clicked the button to urge the meal.
As a result, as soon as the takeaway brother arrived, he kept apologizing:
"I'm sorry, I'm late in this traffic jam today. I rushed desperately, I desperately rushed. ”Dou Wentao said, "It's okay, it's okay, you can go." ”
But the takeaway guy still said "I'm sorry" and cried as he spoke.
Dou Wentao didn't understand it, "Why is this, I don't blame you." ”
When I asked, I found out that he inadvertently pressed the reminder button, and the takeaway brother was gone for 300 yuan, so he had to help him cancel it, and he didn't do it in vain this day.
After listening to this, Chen Danqing on the side kept shaking his head and sighing:
It's twisted, it's scary. ”
When efficiency becomes the measure of everything, utilitarianism is inflated like never before.
Success for the sake of being fast, success for the sake of success.
As for the process, no one cares.
This creates a huge "sieve" that sieves out those who run slower.
And where do these people go?
Banyuetan magazine did a survey and found a peculiar group called "urban squatters".
"Different from the 'gnawing old people' and 'squatting people', the urban 'squatting people' specifically refer to young people who have a 'good hand' of cards and are expected to be high, but they are willing to be the 'best people' in the society. ”Xiaoxing graduated from a 985 university, but did not enter the "big factory" and realized the desire of "graduation is the peak".
On the contrary, after she couldn't find her dream job, she took the initiative to flee the army of involution:
As long as it doesn't cost money, no one forces me to work. ”
For her, the need to save money to buy a car and a house was actually imposed on her by the outside world.
"Ask yourself", she doesn't want to be a "house slave".
Although the family would be happy that way, she would not be happy.
When she understood this, the motivation to "make a lot of money" disappeared, the anxiety disappeared, and the whole person was very relaxed.
Xiaoxing's desire to consume is very low, 20,000 yuan a year is enough to spend, so he doesn't have to live a 996 life, leaving a lot of time to do what he likes and "waste time" luxuriously.
As Li Yuansheng wrote in his poem, "Until all things that have been wasted grow thin wings behind us." ”
It is not so much that the "urban squatters" are rotten, it is better to say that they are living a life that is not coerced by external desires.
They take the initiative to "press" the fast-forward button of life and rethink the meaning of life.
On Douban, there is a group called "985 Waste Introduction Group", and you can see all kinds of reflections on "waste":
Ever since I was a child, I didn't understand the word 'fight', let alone the concept of 'fighting for xxx'. ”
I feel like I'm suffocated by my academic qualifications. ”
How should ordinary people live? ”
Do I have to use what I learn? ”
And they have to find the answers to these questions on their own.
When an "urban squat" type of "waste", the most difficult thing is to overcome one's own psychological barriers.
Because "shameful to be rotten" has long been engraved into everyone's genes.
A lot of people are oscillating between pendulum and involution.
As a result, the "performance art" of "pretending to go to work" came into being.
There is a very popular post on Tianya, called "Record every day of pretending to go to work until the day it is exposed".
The opening introduction is very candid:
"90 years of **, just after the 30th birthday, severely obese, unmarried, deeply involved in online loans, heavy lying, since mid-December last year, there has been no job, deceived the family to take the civil service test for half a year, recently my father urged to find a job, now pretend to go out to work every day, I used to see people who pretended to go to work in the book, I felt very incomprehensible, but now I have become such a person, and I don't know when I can mix, so I want to record, in the quagmire, if I can get up, It's also interesting to look back, if you can't get up, then you can't get up. ”It looks very sad, but there is a sense of "relief":
Countless people are vying to get on the "highway", but she voluntarily "derails" and lives a non-"mainstream" life.
The landlord has studied in the UK, worked as a teacher, created a career, and has a good life experience, but he gave up an "inspirational" life in the "year of establishment", pretending to go to work every day without telling his parents, pretending to have "business" to do.
Sometimes I go to the cinema, sometimes I am paralyzed in a hotel, sometimes I go to the night market, sometimes I stay in a bookstore, sometimes I go to a tea room to play mahjong, sometimes I wander the streets.
During this period, she passed the public examination, but failed.
She didn't think it was a big deal, but her mother yelled at her and tried to "wake her up".
What the hell are you going to do? ”
The mother kept introducing her to the object and often scolded her, in order to hope that her daughter would know her mistake and stop the precipice.
Perhaps, it was the endless "expectations" of her parents that made her suddenly "rebellious" when she was 30 years old.
She has never understood why someone should play games with different levels and why life must be "successful".
All kinds of confusion deepened her depression.
Once, she drank late into the night and committed suicide by swallowing sleeping pills.
The next day, the police came and wanted to take her to gastric lavage.
As for the mother, she didn't care about her daughter's pain, but kept scolding, saying that she had embarrassed her.
The outrageous thing is that after washing the stomach, the mother is still scolding.
At that moment, the landlord collapsed and shouted:
"I'm just fat, I just can't get married, I have contact with boys, and I won't marry me. ”No one is born "depressed", but after being "hammered" by the outside world again and again, he becomes "unmotivated", and the landlord is the same.
It's not so much that she's angry, it's that she's looking for a thousand possibilities in life.
It's just that I didn't get the understanding and respect of my parents.
That's what she was taught from a young age:
Don't be confused, don't hesitate, don't stop until your heart stops.
Romain Rolland said something very heartbreaking:
"Most people die at the age of twenty or thirty, because beyond that age they are only a shadow of themselves, and the rest of their lives are spent imitating themselves, day after day, more mechanical, more pretentious, repeating what they have done, what they think, what they love and hate. ”From this point of view, landlords are much braver than most.
Many people spend their entire lives trapped in a "program" called "step-by-step".
The passion in my heart is slowly extinguished, and I dare not make any attempts, for fear that the second half of my life will go wrong.
This kind of life is a success in the eyes of others, but a failure for yourself.
Feeling unwilling, they began their journey of "rebellion".
There is a topic on Douban, called "The 'rebellious period' after the age of thirty".
Hundreds of people have left their rebellious experiences here.
When someone was 30 years old, he saved 250,000 yuan in cash and planned to use it to buy a house, but he opened a "Borges Poetry Library" in Yuelu Mountain.
Someone did freelancing at the age of 30, divorced at the age of 31, succeeded, and turned himself and his children into a junior model.
There are also people who are unmarried at the age of 30, have no regular income, but do not panic at all, backpacking for more than three years, going as far north as Iceland and walking to the southernmost lighthouse in the world.
It has been said, "The meaning of life is to create value." ”
So, the question is, who defines what value is?
Is it someone you love, or your elders, or a netizen who likes to guide other people's lives?
In my opinion, none of them are at all.
Otherwise, there would be no word for "rebellion".
The meaning of many people's lives is nothing more than to gain the approval of their parents, relatives and friends, and society.
So I was overwhelmed by mortgages and car loans, and my fear of getting married and having children reached the extreme.
That's where the most ridiculous thing goes.
When can we gain our own identity, can we find a sense of self-worth.
At that time, the word "burnout" will not be in the dictionary of life.