Many classmates often come to me and ask, "Teacher, is there any good way for a man to always be good to me and love me alone?"”
In response to this problem, some smart bloggers on the Internet may say that the more you don't care about this man, the more men will be inseparable from you. This statement cannot be said to be completely wrong, but it has a premise, what premise?
That's the first placeYour self-worth must be sufficient, a man has needs for you, has feelings for you, and he subjectively thinks that you are worth his efforts.
I've told you before, what is human nature?If your own energy is very high, then you don't have to pay special attention to study some skills that make a man inseparable from you, and this man will be willing to be by your side all the time.
Of course, the reverse is also true, if you are not worth enough, even if you use more skills and show that you don't care about him, he still wants to leave. So if you want a man to be inseparable from you, it is very important to maintain your own value.
So how do you do it?I have summarized 3 key points for you.
First, don't be obsessed with testing the other person
If you want a man to be inseparable from you, then you should not pin your hopes on his conscience. What does this mean?It's not that you don't trust men, but that you don't want to be the driving force that causes problems in your relationship.
Before he does anything to hurt or fail you, you should trust him, give him enough trust, and have faith in your relationship. If your relationship was originally good, but because of your own sensitivity and suspicion, you have all kinds of troubles with him, then you have become the driving force behind this.
Of course, it's not that this man can't be tested at all, but there is a premise, that is, it must be within a reasonable range. Like something like "If you were given a few hundred million, would you leave me?"."It's completely out of touch with reality. To put it bluntly, you don't encounter it in your ordinary life, so a test like this is completely meaningless.
In fact, in the process of getting along with a man, there are two lines that run throughout, the bright line is your relationship, and the dark line is the value of both of you. The two are complementary and indispensable. When your values are out of balance, it's like setting your feelings on fire.
At this time, if you add your long-term test, then the relationship will definitely go wrong. Because the last thing that people can withstand is the uninterrupted test, and they will not be able to stand it for a long time. It's a lot like taking an exam, taking the test once and taking the test all the time, is it completely different from what you feel?
The second is value protection
What kind of safeguard law?That is, you have to make sure that your value in this area can be seen and recognized by men. For example, if you usually love traveling, and then you can arrange flowers, these are also your values.
Travel, not to mention that it can definitely improve your realm, but at least you have gone to different places, felt the customs of different places, and increased your own knowledge. And flower arrangement is also a life skill. None of this is worthless.
But men generally don't travel often, and they don't usually buy flowers every day to put at home, so he may not have the opportunity to feel these values of yours, so of course it is difficult to agree.
When dealing with men, in many cases, value is relative, not absolute. So if you have a high value in your own right, but he can't reach it, he may still feel that it's not worth it.
These values can only be called your potential value, that is, you can't use it yet. But if you don't have the opportunity to show it, then it's only for you that the full value is the value.
If there is no value that can be used at the moment, then your overall value may be subjectively devalued by men.
Therefore, if you want a man to be inseparable from you, then in the usual relationship, you need to ensure that your greatest value has a place to play, which is equivalent to protecting your own value. As long as he doesn't subjectively devalue you, then you're worth it to him.
Third, reduce substitutability
In addition to protecting your own value and making the other party feel that you are worthy, it is also very important to reduce your own substitutability and make yourself have special value.
As the saying goes, "rare things are precious", and the same is true in relationships. If this man feels that your value is scarce and you can provide him with value that others can't, then you are precious to him, and he will naturally cherish you more and treat you better.
It's just that no one else can do it, only you can do it. For example, only you can speak to his heart in one sentence and provide him with high emotional value;Only you can sweep away his troubles when he encounters something unhappy;Only you can take good care of the flowers and plants, cats and dogs at home, keep everything in order, and so on.
These are your special values, and they cannot be replaced by others. Maybe when men enjoy these values of yours, they still think it's very ordinary, and it's not a big deal.
But if one day you suddenly withdraw, you go to enjoy your own life, when you are not by his side, he will deeply realize your value, and will know how important you are to him.
So how do you reduce your own substitutability?First of all, you must always insist on improving yourself, making yourself better and better, and at the same time, you must understand the psychology of men, you have to grasp his psychology and needs, so that he feels that you know him best.
For the interpretation of men's hearts, if you don't understand something, I have also issued a set of courses before, which is about male psychology, and students in need can also study and learn, and the lecture is still relatively comprehensive.
When you can do these two things at the same time, you are irreplaceable in a man's heart, then he naturally can't do without you and loves you to death.
Click on the problem When you are confused and lost in your relationship, click on it and take a look!