In the upper right corner of the screen, you can connect more deeply with the world with a single tap. At this moment, I am in the middle of an unfinished divorce settlement, and looking back on the past three years, my marriage seems to be a script intertwined with "distant marriage" and "cheating marriage".
My husband and I used to be an enviable couple on college campuses. As the only child in my family, I was pampered by my parents. And he, although he has an adopted brother who has passed away, is also an only child in the family. However, when our parents found out about our relationship, they advised me to dismiss this idea because the distance between the two families required a three-hour high-speed train ride to get there. They are reluctant to marry my precious daughter far away.
But at that time, we were immersed in sweet love, and we could listen to these advices? After graduating, we naturally talked about marriage. However, the moment I actually stepped into real life, I began to slowly realize that something was wrong.
Our family is all in business, and on the surface it seems that the conditions are not bad. But I never knew the real financial situation of his family. At the beginning, my parents considered that I was marrying far away, so they hoped that the man would show a sincere attitude, so they agreed on a bride price of 580,000 yuan. In fact, my parents didn't plan to keep the money, they planned to add the bride price to their own savings and make up 1 million as a companion to marry me.
However, his parents were capricious in this matter. At first, I agreed to this amount, but later I repented and offered to give me a bride price of 1 million, but asked my parents to marry 2 million back. My parents felt that this was disrespectful and calculating to them, and directly refused. Eventually, they reluctantly offered the bride price, but they asked me back. The reason is that the money is all borrowed and needs to be repaid.
Considering that the conditions of my mother's family are relatively good, I didn't think too much about it. But this incident made me start to doubt the real situation of my in-laws' house. The image of affluence they had presented before seemed to be just an elaborate illusion.
Soon after we got married, my husband and I started our journey to get pregnant. He once revealed to me that his parents were cousins getting married. To be on the safe side, I offer to be screened for genetic testing to ensure the health of the next generation. However, this proposal was strongly opposed by the in-laws. They felt like I was questioning their health. The mother-in-law even said angrily: "We are not sick, you are the one who is sick!" Not being able to give birth is your problem! ”
During an argument, I accidentally discovered an amazing secret. My husband had told me that my deceased brother was adopted, but in fact he was the biological son of his in-laws. He died of leukemia, which made me wonder if his death was related to the marriage of close relatives. My in-laws' attitude towards genetic testing and screening also made me feel very uncertain.
In such a family environment, I felt more and more that there was no point in having children. They only cared about whether I could have a healthy child and turned a blind eye to my personal feelings and needs. The mother-in-law even said: "You don't love to give birth, you don't give money when you give birth, and you don't give birth to children, let you be self-reliant!" ”
My husband, on the other hand, is a typical mom boy. He listened to his parents' opinions on everything, and had no opinions of his own at all. Since we got married, he has been working in his own company, while I am working full-time at home to prepare for marriage and pregnancy. Every month, he would give me 20,000 yuan for living expenses, but he never revealed to me about the company's operation.
Until one day, I received a debt collection**. I thought it was a mistake, but my husband came home crying and admitting it. He told me that the company owed nearly $1 million in debt. I was shocked and alien when I heard the news. He explained that the money is used for the company's turnaround operations, as well as our daily living expenses, holiday gifts, and IVF expenses, among other things. He looked helpless and told me the truth, and also tentatively asked my parents if they could help him pay off the debt first. Looking at his appearance, I was in a trance. Doesn't it mean that the family conditions are good? Is this a well-designed **?
After three years of marriage, I feel more and more as if I have jumped into a mystery. My husband's whole family was hiding one thing after another, which made me full of disappointment and despair for this family. I tried my best to climb out of this mystery and get out of that love brain. Thankfully, my parents have always been there for me and have given me support and encouragement. They came to me for the first time to accompany me in the final parting.
Now I am gradually coming out of this failed marriage. Looking back on that experience, I am glad that I was able to wake up in time and face the reality bravely. There may be a long way to go, but I believe that with my parents by my side, I will be able to find my own happiness again.