It has been more than two weeks since the release of the movie "Wading through the Angry Sea", and Huang Bo played Lao Jin in the filmcreates a paradoxical impression :He seems to love his daughter (Nana) very much, but he doesn't seem to love him.
Saying that he loves his daughter, he did not forget to take photos with the attractions in the process of searching for his missing daughter in Japan, and he was still thinking about which equipment in his fleet should be replaced.
Say that he doesn't love it, after knowing that his daughter was killed, he must insist on finding out the truth of the matter and finding the culprit no matter what, and he will not hesitate to risk his life many times.
The director guided the audience with suspenseful expressions, at first he thought that Nana was killed by someone, but as the plot progressed, he thought that Nana had learned badly and caused herself. It wasn't until the final answer was revealed that it was discoveredThe source of the tragedy: the family.
A daughter without a father
Nana was suicidal, with seventeen non-fatal wounds, and struggled for seven hours without asking anyone for helpLonely left this world.
What Lao Jin couldn't believe was that in those 7 hours, his daughter hit ** to himself once, and the result given by ** was a mistake.
In Lao Jin's eyes, the relationship between himself and his daughter is good, and he has also praised his daughter for being sensible since she was a child. When her daughter had a fever when she was a child, Lao Jin covered her daughter's face with a wet towel to cool down, causing her daughter to have trouble breathing.
Lao Jin divorced his wife very early, and his daughter grew up with him.
Lao Jin loves his daughter, there is no doubt about it, but he doesn't know how to express his loveRunning on the beach with his daughter, he would only urge her to hurry up when she fell downThe way to teach her daughter to swim is also to throw her into the sea roughly, and only throw a rope to pick it up when her daughter is about to drown.
Nana's so-called sensibility is disguised out of fear of Lao Jin and not daring to express her thoughts and needs.
As soon as Lao Jin went to sea, he didn't go home for four or five days or even half a month, and Nana could only hide in a small closet and sleep when she was scared at home alone, so that she could feel safer.
So although I grew up with my father from a young age, for Nana,I only received indifference and control from my father, but I rarely felt the love and care of my familyThis also indirectly led to the tragedy.
For Lao Kim, what is a daughter
There is a scene in the movie where Lao Jin said when he was communicating with the police officer in charge of his daughter's case in Japan:
This sentence feels like "I only caught 600 catties of fish this time when I went to sea, and everyone will laugh at me", Lao Jin cares not about Nana's death, but about the failure of cultivating his daughterHis focus is not on his daughter, but on his own worth.
If you don't watch Lao Jin's awakening at the end of the movie, then you can label Lao Jin as a "materialized daughter".The daughter is his certificate of merit, proof that he is a "good father".
Tragedy comes from childhood trauma
In one of Nana's flashback shots, the Japanese teacher asks him to make sentences with love, such as "I love Dad, I love Mommy", but her words are stuck in her mouth and she can't say anything, and finally squeezes out a sentence"Love ......There is no love. ”
Not only do you not feel love from your father, but you also feel love with your motherLao Jin and his ex-wife are trying to play the role of a good father and mother:He loves his children very much in front of outsiders, but he never cares about his children's psychological feelings.
Observe Nana's two relationship experiences in Japan,What she needs most is the company of othersThis companionship can be possessive, inclusive, and controlling, as long as you can always be by her side.
This almost pathological need for companionship comes from the absence of parents in childhood, so when I become an adult, I crave more companionship and love from othersEven for the sake of this love, he did not hesitate to hurt himself.
Raising a child is not an easy task
Lao Jin finally realized the truth about Nana's death at the end of the filmThe cause of the tragedy comes from the way he raised his daughterSo he was crazy about finding his daughter's grave and talking to her, but it was too late.
As can be seen from this footage,As mentioned earlier, Lao Jin loves Nana very muchBut he didn't know how to love, and all the love he thought he had didn't fall on Nana's real needs.
And life has an instinctive desire for love, respect and understandingIf the parents can't give it, the child will find someone else to make up for the lack of childhood when he grows upBut who can guarantee that the child will meet the beloved?
Luckily,"The Angry Sea" is just a fictional storyThe author and director interpret the common phenomenon of modern family education in the most extreme stories, and the reality is often not so cruel.
Whether it is the indifference of Lao Jin and his ex-wife, or the common control and arrangement in more families in realityIt's all parents who are self-righteous in loving their childrenWhen the child has a problem, the parents are the most unacceptable.
It's simple:
Just like the growth of the body requires the intake of nutrientsPsychological growth also requires psychological nutrition. If these psychological nutrients are not satisfied at a certain stage of a child's growth, they will be like a flower that lacks water, unable to bloom its original beauty.
When parents have high emotional intelligence enough to pay attention to their children's psychological needs, then children will naturally bloom like flowers.
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Tencent Education Awards.