**10,000 Fans Incentive Plan
When the British Parliament was in session, a member of the parliament was speaking when he saw Churchill shaking his head in disagreement, and said: "I remind you that I am only expressing my opinion." ”
At this time Churchill stood up and said, "I also remind this gentleman that I am just shaking my head." ”
Mayakovsky is the most famous poet of the former Soviet Union, and his speeches are humorous, sharp and witty.
Once, while he was giving a speech, someone suddenly shouted, "I don't understand the joke you're telling." "You're a giraffe! Mayakovsky exclaimed, "Only a giraffe can feel a soaked foot on Monday and a Saturday!" ”
I should remind you, Comrade Mayakovsky," shouted a Humpty Dumpty man who squeezed into the rostrum: "Napoleon famously said that from great to ridiculous, there is only one step!" "Yes, from great to ridiculous, it's only one step. Mayakovsky said as he pointed his finger at himself and the man.
The psalmist then replied, "How much money have you got tonight?" "What does this have to do with you?" You don't pay a penny anyway, and I'm not going to share it with anyone! ”
A note read: "Your poems are so appalling, they are short-lived, they will end tomorrow, you yourself will be forgotten, you will not be immortal." ”
The psalmist replied, "Please, for another thousand years, and then we will talk again!" ”
A note read: "You said that sometimes you should wash away the 'dusty' traditions and habits from yourself, then since you need to wash your face, that is to say, you are also dirty." ”
The psalmist replied, "Then if you don't wash your face, do you think you're clean?" ”
Your poems can't make people boil, they can't make people burn, they can't make people infect. ”
My poems are not the sea, not the furnace, not the plague. ”
Mayakovsky went out wearing a broken hat, and a few loafers laughed at him: "Hey, what's that thing on your head, is it a hat?" ”
The psalmist asked, "What's that thing under your hat?" Is it the head? ”
Once, Picasso was talking to an American GI about painting. The GI frankly told Picasso that he did not like modern paintings, especially abstract paintings, because they were not realistic.
Picasso listened and didn't say anything.
After a few minutes, the GI took out his girlfriend's ** and showed it to Picasso. Picasso took the ** and pretended to be surprised: "Oh my God, is she just so big?" It's so unreal! ”
In the early thirties, Hu Shih taught at Peking University and praised vernacular literature, causing dissatisfaction among some students who only liked classical Chinese and did not like vernacular Chinese.
Once, a student angrily asked him, "Mr. Hu, is there no defect in the vernacular?" ”
Hu Shi smiled and replied, "No." ”
The student was even more angry: "There must be! There is a lot of nonsense in the vernacular, and there are many words used in telegraphy and a lot of money. ”
Hu Shi said: "Not necessarily, a few days ago, a friend called me and asked me to work in the ** department, I decided not to go, so I called back and refused." The reply is written in the vernacular, which is also very word-saving. Please write a reply in classical Chinese according to my meaning, and see if it is a vernacular or classical Chinese province. ”
Fifteen minutes passed, the students handed in the manuscript, and Hu Shi picked a telegram draft with the fewest words in Chinese, and the telegram was written like this:
I am not a shallow learner, I am afraid that it will be difficult to be competent, and I will not be able to obey my fate. ”
Hu Shi said that this telegram was really well written, using only 14 words, but my vernacular telegram only used 5 words: "I can't do it, thank you!" ”
While teaching at Xiamen University, Lu Xun went to a barber shop to get a haircut. The barber did not know him, and when he saw that he was dressed plainly and his appearance was not good, he thought to himself that he must not have much money, and he was not serious at all when he got a haircut.
Lu Xun not only did not get angry, but after the barber, he arbitrarily took out a large amount of money to the barber, far more than he should have paid. The barber was overjoyed, and immediately a smile was on his face.
After a while, Lu Xun went to get a haircut again. The barber took out his housekeeping skills, and his face was full of humility and careful geography. This time, Lu Xun was not at all bold, and he gave the barber a number of copper plates, and he didn't give more than a single child.
The barber was puzzled: "Sir, you gave it like that last time, why do you give it like this today?" ”
Lu Xun said with a smile: "The last time you were so-so, I will give it so-so; This time, if you are serious about geography, I will give it seriously. ”
The barber was embarrassed.
Celebrity humor exuding the fragrance of tea (2)Celebrity humor exuding the fragrance of tea (1).