In "Gold Medal Mediation", I once saw a case:
There is a couple who have been married for five years, the husband works long hours outside the home, while the wife takes care of the children at home. Whenever a husband comes home, he wants to be intimate with his wife, but he can't always share a bed because the children are crammed between them.
Over time, the couple gradually Xi this life, sleeping alone and not interfering with each other.
In the end, the couple's relationship was greatly impacted, leading to irreconcilable conflicts.
So, they turned to "Gold Medal Mediation" for help, hoping to solve the current problem of the relationship between husband and wife.
The host said at the time: "Your biggest problem is that you don't share a bed, insist on sleeping together every day, and all problems will be solved." ”
Although this answer is simple, it makes the husband and wife look at each other, perhaps this is the strangeness of the husband and wife because of the long-term separation of beds.
In fact, marriage requires the joint efforts of husband and wife, as the saying goes, "a thousand years of cultivation can sleep together", what a great fate it is for the two to be together.
As the saying goes, "the wife and children are hot on the kang", and the sharing of the bed between husband and wife is indeed the most direct way to maintain the relationship between husband and wife.
If a husband and wife are separated for a long time in their marriage, it will undoubtedly be detrimental to the relationship between the husband and wife, and may even have a serious impact on the marriage.
Therefore, couples are advised not to sleep separately and not to let their caring partner become the stranger most familiar to each other.
Couples who have been separated for a long time may face three outcomes:
1. Lack of communication, estranged relationshipWhen you are just getting married, there must be a lot to say between husband and wife, and they are willing to share anything with their other half.
However, if couples are separated for too long, they will gradually lose the desire to communicate.
For example, Ms. Wang said at work that she and her husband had slept in separate beds for four or five years, and that the relationship between the husband and wife had become increasingly estranged.
At first, Ms. Wang felt very free, without her husband's snoring, and the quality of her sleep was good, and she felt some enjoyment in her heart.
However, as she was separated from her husband for longer and longer, she realized that something was always missing around her, and she felt uncomfortable.
Sometimes, Ms. Wang asks herself why she can't pique her interest in love. Although she sometimes wants to be with her husband, she can't take the initiative.
In addition, due to work, she and her husband are very busy, and when they return home, they are exhausted and have no heart to cultivate a relationship.
As a result, she and her husband have to take care of the whole family in addition to work during the day, and there is little time to cultivate relationships.
Therefore, Ms. Wang and her husband lost the desire to communicate, neither of them took the initiative, and seemed to have become Xi to such a life.
Therefore, it is really not recommended for couples to sleep in separate beds for a long time, and it is okay to be separated occasionally, but it is not recommended for long periods of time.
In life, many couples lose the desire to communicate and the relationship becomes estranged not because they have no feelings, but because of the long time.
Moreover, once the feelings are indifferent, it is likely to produce various contradictions, and the gains outweigh the losses. If there is a misunderstanding between the husband and wife due to the lack of communication, the impact on the marriage can be very serious.
Normally, if a husband and wife are separated for a long time, they are most likely to lose their sense of dependence, which leads to frequent conflicts. When both parties no longer need each other's company, the marriage is dead in name.
Couples living together do need to communicate frequently, even if it is just a word, a look, or a simple hug, it can effectively improve the relationship between husband and wife and make each other feel loved.
Therefore, couples who are able to share a bed have a much higher degree of emotional harmony than couples who sleep in separate beds for a long time.
2. Lack of love and emotional disharmony Couples who have been separated for a long time can also lead to a lack of love and emotional disharmony between each other.
When two people ignore each other and don't care about each other, the relationship is likely to have long existed in name only.
Truly loving couples, for whatever reason, choose to share a bed at night.
The advantage of this is not only that they can confide in each other, speak their hearts, and increase their sense of trust, but also that they can get closer to each other in the hug and feel warmth on both sides.
And those couples who sleep in separate beds for a long time, due to the lack of physical contact, the heart cannot communicate with each other, and the distance between each other is getting farther and farther away, which eventually produces unnecessary estrangement and affects the relationship.
Mr. Liu and his wife have been married for three years, and since he runs his own business, he works late into the night every night, and when he wants to rest, he realizes that his wife has already fallen asleep.
In order not to disturb his wife, Mr. Liu went to sleep in another room by himself, and as a result, it became a Xi.
At first, Mr. Liu didn't want to pay attention to his wife, but because he was busy with work and worried about affecting her sleep, he had to sleep alone.
However, his wife misunderstood him, thinking that Mr. Liu didn't care about her and might even have someone else outside.
As a result, the wife often loses her temper and also asks him if he has been unfaithful to her. The two have been in conflict for a long time, and their relationship has become discordant.
Fortunately, Mr. Liu was very patient, not only did he explain carefully again and again, but in order to avoid his wife's indifference, he no longer dared to sleep alone.
Therefore, if couples sleep separately for a long time, the biggest impact is the lack of love and emotional disharmony between each other.
In life, many conflicts between husband and wife are nothing more than the reason for this.
Moreover, when this state lasts for a long time, the other party may have misunderstandings, and if you don't pay attention to it, it will be too late to regret it when the other party's heart stops.
Husband and wife, both parties need to understand each other more and communicate with each other more, so that in intimate actions, both parties can feel pleasure and the feelings will naturally become deeper.
3. Betrayal, the breakdown of a marriage Couples who have been separated for a long time can also lead to an outcome, that is, betrayal, which eventually leads to the breakdown of the marriage.
Because the two have been separated for a long time, they have a cold relationship with each other, and they have long been strangers. Therefore, when the inner needs cannot be met, there is a high risk of betrayal of feelings.
If you don't care about each other, let alone take this feeling to heart, sooner or later you will be unfaithful to your marriage.
Such a couple, although they still have the status of husband and wife on the surface, but in fact, the relationship between husband and wife has long been fragmented and irretrievable.
For example, Ms. Yang, a neighbor, has been married to her husband for four years, and since having children, she has never slept with her husband again.
For three years, from the second year of marriage, Miss Yang was with her children, while her husband was in another room, as if he were single.
At the beginning, when the two shared the bed, they discussed, Miss Yang thought that her husband was too tired to help, so it was better for her to sleep alone with the children.
Therefore, the two slept in separate rooms for a long time, which eventually led to a rift in their relationship.
The husband came home later and later, and even did not return for the whole night on several occasions.
At first, when Miss Yang asked about it, her husband always said that he was busy. However, Miss Yang gradually felt that something was wrong because her husband had never been so busy before.
Later, through many inquiries, Miss Yang found out that her husband had an ambiguous relationship with another woman, and that woman was actually his colleague, and the two were often together.
After Ms. Yang obtained some evidence, she asked why her husband had betrayed her
The husband lowered his head and said for a long time, "Because you haven't slept with me, I also need it, and I can't bear this kind of torture." ”
Faced with this reason, Miss Yang felt very angry, but she was helpless, and finally the two broke up peacefully.
Therefore, it is best for husband and wife not to be separated for a long time, but to spend time together so that the relationship can be stable and long-lasting.
While occasional separations can add freshness, over time, no one can be sure that there won't be problems.
Men, unlike women, will sooner or later do things that are sorry for people when they can't satisfy their desires.
Marriage requires the joint efforts of both husband and wife, both parties need to pay, and with emotional and physical and mental communication, a good relationship between husband and wife can be truly maintained.