Text: 360-degree psychology understands love and understands you better.
Hello teacher:
At this time, I had already broken up with the extramarital w, and I told my story with a calm and slightly sad heart.
Let's start with my family. I have a husband who is very good to the family, in addition to his low emotional intelligence, he doesn't know how to coax me, he can't speak sweetly, he is very responsible for the family and is very good to the children, most of the time I never do housework, he handles all the big and small affairs at home, so that I can't do many things, such as the car needs to buy insurance, I don't know how to buy.
However, such a husband has a fatal injury to me, his sex is less than a minute, and he has seen a doctor and taken medicine, but it is useless. We walked from the campus to the wedding dress, and we got married when we didn't know anything, and after we got married, we still didn't understand much, and we didn't know how to have children. It wasn't until the seven-year itch that I met him again by accident.
I'll call him Mr. L for now. l is my classmate in college, he is cheerful, enthusiastic, humorous speech, we were divided into a group of internships in college, there was an unspeakable feeling, at that time he asked me to open a room, I refused, at that time I simply felt that I already had a boyfriend, why go with someone else?
It wasn't until I met it later that maybe that feeling suddenly erupted!After having dinner together, he asked me to meet many times, and I had a premonition that something was going to happen, and I desperately refused, but my heart was extremely longing, because he was the type I liked very much, and it turned out that one afternoon, I had a story with him that shouldn't have happened.
Since then, I have had a different experience of sex, and I realized that sex is so wonderful, and I wanted to divorce my husband at that time, while maintaining close contact with him, I talked to my husband about divorce many times, but my husband has always disagreed.
But he made me gradually feel his uncertainty, and he was hot and cold to me, and the worst thing was that he began to play and disappear after he asked me to borrow money, and he became even more cold to me. I didn't get paid for my efforts, and in desperation, I took him to court for not paying back.
We spent two years together, getting together less and leaving more, and for the next five years, he and I had nothing but once a month to collect debts**. After five years of isolation, I found myself insomnia, dreamy, dry and unbearable in my intimate parts, and ......my menstruation was delayed for seven or eight days
I had a lot of symptoms of menopause, but I couldn't find anything, I was ignorant, I saw a lot of doctors, took a lot of Chinese medicine, Chinese medicine treated it as a deficiency of qi and blood, Yang Qi deficiency to treat, Western medicine treated it as a premature heart beat, my body deteriorated, tinnitus almost lost hearing. By chance, I saw an ancient doctor's case of giving women **, and it dawned on me - I turned out to have a serious endocrine disorder.
I panicked, I can live without sex, but I can't live without life, I'm still young, but 40!It didn't take long for me to think of many ways to solve this problem, but I couldn't solve it, and in the end I had to go back to L.
This time he simply talked about the money, how much at a time.
I thought - life is important, and I can't find anyone else for the time being, so let's try it first!Not to mention that since I had sex, my physical symptoms have gradually disappeared, and I was in a bad mood before, but I have also improved, so I look for him once a month.
But in the end, he really didn't want to pay anymore, he was a bottomless pit, repeatedly asked me for money, and told me every day that there were some things without money. Not only that, but when I don't give it, or when he gives less, he is not satisfied, pua me, block and delete, and deliberately turn hot and cold to me. I became more and more desperate and determined to leave.
My daily two-o'clock one-line life pattern makes me unable to contact these people in the society, the circle is pitiful, so I logged in to a dating app and met W, maybe because the relationship is too fast, my purpose is simple and clear, he also needs it, and we quickly got into the right topic.
At first, it was just such a simple sexual relationship, but then it made me gradually become more and more fond of him in his daily chat interactions, I admitted that I tried to see him many times if he was the same as me, so I asked him for a gift, and the result was only an old thing from him, and the cost he gave me every month was only a small red envelope of about 100 yuan.
I plucked up the courage to ask him to borrow money, but the reason was that he thought I was deliberately tempting, and said that I had tried many times, and he was very unhappy and unwilling to borrow, I was very disappointed, completely cold, and my heart became more and more unhappy, but he did not realize it.
He was disrespectful to me, and asked to go to his house on dates, only once because I went to the hotel for my birthday, and if I refused to go to his house, he treated me coldly.
Today I even found out that he kept blocking my mobile phone number (I have two numbers, tell him one number, I call the line is busy, and the other number can be called. I asked him, but he wouldn't admit it. At that moment, my heart was like ashes, and I finally decided to let go, let go of this thought that I shouldn't have, it was wrong from the beginning, and the ending was destined to be not good.
I have a failed marriage, and as a result, there are two failed extramarital relationships, I feel that I am a scum-sucking physique, too weak, too kind, no bottom line to satisfy others, but also gave myself a good lesson, I have to grow myself well in the future, enrich myself.
Thanks to the teachers for their growth and companionship in the past two years. I also look forward to the teacher's guidance on how my marriage will go on and how my life will go on.
My reply: There are often people like you, in a sexless marital relationship, after owing yourself a lot, you really can't stand it, and you find a man outside of marriage, but you are controlled by a man outside of marriage, or ask for money, etc., and you can't separate.
Occasional sex is also important. Why is it important, in order to regulate their bodies, women must learn to save themselves, so that they can get out of some difficulties, when the body has sent you so many signals, what are you still insisting on.
As for men, if he is really that bad, you can't be hungry, there are really many suitable men in the worldCan't make excuses for your laziness,Sometimes, women themselves are just lazy, too lazy to change, too lazy to study, too lazy to socialize, too lazy to grow, and then blame everything on fate and say, I didn't meet the right man, I didn't meet a good man.
Your man outside of marriage, if you ask for money so much, you should have separated a long time ago, there are many men in the world. It's not that you're scum-sucking, it's that you don't understand what you need, and you're lazy.
It's better to be diligent, people also live actively, live a stable life, and the marriage is guaranteed, I believe it is not so difficult to find a sex that suits you. The first thing is that you have to know how to make yourself happy, how to help yourself, and not continue to make yourself uncomfortable.
About author:360-degree view of psychology, psychological supervisor, counselor, psychology lecturer, gender relationship research scholar, emotional writer, deeply engaged in the field of psychology for more than 20 years, focusing on the improvement of women's wisdom, gender cognitive cultivation and intimate relationship building, to improve the modern men and women's sense of belief and cooperation in love and marriage for the concept, based on improving the quality of marriage between Chinese men and women, is committed to making China's marriage and family relations more stable, so that the modern society between the sexes can be healthier and long-term development.