62-year-old aunt on the list of high-quality authors: The group pension family is almost gone, and the unity is insufficient, like a plate of loose sand.
Group pension is a new type of pension method, a few good like-minded friends, meet to go to a beautiful environment, help each other to spend their old age.
However, it is not so simple to care for the elderly, friends live under the same roof every day, they will face many practical problems, it is inevitable that there will be friction, and if it is not handled well, it will affect everyone's harmony.
Ms. Zhang and her best friend's two families were together to support the elderly, which was very beautiful at first, but slowly many problems surfaced, and there were many conflicts between Ms. Zhang and her husband, and everyone had to go back to their respective homes.
Whenever I think back to the group pension, Ms. Zhang said that I have been with my daughter for a year, and my home is almost out of ......
My name is Zhang Yuxia and I am 62 years old this year.
At the age of 55, I retired from the system. Two years before I retired, I was fortunate enough to be promoted to a senior title, and at the same time, my pension was also increased, and now my pension has reached 8,900 yuan per month.
I come from a rural area and have two older brothers at home. My older brothers didn't value academics, and I had a love of learning since I was a child.
Luckily, my parents didn't have a traditional patriarchal mindset and they did whatever it took to support me for a good education. Despite our poverty, we live on farming. I remember one time when I was paying for the school fees, my mother took a few eggs to the market to sell, but it was still not enough, so she decided to sell the two old hens that were laying eggs at home.
Having experienced poverty and hardship, I worked after graduation and spent every penny very frugally, trying to save money for my family.
After I started working, my second brother was still unmarried. Relying on the money I sent home every month, he finally married his second sister-in-law.
On weekends, my friend Li Fang often comes to the dormitory to chat with me. She was also from a rural area, and she was a high school classmate with me. After graduating from university, Li Fang also worked in the county unit, and we had similar life experiences and had many spiritual exchanges with each other.
Li Fang once complained to me that her family was not doing well, and hoped to find a wealthy person to change the family situation. I reassured her that she was beautiful and that there would definitely be many suitors. In contrast, I think it is more important to find someone who is reliable and has a stable job, and it has nothing to do with appearance.
In the end, Li Fang got her wish and found a rich boyfriend. He was the heir to a factory. Li Fang said that when she and her boyfriend drove back to the village, dozens of people from all over the village watched.
As for my other half, he is a staff member of a public institution. The family conditions are acceptable, and both parents have stable jobs. He is the only son in the family, with a kind personality, and although he is somewhat spoiled, we are able to accommodate each other.
We married and lived a quiet and stable life with only one son. The child is smart and has excellent academic performance. We never had to worry too much about his studies.
After graduating from university, the child was admitted to a state-owned enterprise and left his hometown to work in other places.
The girlfriend the son is looking for is a local and is also an only child. After my parents-in-law retired, they lived with our son's family and helped take care of the children, which gave us a lot of peace of mind. Sometimes we give them some money to show our heart.
After retirement, the pace of our lives slowed down, and we often went out to relax with Li Fang.
Over the years, our family and theirs have been in frequent contact and have dinner together every week or two.
During the meal, Li Fang's husband and my husband always fought to pay. Although their family is financially well-off, we don't want to eat them all the time. Sometimes I ask my husband to quietly put the money at the bar and go to the checkout when the meal is over.
Li Fang often gave me gifts, such as silk scarves that her husband brought back from abroad or cosmetics that he brought back from abroad.
I wanted to repay her, knowing that she was not good at cooking, so I often invited them to come to my house to eat the dumplings I made myself. They liked it very much, and the dumplings I made were more popular than the ones outside.
Li Fang's son studied abroad after graduating from high school, thanks to his family's sponsorship.
Now Li Fang and her husband have also become empty nesters.
Li Fang's husband handed over the management of his family factory to his nephew, and gradually quit his job and became a veritable retiree.
Sometimes, Li Fang and her husband would visit their son, but they stopped going after a few times because of the language barrier and unaccustomed lifestyle.
Li Fang often comes to my house to play, sometimes even all day. I'll cook for her. She once said that if you are old, how good it would be to retire together!
It was a joke, but it became the talk of the conversation between our two best friends.
We began to plan for the future of retirement, whether to enjoy old age at home, or choose a nursing homeWe weighed the pros and cons.
In a nursing home, we don't feel comfortable. We used to volunteer together, and seeing the elderly there waiting for someone to come to visit, it made us feel that the nursing home was not as warm as home.
Although it is practical to care for the elderly at home, doing housework every day restricts freedom. We thought it would be more appropriate to move together to a place with a beautiful environment.
The two of us hit it off and thought of the concept of co-pension, isn't it popular on TV and the Internet to "group pension"?So we decided to find a suitable place together.
We have been best friends for many years and hope to be together for the rest of our lives.
We passionately shared our ideas with our husbands, and they agreed. We are all looking forward to a change of environment and a new life in old age.
Walking the talk, we started a plan to care for the elderly together. I plan to choose a place with beautiful environment and convenient transportation to enjoy my old age.
Li Fang's husband had an extensive social circle and soon learned of a small village in the south. This village is about 30 kilometers away from the county seat, with a pleasant environment and convenient transportation.
A friend was interested in a two-story house. The house is beautifully renovated and has a spacious yard filled with all kinds of flowers and plants.
When I saw the ** sent by Li Fang's husband's friend, I was immediately attracted there.
We are in the north, and the winters are exceptionally cold, and even if there is heating in the house, as soon as the heating is turned on, the inside of the house becomes particularly dry. Sometimes I couldn't sleep well all night and had to get up and drink water frequently because my lips were chapped.
How pleasant life will be in the South!The winter is warm and humid and I kind of can't wait.
We packed our bags and came to this small southern town without hesitation to retire.
My family lives on the first floor, while Li Fang and her husband live on the second floor. Both floors are equipped with full bathrooms and kitchens.
The owner of the house is very business-minded and is said to have built the house with the intention of renting it out to people seeking to retire.
We agreed in advance to share the cost of the pension, and each family shared half of it.
Li Fang was very generous, she said that her family's financial situation was better than ours, and she was willing to contribute more money. But I disagree, even though we are good friends, it is necessary to have a clear division of accounts financially.
We agreed to contribute 3,000 yuan per month to each family as living expenses, so that a total of 6,000 yuan can allow the four of us to live a healthy and nutritious life.
And the countryside is not very expensive, and it usually doesn't cost much, unless you go to the city to have a big expense.
I knew that Li Fang was not good at cooking, so I took the initiative to take on the task of cooking.
Our standard for each meal is four dishes and one soup, sometimes even six courses.
Usually Li Fang and I shop and wash the vegetables together, and then I take care of the cooking.
My husband and Li Fang's husband are two big men who like to watch TV or go to the nearby mountains to pick mushrooms and dig bamboo shoots.
After the meal, the four of us would play poker together.
Sitting on a deck chair in the courtyard, breathing in the fresh and humid air of the south, smelling the fragrance of flowers wafting in the wind, the mood is happy and peaceful.
Li Fang and I felt that it was the right decision for us to choose to live in this small town. I used to live in the county seat, where there were many high-rise buildings, the weather was gloomy, and the crowd was noisy.
Away from the crowded county town and coming to this quiet town, our life became extremely comfortable. This is the real way to enjoy retirement!
We often go to nearby attractions together. The small bridges, flowing waters, ancient pavilions and pavilions in the south all record our footprints.
I have had problems with my cervical spine all these years. When I look down at a book or my phone for a long time, I often feel dizzy and have to stand up and walk around.
Sometimes when I bend over to stir-fry in the kitchen, I will also feel dizzy and nauseous, and I will feel some chest tightness and shortness of breath.
So I discussed with Li Fang to see if she could also learn to stir-fry, and I would teach her.
Although Li Fang reluctantly agreed, the dishes she fried were always salty and bland, or too much water was put in them. Both big men felt that Li Fang was not good at stir-frying, so I had to go back to work and be responsible for cooking every day.
One day I started getting dizzy again. It may be that I caught a cold when I went out to play the day before, which made my cervical spine more uncomfortable. I lay in bed and didn't want to get up, and when it was time to eat, my husband urged me to get up and cook. I begged him to be considerate because I was feeling very uncomfortable.
But my husband said that the two families were waiting for me to cook, thinking that my little problem was nothing, and that I was too squeamish, and forced me to get up and cook quickly.
I was very reluctant to cook that meal, and after a few bites of food, I went back to my room to rest.
My husband likes to save face and often reprimands me for putting on a disapproving face, even though I am only genuinely expressing my discomfort.
This argument is about the sharing of household chores, and I think we share the responsibility of providing for the elderly, and I can't be the sole responsibility for cooking.
For this reason, I proposed to negotiate with Li Fang to keep the same living expenses every month, but eat separately. We buy ingredients together and when we get home they cook upstairs while we are downstairs.
Li Fang was surprised by this, maybe she always thought that I would always be in charge of cooking, but it really made me too tired. She reluctantly agreed to my offer.
Doing so freed me from the burden of cooking for four people alone and made my life a lot easier.
However, I didn't anticipate that I would still have a lot of problems after eating separately. My husband and Li Fang's husband like to go to the surrounding farmhouses to eat, and we don't want to eat and drink with them.
I was a little upset to see them eating out a lot. At this age, frequent meals in restaurants can be greasy, salty, and not good for your health, and moreover, it is not a small expense.
In contrast, Li Fang's family is financially well-off, and we are just ordinary salaried people, and we can't compare with it.
I calculated that my husband's monthly expenses for eating out should not be underestimated.
Although we have a lot of pensions, we spend more. We don't have grandchildren with us, but we often have to send red envelopes to relatives to show our gratitude.
I also have to pay my parents a monthly pension, and I have been responsible for my parents' living expenses all these years, while my brother and sister-in-law are by their side to take care of them.
We choose to reunite and retire in other places, so interpersonal interactions in the county are inevitable. Whether it's a wedding or a child's college trip, we need to transfer money to others.
At present, my husband often goes out to dinner and drink with Li Shuangfang's husband, which makes us have little money to spare.
I've been telling my husband to save money. Even though we are now in a group together, we may also need to hire a caregiver to take care of us as we get older.
But my husband thought I was too stingy. Does he think there is still any point in living too poor?So we often quarrel over it, sometimes big and sometimes small. Of course, we would all keep the door closed and not let Li Fang or her husband hear it, which made me feel embarrassed.
We are a poor couple, and although we have a lot of pensions, compared to Li Fang's family, we are relatively difficult.
Sometimes, I try to communicate with my husband in a peaceful way. I told him that Li Fang's family was richer than us, so we couldn't compare with each other in normal times. I mean be considerate when you spend your money.
But the husband thinks that people spend money very generously, and if he behaves too poorly, do we still have face?He believes that we are reunited and retired outside the home, and we can't let others underestimate us.
I could only laugh and cry. My husband and I come from different family backgrounds. I grew up in the countryside and my family was not wealthy, so I developed the habit of frugality. The husband is the only child in the family, and his parents are retired in the system, so he has never experienced the feeling of poverty.
Before our family, we used to quarrel because he was spending lavishly. Now that I'm reunited with Li Fang's family, he sees that Li Fang's husband is spending money like water, so he starts to be more generous, which bothers me a lot.
Gradually, I noticed that Li Fang didn't seem to be so enthusiastic about me anymore. I don't know if I did something wrong, why is she upset with me?
I asked my husband to secretly ask Li Fang's husband what was wrongI was embarrassed to ask Li Fang directly.
Once, after my husband went out to eat, I told me that Li Fang seemed unhappy because I was unwilling to cook for them. She knew I was a good cook, so she thought I'd be in charge of cooking when we got together.
I couldn't help but smile wryly, how could this be possible?We came out to care for the elderly together equally, they paid 3,000 yuan, and we also paid 3,000 yuan, why does the responsibility of cooking always fall on me?
It makes me feel bad and messy every day.
Li Fang and I can no longer sit down and talk and share our hearts as we used to. After dinner, we retreated to our rooms and rarely went out together.
However, her husband and Li Fang's husband were just as free to go out to drink and talk. The two of them were not affected in any way by the unpleasantness between me and Li Fang.
Even if my husband and I argued, I couldn't stop him from going out to the restaurant.
Once, he went to the county seat with Li Fang's husband, and when he came back, his husband carried a purple clay pot and said proudly: "Do you know how much this purple clay pot is worth?"”
I took it and took a look, it was just an ordinary purple clay pot, and I didn't understand this.
I said without thinking, "Maybe 100 or 200, right?""After all, in my opinion, it's just a small teapot, how can it be worth so much money?
However, the husband said, "If I tell me how much I offer, you will be shocked." "I asked him how much?He said, "18,000 pieces." ”
At first I thought I had misheard, but after reconfirming that it was 18,000 yuan, I could only sit on the sofa weakly.
He played with this purple clay pot, and said that Li Fang's husband had a unique vision and thought that this was a real purple clay pot and worth the money.
When I heard the price, I turned pale with anger. I asked him, "Rain or shine, don't you think about it when you're short of money?"How much money do we make in a month?How can you spend 18,000 yuan to buy a purple clay pot?”
However, the husband didn't seem to care, saying that Li Fang's husband bought four purple clay pots at a time and planned to give them to friends.
Hearing this, I became even more angry, and I said, "Li Fang's husband is a big boss, and you are just an ordinary retired employee, are you comparable?"We don't have that condition!"The more I talked, the angrier I became. I've always been frugal and don't want to waste a penny, but my husband spends money like water.
My husband became angry because I was unhappy with his financial control. He blamed me for restricting his spending all along, which may be understandable at home, but now that we are away for a better life, he still feels constrained. Whether it's eating out or buying something he likes, I'm not upset.
He further accused me of being lazy and unwilling to insist on cooking for a family of four, which made me feel aggrieved. He didn't seem to understand the toil of preparing three meals a day for four people, and he cared too much about what others thought.
I was shocked by these rebukes, and I did not expect that he did not understand and understand my situation and feelings. My efforts don't seem to be recognized. I was busy with my family every day, but he didn't seem to feel it.
I was so depressed that I couldn't stop crying. Li Fang happened to hear our argument when she came over, and felt embarrassed and avoided us. Since then, the relationship between me and Li Fang has not been as harmonious as before.
Then my husband and I quarreled and eventually separated, and my husband found an excuse to leave in advance. I felt very lost and empty.
We decided to end the huddle program, and although we had paid the rent for three years, the landlord was thankfully able to refund the remaining amount.
This group pension ended in failure and almost led to the breakdown of our family. After we returned home, my husband and I communicated many times before we gradually regained our previous relationship.
Now I often reflect that if I hadn't chosen to live in a group, maybe there wouldn't have been so many conflicts between our husband and wife. Group pension needs to be carefully considered!
When caring for the elderly in a group, we need to be tolerant and tolerant, and don't worry about it. Everyone's living habits and personalities are different, especially the differences in economic status, which can bring pressure and trouble to each other.
Living together exposes a lot of trivial matters, and getting along for a long time can create conflicts, which need to be handled properly.
If you want to consider grouping for retirement, be sure to prepare in advance and find friends with the same personality, financial and values.
According to their own economy and health status, choose the most suitable and correct way to provide for the elderly.