In life, we often encounter a contradictory phenomenon: parents give their best for their children's future, but find that their children do not grow as expected. Instead, they may become rebellious, aloof, and even have behavioral problems. Behind this phenomenon, the problem of family education is often involved. Liu Yang's book "Strong Parents and Chaotic Children" is an in-depth analysis of this phenomenon, revealing the delicate relationship between strong parents and chaotic children from a unique perspective, and the way to solve this problem.
This book mainly expounds three points: first, strong parents often interfere too much in their children's development, causing their children to lose the opportunity for self-growth;Second, excessive expectations and stress can lead to rebellionFinally, it is only by changing the parents' own behaviors and attitudes that they can help their children out of the mess.
In the book, Liu Yang explains the first point in detail through a large number of cases. She pointed out that strong parents often impose their own wishes on their children, make decisions for their children, and even strictly control their children's academics, interests, and circle of friends. This intervention not only deprives the child of the opportunity for self-growth, but also makes the child become dependent, unassertive, and unable to face problems independently. For example, there was a mother who forced her daughter to practice for hours a day in order to become a pianist, and even resorted to violence when her daughter resisted. This behavior caused her daughter to develop a strong antipathy to the piano and eventually gave up playing the piano altogether. This case illustrates that strong parents often backfire when they interfere in their children's development.
The second point is about excessive expectations and stress. Liu Yang mentioned in the book that many parents have high expectations for their children, hoping that they will be able to achieve excellent results in academics and interests. This excessive expectation can cause a lot of stress for children, making them feel anxious, fearful, and lose self-confidence. When children fail to meet their parents' expectations, they feel frustrated and disappointed, and even have doubts and denials about themselves. For example, there was a boy who was frustrated because he couldn't live up to his father's expectations and ended up running away from home. This case illustrates that excessive expectations and stress can destroy the harmonious relationship in the family and make children rebellious.
So, how do you solve these problems?In the book, Liu Yang proposes a third idea: changing the behavior and attitudes of parents themselves. She believes that parents should respect their children's individuality and interests, and give them enough freedom and space to develop their abilities. At the same time, parents should also adjust their expectations and not put too much pressure on their children. On top of this, parents should also learn to communicate with their children, listen to their children's thoughts and feelings, and establish close family relationships. For example, there is a family that gradually establishes a harmonious family relationship under the change of parents. Instead of focusing too much on his child's grades, the father encourages him to pursue his own interests;The mother also no longer intervenes excessively in the child's behavior, but gives him more autonomy. This change has made the family atmosphere more harmonious, and the child's behavior problems have also been effectively improved.
Strong Parents and Chaotic Kids provides useful inspiration and advice for family education with a unique perspective and in-depth analysis. Through a large number of cases and practical methods, Liu Yang guides parents to reflect on their own behaviors and attitudes, so as to better understand and guide their children's growth. This book is not only suitable for parents to read, but also for educators to refer to. It can help us better understand our children's inner world and needs, and provide better support and assistance for their growth.
Finally, I would like to quote a quote from the book to sum it up: "Family education is not a simple science, but an art that requires patience, wisdom and dedication." "It is only through continuous learning and Xi practice that we can become better parents and educators.