Kitajima wrote in the poem: "At that time we had dreams, about literature, about love, about traveling through the world. Now we drink late at night, and the glasses touch together, and it is the sound of broken dreams. ”
Those who sit quietly in front of the computer, those who mix milk powder for their children in the kitchen, those who clink glasses with the leader and quietly walk to the balcony to light a cigarette, looking back at the past, remember the rise and shatter of dreams one by one.
As we grow older, perhaps most of us are irretrievably mediocre, which is not terrible, what is terrible is the "old" in the state of mind, and once the heart is old, we dare not move forward.
Newborn calves are not afraid of tigers", the old age of people's hearts often begins with the loss of courage, and the representative singer Pu Shu of "running away for half a life and returning is still a teenager" once said "I am not afraid of getting old, I am afraid of losing courage".
Young people who are confused by growing up must have the courage to leave blank spaces;In the prime of life who are confused by bondage, they must have the courage to re-play with the world;Middle-aged and elderly people who are confused by aging must have the courage to stride forward.
1. The courage to refuse.
Whether it is for the submissive "post-it-note" employees in the workplace, or the "widowed" full-time mothers in marriage, many times forbearance for a while cannot be exchanged for calm, but an inch.
Excessive promotion of tolerance will make people become cold to many things, and what is tolerance is to pretend that nothing is done to let it pass.
Then pretend that it's okay once, and the second time it's even more difficult to find fault. You think, didn't you put up with it last time, is it more serious this time?No, let it pass again.
Let something go three times, and you'll never want to pursue it again. I feel that life is nothing more than this, and the world is not worth it.
If you can't bear it, don't bear it, that revelation is your passion for life, not only in the workplace and marriage, but all of us live like this.
Second, the courage to leave.
The brightest star in the night sky, please guide me near", this is the fearless past of many people;"Who comes from the mountains, rivers, lakes and seas, but is confined to the kitchen and love day and night", this is the unquiet present for many people.
Are you satisfied with the status quo?"Either endure it or get out", since you can't bear it, can you turn around and leave fearlessly?I believe that most people do not have the courage :
Students will leave behind after the class, migrant workers will be replaced immediately after leaving, the young will have nothing to support after the mother leaves, and the old will have nothing to rely on after leaving.
So it's not so much about having the courage to leave, it's about having the confidence to leave:
As a student, you can catch up even if you don't go to school, migrant workers can have irreplaceable scarce ability, full-time mothers can live well even with their children, and the elderly have the awareness and plan to support themselves in old age.
3. The courage to change.
If we want to have the confidence to leave, we must first have the courage to change ourselves.
I have a lecturer friend X who is happily married, has a happy family, and has a successful career. She is cheerful and chatty even with strangers, and the people around her like her very much, but I am a stay-at-home mother, who is not good at socializing with people, and always feels cramped and awkward when talking to others.
So if I change myself into a person like X, I will have the confidence to leave?But no. Because even if I wanted to be X, I wouldn't be her.
The first step to change is to understand and accept yourself.
Remember that you are no one else, you are you and you are fine. But if you can't feel happy now, you can't keep doing this, you can't stop moving, you have to keep moving forward.
Don't dwell on what fate has given you, but how to use what fate has given you. What we need is not "replacement" but "renewal".
I can't change because I have made up my mind not to change.
Because if you choose a new lifestyle, you don't know what problems your new self will encounter.
The future is difficult, life will be full of uneasiness, and there may be a more painful and unfortunate life waiting for you.
Therefore, many people, even though they are dissatisfied with the status quo, still think that it is easier and more reassuring to maintain the status quo.
It takes a lot of courage to change the way of life, and in the face of the "uneasiness" caused by change and the "dissatisfaction" caused by change, many people are Xi to choose the latter.
To change is to make a new lifestyle choice.
If you want to change your lifestyle, you have to change the way you communicate with the world, and even change your behavior.
Don't forget what has to change. You are still you, as long as you choose your lifestyle again.
Finally, know that whatever happened in your previous life will have no effect on your future life. Because it is not the past experiences that determine who we are, but the meaning we give to them.
At every stage of our lives, we can feel that our minds have come to a standstill, and that's when we need to take risks, step out of our safe zone, and take the next step.
Don't forget, people must always have a heart to explore the world, and in addition to shouldering the responsibility of life, they must also have a distance that will never give up.