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Author |Sail Book · Sailing against the current.
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Smart children come from their communicative grandparents, and the grandparents' language is the best tool for shaping a child's brain.
Mom, this can't be given to children.Is such a conversation common in life?Mom, children don't need to wear so much, too hot will cause a rash.
Mom, you don't have to worry about him, just let him do it himself.
When you have children, you will find that life has been taken over by trivial things.
Remind parents or in-laws to take care of their children every day, and everything has to be snacked.
Maybe it's a little different, and your heart will be uncomfortable. In more serious cases, it will also cause family conflicts.
After all, the elders think differently from us, they came from their time and have their own way of raising babies.
And we are young parents in the new era, thinking jumping, and there are many ways.
As a result, there will be different views, and even family disharmony.
So, as parents, how should we communicate with our elders about bringing a baby?
In"Intergenerational Parenting".In this book, the parenting guide for the new generation of grandparents is explained, so that the elderly can enjoy the joy of family at the same time, but also take care of the baby easily, happily and scientifically.
Basic principles of intergenerational parenting
Wang Zhenyao, dean of the China Philanthropy Research Institute of Beijing Normal University, once did a survey and found that:
More than 94 per cent of the elderly in China raise their grandchildren to varying degrees.
Then, there will be a problem for the elderly with children, and their physical strength will not be able to keep up.
I once saw such a news on the Internet.
A left-behind child in a rural area is chained to bed by his grandmother every day.
The reporter interviewed the reason, it turned out that the parents went out to work to earn money, and the children were left in the care of their grandmothers.
The child is more naughty, the grandmother's health is not very good, and she is afraid that her grandson will have an accident, so she can only tie the child to the bed and let him play by himself.
It's sad to read this news, but it reflects the current state of today's society:
Taking care of children is not only a physical challenge, but also an emotional burden.
Many elderly people who help take care of their grandchildren are very lonely and fragile, for fear that they will not be able to take care of their grandchildren.
We should fully understand and respect their contributions, and be more considerate in our daily lives. 
In intergenerational parenting, there is another issue that is easily overlooked: the elderly should respect the decisions of their parents.
In reality, many elderly people overindulge their children because they love their grandchildren.
Parents are educating their children, and grandparents hurriedly come to stop them, and even quarrel with their children, leading to family conflicts.
I once saw a news item like this on the Internet:
When a mother in Bozhou, Anhui Province was tutoring her child's homework, she was very anxious when explaining a question, and she was angry at the child's lack of understanding, so she started to do it to the child.
When her father-in-law saw this, he pointed at his nose and scolded her, and threw her to the ground.
Just like netizen @ replied with an indifferent smile: The father-in-law's education method is very dangerous, it has too much impact on the child, and sooner or later it will ruin the child.
We can understand that the elderly feel sorry for their children, but if they care too much and connive at them, they are destroying the children.
If grandparents teach their children from childhood to be disrespectful to their parents, will they be able to respect others when they grow up?
The role of grandparents is to assist and support, not to replace and interfere.
Grandparents should respect their parents' decisions, and their parents are the ones who really have the final say in the family's upbringing.
Understanding your child starts with the brain
It is said that the older generation relies on experience to raise children, which is outdated.
But in fact, for the healthy growth of children, the elderly are also constantly learning and changing.
I once read such a story:
Xiao Min always felt that her mother was very stubborn, didn't study, and was old-fashioned.
Once I helped my mother repair her mobile phone, I found out that she actually collected all the parenting articles she sent to her mother.
I used to say that my mother was stubborn, but it turned out that she was always changing.
In fact, parents are also absorbing new parenting concepts, so what we do is not to blame the elderly, but to help the elderly understand the scientific parenting style.
The book "Intergenerational Parenting" states:
At the age of 0-5, a child's brain development is essential for his later learning.
When a baby is born, there are more than 100 billion neurons. By the time a child is 1 year old, brain volume doubles, and new connections are formed at a rate of more than 1 million per second.
This means that every second when you interact with your child, 1 million new neuronal links are added to his brain.
Therefore, when grandparents accompany their children, they play and exercise with their children, not only to exercise their muscles, but also to exercise their brains.
For grandparents, setting aside 3 to 5 hours a day to exercise with their children is a very important challenge in terms of physical strength.
But it's also a win-win.
Exercise promotes the development of a child's brain and also gives the grandparents' body a workout.
Language shapes a child's brain
Language is the melody of the mind and the lubricant of the brain.
We always think that the difference between children is the school district and the training class, but in fact, parents ignore their most valuable asset - language.
According to a study by Betty Hart, it was found that children from poor families heard 30 million fewer words than children from wealthy families before the age of four.
This gap affects not only children's word count, but also their reading and IQ.
Children who listen to more words are more comfortable when they enter school, both mentally and physically.
Behind this number, there is a scientific fact: language directly shapes a child's brain.
In the current era of grandparents with babies, it is more accurate to say that the language of grandparents is shaping the child's brain.
I was a little exhausted when I came home because my parents had been working for a day.
When I accompany my child, I don't like to talk too much, and even give my child a bunch of toys for him to play by himself, missing the opportunity to communicate with his child and stimulate his child's brain development.
However, this is where grandparents begin to show their strengths.
Grandparents are the main force with babies, and because they are older, they love to "nag", and they like to tell their children about what happened back then or what happened when their parents were young.
Don't underestimate this action, tell your child about it often, it will not only increase the vocabulary, but also allow the child to understand his parents.
It turns out that my parents have also done trouble, and my parents have also come from when they were young, so they have narrowed the distance between them and their parents.
In fact, children's hearts are a blank sheet of paper, and every word and action we say will leave traces on it.
Smart children come from their communicative grandparents, and the grandparents' language is the best tool for shaping a child's brain.
Write at the end
In the process of parenting, parents and elders all hope from the bottom of their hearts that their children can live a better life.
Even if there is no better scientific parenting, the love of the elderly for their children is very simple and profound, which is the joy that children should enjoy in their lives.
Family affection is a very important part of life.
The world is changing, education is changing, and the only thing that remains constant is love.
A child's growth is a wonderful journey. Parents help the elderly to raise their children scientifically, and the elderly enjoy the happiness brought by their children and grandchildren.
Click [LookingLet the love and care of parents and grandparents flow in this bond, warming each other's hearts.
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