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Before getting married, I believed in love, wanted to marry love, wanted to keep love, and wanted to get married. I always felt that my married life was very happy. After all, true love is invincible, and there is no reason why people who love each other are unhappy after marriage.
However, when you really step into the palace of marriage, you will gradually understand that love is built on ideals, there is room for reverie, and it is always beautiful;Marriage is based on reality, and the beautiful space is constantly compressed, often painful.
When you get married, you always feel that the other party will accommodate you because you love you, and the quality of your marriage will get higher and higher. After getting married, I will understand that it is unrealistic to let the other party accommodate everything to themselves, life is often chicken feathers, and life is becoming more and more dull. I can't do anything to change it. The person who was supposed to compromise was not only the other party, but also himself. In order to maintain this marriage, they changed themselves, wronged themselves, and made compromises, which was a bit painful.
In fact, no matter who you marry, it is difficult to avoid three compromises. Do you understand them?
1.Take into account each other's feelings and respect each other's local Xi.
You live in the East Village, and the other person lives in the West Village. The customs and Xi of the two villages are different. The so-called "ten miles of different words, a hundred miles of different customs", you married each other. On the other party's territory, no matter what customs and Xi you live in, respect the other party's customs and Xi and take into account the other party's feelings.
Sometimes, because of different Xi and opinions on the same event, you will have a heated argument with your partner. Everyone should be reasonable. If you can't think from a different perspective, prioritize yourself, and force the other party to accommodate you, it will be "unreasonable".
If you want your marriage to continue, sometimes you have to put aside your opinions and respect your partner's local Xi. Even if you don't want to, this compromise is inevitable.
2.When the other person is feeling down, he may be "angry".
I didn't offend my partner. Why does my partner have to get along with me badly?”
Many men and women in their married life sigh like this. They obviously didn't do anything, they clearly showed better than yesterday, but their partners couldn't see that. They always make a big fuss and throw tantrums at will over the little things in life, which makes them feel aggrieved.
In your married life, you are likely to behave well and get better and better. You want the other person to see, value yourself, affirm yourself, and praise yourself. However, the other party could not see anything. When he is unhappy, he also provokes himself for no reason, which is bound to make you feel wronged. You may have thoughts of divorce as a result. After your mood calms down, you feel that you can still "endure" and "divorce".
Later you realize that your partner will experience something that you don't know and that you are the closest person to him. If he can't find an outlet to vent his negative emotions, he can't "control himself" and bring the negative emotions to you. You live under the same roof, and it's really hard to avoid.
3.It's hard to change each other, so we can only slowly adapt to each other's lifestyle.
Before getting married, you believe in love and believe that love will change a person. As long as you are loving enough and patient enough, you will use your charm to make your partner consciously correct their shortcomings.
After getting married, you find that some of the other person's incorrect ideas are deeply rooted, and some of the other person's small shortcomings are difficult to change. You try to convince them to change, you supervise them to correct their shortcomings, make up for their shortcomings, but they all end in failure.
At this time, you have to accept the reality, slowly adapt to the other party's lifestyle, accept the other party's shortcomings, stop being angry with the other party for this, and don't divorce easily for this. You want to live in partnership and maintain this "home", and that's a compromise you have to make.