Behind the bitterness of being a parent, my mother's "generosity" and the waves in my heart
When I was a child, my mother always watched me eat and said, "Eat more, you're full!".”
So my mouth was stuffed to the brim, and I was so satisfied that I couldn't even compare to a dog.
But when I grew up, I found that there was unexpected bitterness hidden in this "generosity".
Do you ever feel that when you were a child, your mother would always let you eat more, for fear that you would be starved?
At that time, my mother was simply a human flesh feeder, and she had to force so many things every time, and she had to say nonchalantly
If you eat too much, you will have the strength to grow up!”
All this seems to be caring, but when I am really old, I find that behind this "generosity", there is an unexpected bitterness.
When I was a child, I thought this was the normal situation at home, but when I got older, I realized that behind this "generosity" was actually a kind of "arbitrary domination".
Don't look at my mother and give me food with a kind face, in fact, this is her showing off her mother's skills.
Eating became a battle, and I became a target for my parents to use their cooking skills.
It's like every time I take one more bite, I get better, but I just want to have a quiet meal, where are there so many unspoken rules?
When I went to school, this "generosity" changed its tricks and became a "concession" for education investment.
When I was in junior high school, my mother began to run an "education annual card", and I was assigned English classes, math classes, and piano classes.
I have to say that at this time, I felt like a trained fighting, thrown on the playing field anytime and anywhere.
At that time, I had good grades, not because I was smart, but because I was forced to have no time to think about anything else.
Let's talk about adolescence, this "generosity" has escalated into a "vanity display" in social situations.
Every year on her birthday, my mother has to decorate the house in all colors, as if she had a big birthday.
Relatives and friends all gathered together and looked at me with keen concern and asked me as if I were a star.
It's as if everything in the house is there for this moment.
I can understand that, but I don't really need to celebrate that much, sometimes I just want to spend it quietly, really.
Now that I think about it, how much "generosity" has brought me along the way.
When I was a child, I "ate more", when I went to school, when I went to school, and when I went to school, I "showed my vanity" in social occasions, all for my parents' good.
But now I know that this "generosity" does not come from the selfless dedication of parents, but the product of social expectations and parental anxiety.
So, when you see your mom serving you a big bowl again, or your dad signing you up for a training class, don't be in a hurry to feel how great their "generosity" is.
Perhaps, this is just the clumsiest way they use to give you a good future in this complicated society.
So, let's stop blaming them, they just express what they expect from us in a crude way.
Perhaps, they really think that only in this way can they be considered real "good parents".
However, what I want to say is that growing up is a process that belongs to you, and you don't have to care too much about the eyes of others.
Don't let "generosity" become a burden, a space that we can't breathe.
On the way to growth, you might as well find your true self and find the little person who thinks independently.
Life is our own, and don't let "generosity" become a "gift" that we can't bear.