People who lack love will have these 4 abnormal manifestations in their bodies

Children who have been loved since childhood and who have not been loved since childhood,

How big of a difference is there when you grow up?

Recently, the parent-child variety show "Daddy Home 2" started with Douban 91 point is a perfect ending.

The warm family atmosphere of the little girl Sanxi family also left a deep impression on countless netizens.

Because Sanxi likes small animals, he has 4 kittens, 4 puppies, chickens, birds and a whole tank of fish at home.

On the way to set up a stall, the family was sweating profusely because the air conditioner in the car was broken.

It's different from the complaints of ordinary families.

Sanxi's father would "apologize" for forgetting to fix the air conditioner, and his mother would immediately reply "it's okay", and Sanxi could even laugh and joke that "our family seems to be sitting in the oven".

In contrast, how many children grow up listening to "Mom and Dad work for you, do you know how hard it is".

Sometimes even "unbridled pleasure" is considered a sin.

And when Sanxi sees his parents sitting comfortably in the sunset, he will naturally say:

"My mom and dad are enjoying life. ”

This kind of confidence surrounded by love has made many netizens red-eyed.

Some people, after seeing Sanxi, seem to see their childhood and fantasize about themselves in their hearts:

Sanxi is the person I envied the most in my childhood and wanted to be the most, and she has the things I have always envied the most:

The spiritual world is rich, surrounded by love since childhood, like a quirky and brave princess.

When I was a child, I was most afraid of my dad coming home, and as soon as he came back, I had to think about whether I could do something bad today to be scolded by him.

He thought his education was the right way, but at that time I didn't understand what his reasoning was, I just knew that I had an unhappy childhood.

Until now, if I only stay in the same space with my dad at the same time, my heart is worried, and I am afraid that one will scold me for something.

I remember when I was a child, the teacher said to a girl. Your mother called ** and asked me to supervise you to drink a glass of milk every day, saying that you are at home and always run away and refuse to drink.

I really envied her at that time, because my parents were not around me when I was a child, and I lived in various relatives' homes and lived a life under the fence.

When he was bullied, he didn't have his father's support, when he was wronged, he didn't have his mother's careful guidance, he lacked love and low self-esteem since he was a child, he didn't like to greet people, and he was afraid to do anything.

Until now, I have never seen the world, and I only understand my experience when I have suffered a loss, and I still don't understand many things even after I have suffered a loss.

Children who have not been loved,

It's hard to live this life

I once heard a reader's story.

She is a very good elite woman, and her work is strict, and she cannot tolerate a single mistake.

However, it is such an independent woman, as long as she is seriously involved in a relationship, she will unconsciously become pandering.

will specifically pick what the other party likes to hear, and deliberately do something to make the other party happy.

When the other party gave her a gift, her first reaction was not surprise and joy, but thinking about how to give it back twice.

She always carefully recorded what the other party said unintentionally.

Carefully maintain the relationship.

There is no way to enjoy the relaxation and warmth that love should bring.

On the other hand, if the other party does not reply to the message in a timely manner, or shows unhappiness, she will be extremely anxious

"Did I do something wrong?Am I not worthy of love?”

But the more you care and the more you pay attention, the more likely you are to get hurt.

The ending of every relationship, either the other party can't stand it, breaks up coldly and violently, or secretly cheats with her concessions.

Later, after digging deeper, I learned that her parents had been strict with her since she was a child.

"No matter how good I was, they didn't recognize me. ”

So she can only work harder and get a scholarship in exchange for her parents' approval.

When she grew up, she treated herself more strictly, and only when she made everyone around her happy, she felt at ease.

"People think I love my job, but only I know it's uneasy and desperate to prove my worth.

I also wanted someone to be with me, but it was really hard for me to trust people completely, and then there was no ......”

Actually, this is typical"Loveless personality".

We all know that the nourishment of a family atmosphere, the companionship and love of parents will imperceptibly affect the psychology and character of children.

Especially for girls.

Girls are actually very emotional creatures, and their prefrontal and occipital lobes develop faster and more fully than boys.

This also dooms them to be delicate and sensitive in their hearts, rich in emotions, and have higher needs and desires for love.

If a girl does not receive enough emotional response from her parents since she was a child, her personality will leave traces under the accumulated repression:

Don't dare to rely on others, you can only use independence to protect yourself;

Life is very depressing, always inferior, Xi habit to please others;

The heart is highly sensitive, easy to suffer from gains and losses, and lacks a sense of security;

They don't trust others easily, and once they do, they dig out their hearts and lungs.

Even if they grow up and have the right to control their own life path, the feeling of being empty behind them has long made them desperate.

No matter how you fill it, you can't make up for it.

Lack of love,

What is lacking is not only love, but also self

There was once a sentence on Weibo that was particularly heart-wrenching:

Money always goes to those who are not short of money, and love always goes to those who are not short of love. ”

Sometimes I really have to admit that life is like this.

The more you want something, the less you get it.

Why is it so difficult to want someone who can pay for me, affirm me, tolerate all my shortcomings and faults, and always be by my side?

Is it true that people who lack love are not qualified to be loved in this life?

No. As Chizuruko Ueno said:

"If a woman is mentally poor, obsessed with being loved, and desperate for recognition, it will be difficult for her to save her from her predicament, regardless of her abilities and resources. ”

The same is true of the pine nuts in "The Life of the Disgusted Pine Nuts".

Because she was neglected and lacked love since she was a child, she spent her life in various intimate relationships when she grew up.

was abused by her writer's boyfriend, and she was reluctant to leave, because "it doesn't matter if you beat me, as long as two people are together, it's better than being alone." ”

When the student Aaron expresses his love to her, she can't wait to be with him, and she is willing to do whatever the other party wants her to do.

There is a kind of "self-sacrificing" contradiction and naivety in her.

In his bones, he thinks that he is not worthy of the attention and love of others, but he always hopes for others.

So the only solution she found for herself was to please the other party.

No matter how cruel the other party is, even if she is hurt and asked to make money as a prostitute and go to prison, she will still devote herself to the next relationship after being hurt.

As a result, he poured out his heart and lungs again and again, in exchange for hurt and betrayal again and again.

The story of pine nuts is not a projection of many people.

When emotional longings are not satisfied by family members, many people will instinctively seek recognition and care outward, hoping to make up for past trauma.

But it seems that no matter what you do, you are particularly twisted, both kind and cold-blooded, both inferior and conceited, contradictory and painful.

for their hearts are empty and have no strength.

They can't really affirm themselves from the bottom of their hearts, they always feel unworthy of love, vulnerable, paranoid and self-doubting.

Always spend your time and energy paying attention to what others are investing in you.

So you'll find out:

Those who lack love are forever seeking love, and then they will never get love;

People who do not lack love, have been surrounded by a loving environment since childhood, and they know their own value.

Their hearts are peaceful, their emotions are stable, and everyone likes to communicate with such people, and they are more likely to be loved.

Love yourself,

It is the beginning of a lifelong romance

Psychologist Carl Jung said:

"A person's life's work is to integrate his personality that has been formed since childhood. ”

The same is true of the "loveless personality".

No one's upbringing is perfect, everyone will have some experience of "not being loved" and "lacking love" to a greater or lesser extent, but everyone feels the reality differently.

Regardless of gender. But here, I want to emphasize one point:

Whether it's complaining about our parents or fantasizing that the hurt we once did not happen, it really heals us.

However, there is no such thing as a regression button in life.

Always staring at the gaps in your life will keep your energy draining.

The family of origin cannot be chosen, but it can be you who determines the direction of life.

When you learn to feel safe from within, and stop relying on external likes and dislikes and judgments, is the ultimate path to happiness.

So we can try to-

Accept your trauma.

There is often a process that needs to be gone through before a person can actually start over:

See your pain and accept your wounds.

I admit that I lack love, and I admit that there are bad parts of my personality. ”

In this way, we can ignite the courage to "I want to create a better life for myself".

Able to take care of their own needs.

Teacher Luo Xiang said:

In a family of origin that lacks love, you must learn to love yourself and not ask for emotional value from others, because this kind of thing is the cheapest thing in interpersonal relationships in this society. ”

So, study less about others, pay more attention to yourself, and increase your investment in your own growth.

When you are financially independent and have seen the world, you will no longer have to worry about whether someone loves you or not.

Even if you never meet anyone to love you again, you will not suffer from gains and losses, and doubt yourself.

Believe that "I am worthy" and "I can".

Accept some normal kindness and help at the right time and appropriately.

Give yourself more positive hints of "I'm good, I'm beautiful, I'm worthy, I'll be happy" and believe that you deserve everything you want.

Once a person has a positive aura, his life will also change.

Family alienation can bring harm to our hearts.

But it doesn't matter, not being loved is the norm in life.

Even if the whole world doesn't love you, at least you can still believe in yourself and love yourself unconditionally.

Finally, I would like to share with you a quote that I like very much:

When I really started to love myself, I went to bed earlier and earlier, and I enjoyed exercising and dressing myself cleanly

I am no longer entangled and anxious, I want to solve problems when I encounter them, and I have changed the small problem of procrastination

I focus on myself, trying to pursue meaningful people and things, and burning my passion for them.

Loving yourself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.

When you learn to love yourself, you will find that the whole world will come to love you.