Beijing Heart Love Psychological Counselor answers:
Parents usually feel uncomfortable and depressed in the face of their children's irritability or indifference, and they can understand the feelings of parents. In fact, it is not only the child's response, but even the impatient response between friends, I am afraid it is difficult for people to accept.
Children in the first year of high school are in the stage of development of adolescence. As the child grows older, the physical and psychological development,After entering adolescence, each child will embark on a unique journey of spiritual growth to varying degreesUntil adulthood, the whole person needs to complete the growth process from an ignorant teenager to a mature adult.
This process generally includes several aspects: the development of self-identity, the development of autonomy, and the development of intimacy.
In Erikson's theory of stages of psychological development, it is emphasized that every adolescent will experience an "identity crisis", that is, the identity formed in the early stage can no longer cope with the choices and problems to be faced at the current stage, which makes the child doubt the identity that has been formed, resulting in an identity crisis.
At the same time, environmental and value influences can create a gender crisis for adolescents. This identity crisis can recur during adolescence and early adulthood.
About autonomy,Becoming an autonomous and independent person is one of the tasks of adolescent development, and the development of adolescent autonomy is usually divided into three types: emotional autonomy, behavioral autonomy, and value autonomy.
Where: emotional autonomy means that the individual becomes less dependent on his or her parents during adolescence and begins to establish emotional connections outside the family;Behavioral autonomy refers to the ability of adolescents to make decisions and choices independentlyAutonomy refers to a change in adolescents' views on morality, politics and ideology.
As adolescents grow up, their way of thinking changes, they begin to seek the opinions of others and compare different options, and the way they think about these three questions becomes more and more abstract.
At the same time, because they still retain the habit of relying on the people around them to follow their decisions, they often show that they are not really autonomous, which also shows the personality traits of adolescent children who are emotionally volatile, unstable, and full of conflict.
When most children go through the stage of puberty, parents usually feel that the good child is becoming a bad child, and this is the process of children trying to complete the process of self-development, and the pressure, shock and confrontation they experience in their hearts can sometimes be stormy.
At this time, they have begun to stop wanting to communicate or confide in their parents, so parents may feel that the children's temperament is perverse and difficult to get along with, and they want to help them, but they can't get close to them, and the response they get is often either rejection or coldness, which makes parents feel lost and anxious.
And that's exactly what it isAdolescents begin to develop a sense of intimacy, estrangement from their parents, and outward development of partnerships are common psychological needs of adolescents at this stage. Children who have difficulty developing a suitable partnership often experience a great deal of frustration in their hearts, which will adversely affect their future entry into society or a new environment.
Learning to get along better with adolescent children is a new topic for parents.
It is necessary to learn and understand the relevant psychological growth knowledge, and it is also necessary to combine the characteristics of their own children, and adjust to each other's ways with their children in a targeted and gradual manner. The patterns of dealing with children when they are young need to be transformed and adjusted in due course, and understanding and respect are essential principles in dealing with adolescent children.
In this process, it is inevitable that it will touch the stuck points of parents' own growth process, activate the suppressed emotions in the hearts of parents, and parents need to have the ability to self-awareness and identificationExploring the changes and causes of emotions from one's own body, improving one's self-awareness, and improving one's self-development will be of great help to understand adolescent children and get along with them smoothly.
Mr. Liu. 