As the old saying goes, "Parents love their children, and they have far-reaching plans." ”
Finding a partner is the most important choice in a person's life.
A good partner can make a person, and a bad partner can bring a person down.
When the children are older, when it is the critical time to find a partner for marriage, parents must keep their eyes open and take care of them.
The old attention to the right people is outdated, and now we must understand the "three major effects".
The catfish effect
Be with people who are knowledgeable and motivated, and achieve each other
I often hear people say: "A good marriage is not a one-man show;
Instead, they are each other's crutches and support each other. ”
In 1982, Li Yinhe came to the University of Pittsburgh and began to study for a master's degree and a doctorate.
Two years later, inspired by his wife, Wang also left for Pittsburgh to pursue a master's degree at the same university.
At first, the couple had almost nothing, living on a $400 monthly subsidy from Li Yinhe.
In order to supplement the family, Li Yinhe went to work as a waiter in the restaurant, and Wang Xiaobo washed dishes in the back kitchen.
The two supported each other to complete their studies, during which Wang Xiaobo also created "** Era", which has become famous since then.
The three people closest to you determine the direction of your life.
With motivated people, you will not indulge in slackness, and will work towards a better self.
You will find that a marriage that can stand the test is the unabandonment and dependence of two people, and it is the support and concern for each other.
The butterfly effect
Surround yourself with people who value details and have peace of mind
When Zhou Youguang married Zhang Yunhe, a fortune teller said: You two can't live ten years.
The personalities, hobbies, and living habits of the two are very different.
Zhou Youguang is rational, Zhang Yunhe is emotional; Zhou Youguang likes to drink coffee with milk, Zhang Yunhe likes black tea and old hen soup; Zhou Youguang likes to listen to Western ** and promote Chinese pinyin; Zhang Yunhe likes to listen to Kunqu opera and write old-style poems.
But it is such a couple who have spent 70 years of happiness together until they come to the end of their lives.
Someone asked Zhou Lao, what is the secret of running a marriage?
He thought for a moment and said, "We have to touch cups twice a day, black tea in the morning and coffee in the afternoon."
The two old men called this action "raising the case and raising their eyebrows".
A simple detail of clinking glasses takes care of each other's eating habits and adds a sense of ritual to married life.
Marriage is complicated, and an act of indifference can make it fall apart;
But marriage is also very simple, a little heart-warming detail can make the other half feel sweet and happy.
With someone who pays attention to details, every little thing in life will add points to the marriage.
The Rosenthal effect
Surround yourself with people who appreciate you and nourish life
Lin Yutang said: "Marriage is like a carved ship, depending on how you appreciate it and how you control it." ”
Among the ** couples, Hu Shi and Jiang Dongxiu have always been an eye-catching couple.
Hu Shi is a famous talent at home and abroad, but Jiang Dongxiu is a country woman with small feet.
Two people who seem to be out of place, but under the arrangement of their parents, they spend their lives gracefully.
If you want to ask the secret of the love between the two, you probably can't do without two words: appreciation.
Jiang Dongxiu is not beautiful, her face is round, but Hu Shi said: "She is very virtuous and good at housework." ”
Jiang Dongxiu has never gone to school and doesn't know a few big characters, but Hu Shi said: "She has a low culture, but she loves to learn." ”
Jiang Dongxiu likes to play mahjong and always loses money, but Hu Shi said: "She is very kind and knows how to fight righteousness and squander money." ”
Between husband and wife, the most important thing is to know how to appreciate and praise.
Women want to be favored, men want to be favored, and happy marriages are all "boasted".
Only by being with people who appreciate you can you be nourished and your days more comfortable.