I watched a Korean drama a few days ago, and it was very poking and warm. Among them, it talks about a couple, the ama Yingyu and the captain Dingjun, who were originally in sweet love in a seaside fishing village. But in fact, Yingyu hides a secret from everyone, she has a twin sister with Down syndrome, Yingxi.
After her parents died in a car accident at the age of 12, Yingyu has been taking on the responsibility of taking care of her sister, and she has been in love several times, but the other party broke up with her because she had such a sister. So she decided to hide it from the people around her in the future. But the turning point is that Young-ok came to Jeju Island, a seaside fishing village, to work, and met a group of kind villagers and the captain Jeong-joon. In this drama, when her secret is discovered, her twin sister appears in a small fishing village, and everyone is very kind to this sister with Down syndrome. Be tolerant, treat her warmly, empathize with her, and respect her. Applause for her ability to learn to say the word "Big Dipper", applause for her ability to dance, cheers for her knowing how to drink beer and know how to toast. People treated her with kindness and love, and they became happy because of it. 
I saw that the barrage broadcast here in this drama is also full of warmth and kindness, and full of "love" for this sister of a Down patient. Many viewers who watched the drama were Sister Tang's sister, and they also cried for the difficulty of her sister Yingyu's life, who has been taking care of her. Some people say that they cried for two episodes and their eyes were swollen. So, I thought-In fact, we are very kind and have the ability to empathize with many times. Whether it is the villagers in the drama or the audience watching the drama, we are moved by such a plot, the experiences and lives of such unknown people. We empathize, we cry for them, we are concerned about the life and mood of the character, we hope that she can be happy, safe, and at that moment, we are willing to be patient and kind like those people in the play. With a lot of understanding and tolerance, she treats a person with Down syndrome and her sister who is struggling to pursue happiness in life. But we can't treat ourselves that way, even if only for a moment. We seem to be able to treat people who seem vulnerable, helpless, and pitiful with kindness, and we often defend others, and even if we are "inappropriate" by others, we can excuse them and find many reasons. But we can't be so tolerant and kind to ourselves. 
Many people say that it is becoming harder and harder to make themselves happy. How to make yourself happy?When I watched this drama, I felt that in fact, Yingxi, the sister of Down syndrome, was very happy. At least as long as she was surrounded by the kindness and tolerance of those around her. That is, surrounded by kindness and empathyWhen one's own inadequacy and shadow are understood and accepted, one will feel very happy. 
Some people will say that it is because she was originally a patient, a person with a developmental disability. Of course, many times, she will also get special treatment because of this, and people should treat a person with a disability in the same way. Being understood, tolerated, and treated patiently, all will have a happy experience. Even this is one of the most important experiences of happiness**. But,Why is it that even you are kinder, more tolerant, and more partial?If it is difficult to get the understanding, tolerance, empathy and love of others, it is also uncontrollable and cannot be directly requested;
If there is no one in this world who will take sides with you, they will not hesitate to stand on your side, and whether it is right or wrong, they can deeply understand such a you.
Then, you are the only one in this world, and you should treat yourself like this.
Give yourself understanding, tolerance, empathy and love, and be kinder and more partial.
If you meet such a person in your life, she has Down syndrome, and she intersects with your life, will you treat her like a villager on TV?If you answer, of course I will, or I might. So,Why can you treat her so kindly, but not yourself?Aren't we the people in the world who should love ourselves and treat ourselves well?Some people will say that because this girl is poor and cute, she is innocent, she needs help, she needs to be loved, she seems to be a very good girl, so of course I have to be good to her, but I am good to myself?Am I an innocent person?Am I cute?Am I pathetic?Am I worthy of love?Do I need help?Am I vulnerable?Am I powerless?Is there no shame in being fragile and powerless?Isn't it my fault that I'm not loved?Isn't it because I'm bad?Isn't it because I messed up?When we utter such an inner monologue, we find the answer. The way we see ourselves, so differently. This leads to our inability to treat ourselves more kindly and tolerantly, and leads us to say that we love ourselves, but it becomes like shouting slogans. I'm not kidding about a TV series. I just want to help some people see through this stark contrast that many people treat themselves coldly, harshly, and even very cruelly. There are people who abuse themselves mentally or in life for many years, but they are completely unaware of it. And these people may be a person who is kind to others, empathizes with others, bears the emotions of others, and solves the problems of others in life. Why do many depressed people constantly attack themselves without knowing it?Because they live in the apocalypse for others"I'm sorry I let you down". "I'm really guilty". "I didn't keep my promises, I didn't take my responsibilities". They are ruthless to themselves, but too affectionate to others. They live in extremely high demands on themselves all year round, take responsibility and achieve success;Obsessed with bringing happiness to others rather than a little burden, I hope to always be a person who is satisfied, happy and can be counted on. They are "not kind" to themselves, they do not see that the inner part of themselves is severely worn out, scarred, and extremely exhausted day after day;I didn't see that my body and mind were in a state of long-term torture and overburden, and I deliberately avoided all kinds of psychosomatic symptoms, and always said to myself, "This is nothing, I can and should persevere." People with Down syndrome don't feel a stigma about their illness unless they live in a state of belittlement and ridicule. In the same way, many times we are also "patients", patients with psychological trauma, patients with psychosomatic diseases, patients with psychological problems. But the word "patient" brings to many people a sense of stigma, a sense of burden, a further hatred of the self, and a fear of being known. The vast majority of people have wounds in their hearts that need to be treated and healed. And this responsibility to treat and heal well is now our own. Meet your deeper self, take better care of yourself than your parents, slowly heal yourself, complete and grow yourself.
It's not something to be ashamed of, it's the path to light, integration, ascension.
Write at the end
A child, at a very young age, will see that it is not easy for his mother and father, and he (she) will become sensible because of this, and he (she) will no longer be so like a child. Because the family is unable to provide an adequate nurturing environment, because the parents do not meet the passing line of psychological parenting function. Even the personality of the parents is in a state of deprivation and extreme incompleteness, and the parents have a large number of early traumas and traumatic stress reactions that are constantly alive in life and relationships. As a result, children begin to empathize, take care of their parents, and support the shaky "stability" of the family at an early age. They are sensible and careful, their subconscious hides the self that needs protection, understanding, patience and "special treatment", and they are getting farther and farther away from their true selves. A child's heart, which needs to be nourished and instilled, is in a state of dryness and exhaustion for a long time. He grew up, became a young man, became middle-aged, and lived hard. And then for some reason he finally started to pay attention to his emotions, to his feelings. He began to seek medical advice for depression, anxiety, sleep disorders, and more. So when did all this begin?It is difficult for them to get acceptance and understanding from their parents, and even a small number of them do not have any. Children struggle to survive in the family, receiving everything from the environment, and many times, they treat themselves mechanically and indifferently, carrying the emotions and life of their parents, living up to the expectations of others, and not being able to bear to let anyone down. What motivates this child to endure such unbearable things over a long period of time?The answer is that, subconsciously, he looks forward to when he does, when he does it well enough, when he is perfect enough;His parents can become real parents, so as to make up for him well, love him, let him be a child again, go back to the beginning of the story, and start over. But it's just a dream, and life is in the moment. Every moment can be a start. Instead of continuing to live in that dream, it is better to go into the real world—to learn Xi grow, to counsel, to experience what is more appropriate to be treated in a relationship, to feel the feeling of being empathized and understood without being judged. Most importantly, embrace and favor yourself more firmly than anyone else. 