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Low self-esteem
When Li Yijin went to Zhou Zhi's hometown for the first time, because he didn't know Zhou Zhi's life experience, he committed a taboo, and was finally kicked out of the house by his thoughtful grandparents.
This is the first time that Li Yijin went against her mother's wishes and went to Zhou's hometown for the New Year.
From the brazier to ward off evil spirits as soon as he entered the door to drinking chicken blood water, Li Yijin's bottom line was provoked by Zhou Zhi's family again and again.
At this time, Zhou Wei did not show his tough attitude to help Li Yijin face the misdeeds of his grandparents.
In the end, he let his family drive Li Yijin out of the house.
Li Yijin, who was kicked out of the house, did not receive thoughtful messages and **, which made her disappointed.
So the two eventually broke up.
In the original book, it is said that Li Yijin and Zhou Zhi have known each other for 12 years and have known each other for 8 years, but the relationship between the two is not as good as they imagined.
Since he was a child, he has low self-esteem because of his thoughtful background, and he is cowardly under the strong education of his grandparents.
In the face of his grandparents' bullying of Li Yijin, he did not dare to disobey.
Swing rotten
After these things happened, Li Yijin returned home in a fit of rage, and even refused to contact Zhou You.
But Zhou Dao did not apologize to Li Yijin, and after returning to Shanghai, he played games, drank alcohol, and messed up every day.
Zhou Yu is such a person, he has a father who is an alcoholic and domestic violence since he was a child, and a mother who often quarrels with his father.
His childhood was turbulent, and no one taught him how to get through the gloom of life, and he didn't know how to communicate with lovers.
After his father's death and his mother went to prison, he grew up under the tutelage of his grandparents, and the most he wanted to do was to escape from this devastated home.
The reason why Li Yijin likes to be thoughtful is because they have the same disease, and they experienced similar things in their childhood, and they have feelings of sympathy for each other.
Li Yijin's parents are not in a good relationship, her father is indifferent, her mother is controlling, she is a child who is tortured by the family all the time.
And thoughtfulness too.
Two people with the same frequency can best understand and even empathize with each other.
Although the two have similar fates, their personalities have their own flaws.
Li Yijin longs for thoughtful redemption for himself, but thoughtful also hopes for Li Yijin's redemption.
But two people who have been hurt can only understand each other, and salvation is still a bit far away for them.
Once in "Wonderful Sayings", psychologist Wu Zhihong once said such a paragraph:
Many people attribute all the unsatisfactory, unsatisfactory, and unchangeable faults that they can't get rid of when they grow up to be overcome, and the thresholds that can't be overcome to receive people and things to the original family, is it that serious?
It's serious! The family is the condensation of society, and the person is the condensation of the family.
The reason why we are the way we are is because we are so closely connected to our original family. ”
Satya, a famous American "family master", believes that a person is inextricably linked with his family of origin, and this connection may affect his life.
Li Yijin suffered the inferiority complex and pain brought to her by her original family, and Zhou Yu also suffered the inferiority complex and pain brought to him by her original family.
Two gloomy hearts, what is missing is sunshine in the face of difficulties.
Whenever there are difficulties in life that need to be solved by two people, the two twisted people will be full of quarrels and insecurity because they are not capable of facing the difficulties.
In my opinion, Zhou Dao and Li Yijin are both cowards, Zhou Zhi is cowardly in the face of strong grandparents, and Li Yijin is also cowardly in the face of strong mothers, and this cowardice is difficult to change.
What happens to two cowardly people together?
Although in the play, Li Yijin plucked up the courage to make changes, she made changes in her image in order to fight against her mother, and even challenged her mother to insist on being with Zhou.
And Zhou Dao, in order to be with Li Yijin, also mustered up the courage to resist his grandparents' control over him.
In the end, the two managed to get together.
But in real life, it is difficult for Li Yijin to get her mother's blessing, because most parents will not admit their mistakes, and they will not tolerate their daughter to jump into the fire pit.
The two continue to break off the mother-daughter relationship, which is already the best ending.
And he doesn't want to be thoughtful like his father, he will always have the shadow of his father, which is a fact that he can't refuse in his genes.
Once two people get married and live a life, then the shortcomings in their character will be exposed from moment to moment, and eventually stifle their love.
Meng Yunqing was the first rebel of the Meng family, she hid from her parents, stole the household registration book, married Tao Dalei without scruples, and finally faced the end of divorce.
How heroic she was back then, how much she regretted it in middle age.
Because of this marriage, she and Tao Dalei often quarreled, and finally woke up because of a serious illness.
A good marriage can reduce the pain of life, while a bad marriage is a chronic poison, and you will eventually be bruised by this marriage.
Zhou Yu himself is a man covered in bruises, his childhood experience has left his soul full of holes, and what he needs is a positive and sunny lover.
This healthy lover is capable of saving him from the fire pit, and she also has the ability to ** his trauma in the heart.
And Li Yijin is also a person with bruises all over her body, her psychological trauma is no lighter than thoughtfulness, and she also needs a warm and positive person to take her out.
But this man is not thoughtful.
In the book "Summer Hill School", there is a passage like this:
A child who is strictly restricted, rigidly trained, and repressed is an unfree child who can be seen in any corner of the world. He lives across the street; As a child, I sat in front of that cold desk in a lifeless school all day, and later sat at a more boring desk or a cold bench in a factory.
He was tame, obedient to orders, afraid of criticism, and at the same time desperately wanted to be a normal and well-behaved person; He did not hesitate to accept everything that was taught to him, and then passed on his knots, fears, and frustrations to his children. ”
In fact, in the face of such people, their fears, frustrations, and knots will be passed on not only to their children, but also to all family members in the family.
Family members can also be traumatized because of him.
This is what psychology says, if there is one member of the family who is emotionally unstable, depressed, or anxious, it will affect the mental health of the other people.
All in all, if you return to reality, thoughtfulness is not a good match for Li Yijin.
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