"The Best Decision" I read it with a second-hand kindle and sent this book, after all, many people have recommended it. Today, when Amazon has withdrawn from the Chinese market, I am surprised that it can play such a huge role as a qualified instant noodle cover in my hands.
The book includes essays by 10 writers who have not had children and why they chose not to have children. In this environment of urging marriage and birth, and fear of marriage and childbearing, perhaps this book can give some inspiration to young people who are deeply troubled at present.
These writers give different reasons why they have no offspring, some of them are active choices, and some of them are missed opportunities. There are also people who are a mixture of the two, among which there are many reasons why female writers choose not to have children, of course, it may be that there are more articles by female writers included in the book, some people are because of childhood experiences, some people are worried that they will not be able to be good parents, of course, this may also be related to childhood experiences, and some people give up in order to better focus on their work and focus on the work of writers. There are also people who are almost insensitive to the act of reproducing offspring from birth.
In the article "Total Annihilation", the author's attitude towards the intolerance of children is very similar to my thoughts. The kind of "hegemony of children", the disgust for bear children, and the "childlike innocence" of oneself, in the original text, remarked the expression of becoming an extended adolescence;the social reality that has now become a class solidification, and the faint concern about the environment in which future generations will grow up;These are all in line with my thoughts.
Complete Annihilation is one of the more radical essays in the book, and the language is very sharp, like a roar against the rules that have been carved into the genes of human beings and a rebellion against social discipline. Life is full of responsibilities and obligations for people with children, and nothing is done for the sake of fun. Children have become the source of binding responsibility, and even if you want children, it is said that you are fulfilling the task of blood inheritance, a lie of humanity。So why do people go and do it?Many people in modern times have realized this, but still follow a fixed pattern to complete such a task, why?
The author says "Not only does a hamster love its cage, but it can be overwhelmed without one. That's why children become such a convenient excuse. "It's not sharp. We always give up things in the name of being responsible to others, and we never admit that we have failed or because we are lacking. Before realizing this, the desire has shrunk to the point where it can only manifest itself in the form of responsibility.
This is also the reason why many people complain about the torture and suffering of their original family. Parents are not ready to become parents, not materially and ideologically, but because the parents themselves have not yet recognized and accepted their own shortcomings, they just make a reasonable excuse for the problem, that is, "for the sake of the children". I've heard this quote before,If a child in the family suffers from depression, he will be the least ill of all
The book confesses that the mother will "hate the baby because the child ruthlessly demands everything from her." In the essay "The Worst Fear of Being a Mother", the author says that being a mother makes me feel like a degradation and an evolution at the same time, and the irony is that if I finally feel like I can give my all to another person one day, while still maintaining a part of the self that I have been trying to shape, then I am afraid that by then I am past the childbearing age, so be it.
Most of the pressure on childless writers comes from those who have children, and those who are parents need to prove themselves right, and they need high-sounding reasons to claim that raising children will bring unspeakable satisfaction, endless well-being – like saying that unless you have children, you can't understand what true love is;Or having children is the ultimate goal of life, and so on.
However, true self-acceptance, true liberation, requires a clear recognition of one's own limitations, rather than self-righteous denial of its existence. Women can be self-fulfilling, regardless of whether they have children or not;You don't have to have everything to have a rich enough lifeThis is a fact and should be recognized.