Recently, the tragic experience of a girl (hereinafter referred to as Xiao Nan) has aroused the sympathy of countless netizens.
At this age of 23, when she should have bloomed like a flower, Xiao Nan resolutely chose to leave this world. What kind of experience would force her to make such a choice?Things have to start with a news posted by Xiao Nan in a book. On March 11, Xiao Nan suddenly uploaded a screenshot of a WeChat chat with the words "I'm going to be driven crazy by my own mother". 
It turned out that Xiao Nan's mother was a teacher, and she was Xi used to arranging Xiao Nan's life, but what she didn't expect wasShe carried over this Xi to marriage. It is reported that Xiao Nan's parents began to urge her to get married when she just graduated. Of course, they are not doing this aimlessly. In order to speed up the process of Xiao Nan's family, they had already found a suitable candidate for her - the son of Xiao Nan's uncle's comrade-in-arms. For Xiao Nan's parents, this boy can be regarded as "knowing the roots", which is very good;But for Xiao Nan,In the 21st century, she still has to follow her parents' orders to marry someone she has never met, and she is naturally unwilling. Xiao Nan truthfully told her mother that she didn't like this boy and hoped that they wouldn't think about this family business again. But who knows, Xiao Nan's refusal was exchanged for her mother's hysteria. In my mother's view, getting married is just to find a suitable person to live with, there is nothing to like or dislike, and feelings will naturally arise after a long time. Probably forced to be tight, Xiao Nan also said some angry words, but her mother didn't think so
"You don't have to say anything nasty to me, your parents won't live alone when you die!”And let her:
"Be obedient, and we'll settle things when we meet tomorrow. ”
The mother's side is pressing step by step, and the father's side is not far behind. Unlike his mother's domineering, Xiao Nan's father seems to want to "convince people with reason".He said that the first priority of Xiao Nan's current stage of life is to get married, and this law cannot be violated. 
Facing the double attack of her parents, Xiao Nan was tormented. Finally, in order to escape, Xiao Nan chose to run away from home. She flees to a city far from home, where she tries to restart her fledgling life. But the facts are not satisfactory, Xiao Nan still has not been able to escape the "torture" of his parents. In the two months since she left home, Xiao Nan's mother still persistently urged her to get married. In order to force her to go home, her mother even forced her to "die", and sent Xiao Nan her ** of vomiting blood and hair loss every day. 
On the one hand, Xiao Nan was forced to breathe by her mother's urging to marry, and on the other hand, she was worried about her mother's physical condition, and was often in severe anxiety. In order to satisfy her parents, Xiao Nan even thought about "fake marriage". But when she posted the idea on her account to ask her followers for their opinions, she was rejected by most of them. Because the son of his uncle's comrade-in-arms is also a soldier, this involves a military marriage, and once it is married, it is not so easy to divorce. And I don't know what kind of person the other party is, and I can't block my whole life. 
After the persuasion of fans, Xiao Nan let go of this idea. Although the comfort and support of fans gave Xiao Nan a lot of motivation, these could not really relieve the pressure exerted on Xiao Nan by his parents. Not only that, in this strange city, Xiao Nan, who has just entered the society, has also been repeatedly frustrated and hit hard at work. Faced with such a day when she couldn't see the light, Xiao Nan was confused:
"Is it only when I'm dead that I can dispel her thoughts?”
As soon as the words became clear, netizens received Xiao Nan's news again, which was the bad news of her death. 
At around ten o'clock in the evening on March 12, Xiao Nan's friend posted a long article on Xiao Nan's account, telling fans the news of Xiao Nan's death. 
This is only 1 day since Xiao Nan asked the sentence "Is it only if I die can I dispel her thoughts". Those fans who care about Xiao Nan may have just written a message to comfort Xiao Nan in the dynamic comment area. In the face of Xiao Nan's sudden death, many fans felt sad for her, but there were also some fans who "mourned her misfortune and were angry with her":
"How can you be self-shady because of your parents' urging to marry?”"You should insist on resisting them to the end!We've got your back!”It's not hard to understand their attitude. They gave Xiao Nan "high hopes", hoping that she could break away from her parents and live her own life as she expected. However, they are not Xiao Nan and cannot truly appreciate the pressure she has suffered. Xiao Nan's friend attached some screenshots of the chat while posting a long post. These screenshots are the "last" straw that overwhelmed Xiao Nan one after another. They have education from the mother:
There was intimidation from the mother
There was even a curse from the mother.
These screenshots of the chat are enough to make us onlookers breathless. It's hard to imagine how uncomfortable Xiao Nan, as a party concerned, is looking at the vicious messages sent to him by his once dear mother.
Xiao Nan probably couldn't understand how he just got married in a hurry at the age of 23 without listening to his parents' arrangement, and how he became a sinner for the ages that disgusted them. Now, Xiao Nan has freed herself in the most extreme way. And her parents also felt regret, but no matter how they repented, they couldn't get their daughter's young life back.
After this incident was fermented, it attracted the attention of netizens to "parents urging marriage to push their daughters to a desperate situation".But in fact, this is not the first time such a tragedy has happened, and it is not only the daughter who will be forced to marry to a desperate situation. At the beginning of this year, there was a human tragedy in Yulin, Guangxi, caused by the forced marriage of parents. On a street in Luchuan County, Yulin, a man restrained another man to the ground and hit him continuously on the head with a tool. By the time passers-by called the police and brought the beaten man under control, the beaten man was no longer breathing.
After investigation, it was found that the *** man was the father of the beating man. According to people familiar with the matter, the man who beat people was forced to marry by his father all year round, so he suffered from mental illness. That day, I don't know if he had a psychotic episode or was forced to marry by his father again, the man immediately had a seizure and killed his father. There is also a Mr. Zheng who was deceived by his mother into coming home with "his father is seriously ill", only to find that his parents had arranged the marriage for him. Mr. Zheng, who had just arrived home, was immediately betrothed, but Mr. Zheng, who was angry, finally escaped and threw himself into the river, but fortunately he was rescued. This tragedy after tragedy makes people sigh and wonder at the same time: why are some parents so keen on forced marriage?
In fact, there are many reasons why parents force marriage. For example, some Chinese parents have very traditional beliefs, and they deeply identify with the bloodline of Chinese culture, such as:
There are three unfilial pieties, and no queen is great". In the subconscious of these parents, they need the inheritance of bloodline, and the inheritance of bloodline is inseparable from the efforts of their children - getting married and having children. Especially in some particularly patriarchal families, if there is only one single seedling or a daughter in the family, parents are more likely to worry that the incense will be cut off. In this case, it is particularly important for the daughter to get married and have children as soon as possible. Xiao Nan's parents probably belong to this category.
There are also some parents who have the idea of inheritance, and at the same time, they are very good-looking, and it is easier to interfere in their children's marriages. Because in the eyes of these parents, "not marrying" is equivalent to "incompetent", and even "not marrying will be regarded as an alien". So they are afraid that if their children are not married for a long time, others will laugh at their children. And this will seriously hurt their self-esteem and face. In order to avoid this from happening, urging their children to marry has become a top priority for these parents. There are also some parents who are worried that if their children do not get married and have children, there will be no one to take care of them after they leave, so they are eager to find a support for them.
There are also parents who, in their eyes, marriage is a major event in their children's lives, and it is also a major task that they need to complete as parents. If children do not marry, they are derelict in their duties as parents. "Parents love their children for the long-term", from this point of view, it is actually understandable that parents urge marriage, and many children are also willing to accept the care of their parents. The terrible thing is that some parents go crazy because of urging marriage, and even to the point of forcing each other to death. Just like Xiao Nan's mother, her daughter was unwilling to get married and run away, so she used her words like "I don't want to be cured when I'm sick" and "I'm dead" to kidnap her morally and force her to listen to herself. And parents like Xiao Nan's mother, the reason why they use such an extreme method as "forcing each other to die" is because they themselves know that children can ignore other things, but they can't ignore their parents' lives. And compared to using "patient persuasion", "analysis of pros and cons" and other ways to let children compromise,This method is the roughest, the most convenient, and the most able to allow children to do what they want.
Parents who adopt this approach often not only push their children step by step in the matter of forced marriage, but also manage as much in other small things (compared to marriage). At the end of the day, it's that they have too much control over their children. Most of them treat their children as their accessories: giving them food, clothing, shelter and transportation is equivalent to an investment, and the children need to return it to them. If the child is disobedient and has free-thinking behavior, it is like spending a lot of money to buy a rice cooker, but you want to stir-fry only but find that it can only cook rice. This kind of family kidnapping often runs through the child's life: **Beauty
When young, it is called "obedience", and when children gain a foothold in society and support themselves, it is called "filial piety".
Children who grow up in this environment are often difficult to perceive, this is their parents' PUA to themselves, and they will only feel that their parents love them too much. Because I love it too much, I lose my sense of proportion. Therefore, under the oppression of this sense of morality, the children could not bear to criticize the excesses of their parents, but chose to receive these heavy loves in their entirety. However, the spring will eventually bounce back under the squeeze of external forces, and the same is true for people. If you only want to control your children's lives, when they are squeezed to the limit, it may not be as simple as rebounding. Xiao Nan's departure is the most tragic example. May Xiao Nan go all the way and have more freedom in heaven!