Your dress, revealing your fears

A year ago, I reconciled with a friend who had been off for a few years, and she re-added my WeChat, and said after seeing my ** and homemade little **:

It feels like you've changed a lot, especially when you dress and match, it's a bit like you've grown up, and you seem to be able to show your charm. ”

After hearing her feedback, I thought back to the changes in my dressing style over the years.

1. At first, my whole person looked like an early Ayilian style (a little earthy).

Although I feel that I am already cleaning up very delicately, and every time I go to the mall, I will choose clothes very carefully, but the effect is not very good.

2. Later, I began to pay attention to fashion*** It helped me a lot at that time, and I watched it for about 3 months.

Learn a little bit about dressing every day, buy clothes the way the blogger says, such as everyone needs a white shirt, how to match the basics, understand your figure, etc.

However, at that time, I was still relatively young, and that number was also aimed at women with income in the workplace, so I bought myself a lot of suits, which didn't suit me very well, and I had the feeling of wearing someone else's clothes.

3. After accumulating a little knowledge about collocation, I found that I have a soft spot for several sets of collocation, one of which is gothic style.

At that time, I was very fond of the black lace dress, which had the feeling of an English castle vampire, and whenever I wore this outfit, I immediately felt like I was walking in the wind.

Once a guy on a TV show found a girl he liked, this girl was wearing a gothic style, and she also wore a very iconic skull ring, I thought that girl was quite attractive.

4. Later, I fell in love. Once, I was wearing a long black dress and was about to go out with my boyfriend, and he looked at me and said, "Are we going to prom?" It's easy to change to another one.

Since then, I've gone from gothic to cheerleading girly and going the sweet and playful route. Because my boyfriend was wearing a T-shirt and jeans at the time, it would be better if we looked at it harmoniously, and I would have dressed more relaxed.

5. Later, we broke up, but I became obsessed with jazz girl style, and I liked sweatshirts and short skirts for ice cream.

Later, I also bought JK and Lolita, and I also tried cheongsam, and I felt that I was on a road of no return, but the feedback from the people around me said that I was getting more and more beautiful.

In fact, in these 5 stages, I went from blind matching at the beginning, to finding a classic matching model, to understanding my body temperament, and finally establishing a style.

This process is very much like a little girl who doesn't know what kind of woman she wants to become, and then sees a beautiful woman and internalizes this beautiful woman in her heart.

It's also like the process of starting out as a small boat floating in the world, and then finding yourself.

Clothes are not just clothes, they express the different states of each of us at the moment, and they are also a projection of our hearts.

Behind your clothes, there are your hopes and fears

We often have this contradictory emotion, reflecting two sides of the same coin.

At work, we desire success and fear success;

Emotionally, when we pursue someone, we are afraid that this person will agree, and at the same time we hope to be rejected in our hearts.

It is a paradoxical feeling that often arises, with a fear of success on the one hand and a desire to fail on the other.

Human beings have many emotions that are opposite, and "crying with joy" is a mixture of joy and sorrow.

There is also my favorite "crying and laughing" in the emoji, which is also a kind of opposite.

Opposite emotions manifest themselves on a face and help us express a lot of mixed emotions.

And a person's clothes will show the self they want others to see, and the self they dare not show.

These two opposing forces allow him to maintain his own style of dressing.

A masculine girl hasn't worn a skirt for a few years, and even though her mom would love her to wear it, she's dressed up cool because she's afraid to wear it.

It turns out that she has always rejected her female side and dared not approach her female side, and it was her inner fear of the female side that allowed her to maintain a handsome and neutral appearance.

I feel the same way.

I could feel that I was dressed sweetly and cutely, probably as a single person trying to attract the opposite sex, but on a deeper level, it was a barrier to my ability to show aggression.

Sweetness gives people the feeling that they are obedient and controllable, which is my protective color all along, and no matter what my own heart is, it seems that I only dare to connect with the world with this appearance.

Or rather, my parents used to accept this attitude only from me. A little further in, my parents only accepted the good side of them.

My own personality is more old and good people most of the time, and it is difficult for me to speak for myself, and it is difficult to say no.

There are some qualities that I have in my heart, but I don't dare to show them.

There is a British proverb,Everyone has a skeleton in their closet. And we don't dare to show the skeleton to others, we only dare to show the opposite of the skeleton to others.

Another female friend of mine, she dresses very a**, can jazz dance, ride a motorcycle.

But once when we had a heart-to-heart conversation, she told me that she felt that ** had always been a knot in her heart, and she looked very **, but she didn't feel ** inside.

As an adolescent, she was always rejected by boys, and she was afraid that men would reject her, so she wanted to maintain her attraction to men at all times.

And she maintains the appearance of ** because she is afraid of being rejected by men, so she asks herself to be attractive to men.

The clothes we wear will tell each other who we are most intuitively

Just like the self you express now, it is the soul of your hope and fear.

in your clothes.

Have your relationships.

Sometimes, clothes represent a kind of interpersonal relationship.

Some people will comment that people who buy luxury goods that they can't afford are too money-worshipping.

In fact, this is not just a form of money worship.

They buy luxury goods because they want to use luxury goods to satisfy a psychological need, and they want to be valued and affirmed by others and envied.

It seems that you are buying expensive clothes, but in fact you are buying an enviable relationship.

In the realm of private feelings, you can try opening your own wardrobe and see what colors have been in your wardrobe the most recently?

For a while, I had only black and white in my closet, and I had a window empty for several years, but then I fell in love and gradually became fond of wearing warm clothes.

Different colors will reflect different emotional states, and the colors you wear regularly are likely to represent your attitude in the relationship.

For example, when I wore black, I was full of frustration and loneliness.

At that time, the darkness not only represented my inner feelings, but also expressed my fear and rejection of others and the world.

Yang Tianzhen said a sentence:

"Shape design is the shortest path for others to understand who you are and what kind of person you are.

When you want to convey this message in a short period of time, what to wear is the fastest, it is the first impression to a person, it is a visual output. ”

Dressing is undoubtedly the best bridge between showing your current self and your ideal self, and it is also the best way for others to know you.

At the end of the day, clothes can change your mood, emotions can change your clothes, and changing clothes also means a change in personality.