Despite the argument that talking about money hurts feelings, for couples, especially those who remarry, clear family financial accounts are crucial to trust and affection for each other. Leaving the financial power to his wife is the husband's trust in her. However, if the wife fails to properly handle the finances or even support the family privately, it will inevitably arouse the husband's doubts, sow the seeds of crisis in the marriage, and lead to the breakdown.
Take 66-year-old Brother Lu as an example, he chose a wife who was 13 years younger than him after remarrying. After getting married, Brother Lu handed over the financial power to his wife and entrusted her with his salary card. With Brother Lu's business not doing well, he decided to close down. At this time, Brother Lu began to review the family accounts, hoping to have a clear picture of the financial situation of the past 14 years, so as to better plan for his later life.
What Brother Lu didn't expect was that when he started to check the accounts, he found that his account was only more than 200,000. In the past 14 years, he has paid his salary into this account every month, and he found that he has earned more than 700,000 yuan in total, but now there are only more than 200,000 left in the account.
In 2003, Xiao Chen and I completed the marriage ceremony of remarriage, and I felt extremely happy at that time. After the divorce, I was in a low mood, thinking that I would never find true love again, but I didn't expect fate to arrange an encounter with Xiao Chen for me.
Xiao Chen is 13 years younger than me, she looks young and temperamental, and her personality is also very gentle, which quickly touched my heart. I did not hesitate to take the initiative to pursue her, to be generous to her, as long as it is her favorite, no matter how high the **, I will not hesitate to buy it for her.
Soon after, my sincerity touched Xiao Chen, and we started a beautiful relationship, and soon decided to go to the marriage registration and go to the marriage hall together. When I first got married, I felt as if I was in a honeypot of happiness, and in middle age, I had a gentle and beautiful wife to accompany me and take care of all aspects of me.
In order to express my sincere trust in Xiao Chen, I took the initiative to hand over my salary card to her and entrusted her with the management of the family finances. Xiao Chen was very touched by this, she said: "You trust me so much, and I will definitely live up to expectations!"Don't worry, I'll take care of my finances and won't let you worry about it!”
Hearing Xiao Chen's promise, I was more relieved, and I didn't care about the family's expenses anymore, and left them all to Xiao Chen to dispose of. At that time, I was in the coal business and had an annual income of about 150,000 yuan, so I proposed that Xiao Chen use a ledger to record the family's expenses so that he could have a clear picture of the family's financial situation. Xiao Chen happily agreed, she said: "This idea is very good, a good memory is not as good as a bad pen, and if you have an account book, you are not afraid of not being able to remember the accounts." ”
Xiao Chen is in charge of household chores and bookkeeping, while I focus on working in the coal business to earn income. Although I still doted on Xiao Chen after getting married, I not only gave her my salary card, but also bought clothes and cosmetics, and prepared gifts for her. The reason why I love her so much is because I think Xiao Chen is a virtuous wife who can not only arrange the housework in an orderly manner, but also be good at financial management.
I once checked Xiao Chen's account book and found that she remembers it in great detail, recording every expense every day, so that I can clearly understand the family's financial situation. This further convinced that it was the right decision to hand over the money to Xiao Chen to manage, which not only made me feel more at ease, but also made her feel that I fully trusted her, and in turn cared more about me.
As time went on, my coal business gradually declined, and I also felt that as I got older, my work became more and more difficult. Considering that I have been in business for 14 years, I have accumulated enough money for my retirement, so I decided to retire completely.
I decided to ask Xiao Chen to show me the account book, and wanted to count how much money I have earned in the past 14 years, so as to better plan my retirement life with Xiao Chen. However, unexpectedly, this audit caused a serious crisis in my trust in Xiao Chen, almost putting our 14-year relationship in jeopardy.
Xiao Chen took out the account book that he had been keeping accounts from 2006, but he said with some hesitation: "There is only this one account book left, and the account books from 2003 to 2005 have somehow lost to me." I was very angry at the moment: "How can you be so careless and keep hiding it from me?"”
Xiao Chen responded aggrievedly: "When we moved, I accidentally lost it, since it has been lost, what is the use of me telling you?""I'm a little angry but helpless, the ledger has been lost, what's the point of getting angry?So, I decided to start with another ledger and fill the gap by extrapolating the income from 2003 to 2005.
I carefully checked the accounts for 2006 and found that the annual income for that year was 150,000. Looking back at the period from 2003 to 2005, my coal business was very prosperous, so it is estimated that the total income for these three years was at least 340,000.
As soon as he heard my calculations, Xiao Chen exclaimed excitedly: "There can't be so many!."I calculated every account very clearly, and I remember only making 150,000 in the first three years!”
I looked at Xiao Chen in disbelief: "How can it be that there is only 150,000 in three years, which is a difference of 190,000 from what I said!."In 2006, the income was 150,000!Xiao Chen explained: "Not every year's income is so high, the first three years are slightly worse, and the monthly expenses are also a lot!."”
I don't agree with this, because Xiao Chen's clothes and cosmetics were bought for her out of my own pocket, and she only needs to be responsible for the family's firewood, rice, oil and salt. Her diet and I were relatively simple and light, and it was impossible to spend a lot.
I calculated an account for Xiao Chen: "Suppose you spend one or two thousand a month, and in 14 years, it will only be between 200,000 and 300,000. Xiao Chen exclaimed: "You don't usually go home, you don't know that ** needs to spend money." Not only do I spend money on groceries, but I also spend money on gatherings with my sisters, buying favorite items, and traveling. It costs at least 3,000 a month!”
After listening to this, I was a little speechless. I have always thought that Xiao Chen would not be extravagant, and I usually buy things she likes for her, however, she actually spends more than 3,000 yuan a month, which is really a subversion of my previous consumption habits for her.
Although I was a little dissatisfied, I decided not to quarrel too much with Xiao Chen for the time being. After all, I promised her before marriage that I would not let her suffer after marriage, and the money I earned was meant to make her live well. So, I went ahead and double-checked the ledger and calculated the total income for 14 years, which showed $785,100. However, when I saw the account balance, I was shocked to find that there was only $220,000 left.
This staggering number surprised me and I couldn't get back to it. I've worked so hard to make that money over the past 14 years, how could there be only so much left of it?I began to wonder if Xiao Chen had taken the money for her daughter without permission.
Previously, I had found out that Xiao Chen had borrowed 50,000 yuan to buy a car for her daughter without my knowledge. I asked Xiao Chen at the time: "Why didn't you tell me about the money you gave your daughter?"Xiao Chen explained: "At that time, we were arguing and we were not happy, so I didn't tell you. But my daughter wrote me an IOU promising to pay it off as soon as possible, so don't worry too much about that. ”
At that time, I didn't think much about it, because I had already entrusted the financial power to Xiao Chen, and I had to trust her. However, now that after some auditing, not only did Xiao Chen lose an account book, but also the account balance was only more than 200,000 yuan, and I began to suspect that she might have used the money for her daughter.
After being silent for a while, I said to Xiao Chen, "Do you know why I have to settle the accounts?"Isn't that just to think about your retirement? Now that I have checked my accounts and know how much money I want to leave you for the old age, I can draft a will in advance, so that in the future, if I go first, my children will not have disputes with you over property. ”
Xiao Chen lowered his head and said nothing. I continued: "I carefully calculated, my total salary income in the past 14 years is 785,100 yuan, and it stands to reason that I should still have more than 600,000 yuan in my account, but in fact there are only more than 200,000 left, how do you explain this?”
Xiao Chen's face turned red, and he said indignantly: "It's impossible to have more than 600,000 left!."You don't care about housework and don't know anything about your family's financial situation. I have already told you before, I have to spend more than 3,000 a month, and in 14 years it is more than 500,000, and the total income is more than 700,000, and now there are only more than 200,000 left, isn't this normal?”
I fell silent, and indeed ignored the fact that Xiao Chen just mentioned spending more than 3,000 per month, so that the account only had more than 200,000 left to match the account. However, I still find it difficult to accept this fact, I have worked hard for 14 years to support my retirement, and now I only have so much money left, how can I meet my future pension needs?
Also, I remembered something that made me feel even more unpleasant. I am a diabetic patient who has been suffering from the disease for 10 years, and the initial monthly medication cost was about 100 yuan. Since I was working outside at the time, I didn't have time to buy medicine, so I asked Xiao Chen to buy it for me. Xiao Chen didn't say a word, and immediately bought medicine for me.
As time went on, I had complications of diabetes, and I needed to inject insulin every day, which cost about four or five hundred yuan a month, and more than eight thousand yuan a year. When I asked Xiao Chen to buy insulin for me again, she always shirked and didn't want to go. It made me unhappy that she was only willing to spend a small amount of money for me, but not a large amount of money for me.
The more I thought about it, the more unhappy I felt, so I handed over all my salary to Xiao Chen. I have always lived a frugal life and did not dare to spend money indiscriminately, but Xiao Chen squandered it recklessly. I have always been concerned about her pension problems, but she is very concerned about me, which makes me feel dissatisfied.
I said angrily, "You only have so little money left for our pension!".What do you tell us to do in the future?You are willing to spend money yourself, but you are not willing to spend money for me, and you were reluctant to buy medicine for me before!”
Xiao Chen said angrily, "Why didn't I buy you medicine?"You told me to buy it, didn't I buy it for you right away?I asked her, "That was when my diabetes wasn't serious before, and it didn't cost you much money to buy medicine." Later I had complications and asked you to buy me insulin did you buy it?”
Xiao Chen said angrily: "It's not that I won't buy it for you, your medical insurance card can be reimbursed, why should I spend that unjust money?"You just don't believe me, now you're trying to find fault!”
Xiao Chen said aggrievedly: "I've been married to you for 14 years, you touch your conscience, what do I do to you?"I never let you worry about the affairs of the house, I do all the housework, and I am the only one to serve you when you are sick. You said you were going to take the ledger to keep accounts, and I didn't leave a day behind. I have paid so much for this family, and now you doubt me like this, you don't think of my good at all, you only know how to accuse me!Since you don't believe me so much, I can't stay in this house anymore!”
After saying that, Xiao Chen slammed the door and went out, and he didn't go home until the evening. Later, Xiao Chen's daughter sent a message saying that Xiao Chen lived in her house and told me not to worry.
That night, I couldn't sleep all night. Looking back on the past 14 years, Xiao Chen has really treated me well, taken good care of my diet and daily life, and cleaned up the house neatly and cleanly, she never messed around outside and treated me wholeheartedly.
I remembered what I said to Xiao Chen when I got married: "I am blessed to marry you, and I will let you live a good life in the future." Whatever you want to buy, I'll buy it for you, and I'll spend you as much as you want. ”
Now that I think about it, I didn't keep my promises. When I was not clear about the family's expenses, I speculated and doubted Xiao Chen. Xiao Chen spends more than 3,000 a month, and I suspect her of being extravagant, and I suspect that she gave the money to her daughter without permission, and yelled at her.
I feel a little guilty and don't want to mess with Xiao Chen because of money. After all, in my old age, money is something outside my body, and the important thing is to have someone who knows cold and hot to be by my side, so I decided to go to Xiao Chen's daughter's house, apologize to Xiao Chen, and take her back.
Seeing Xiao Chen, her whole person was a lot haggard, I was very distressed, and took the initiative to admit my mistake and said: "I was wrong, I shouldn't doubt you, since I handed over the money to you to manage, I should believe you, I don't know how expensive firewood, rice, oil and salt are at home, and I blame you indiscriminately, my attitude is very problematic." Trust me, I won't be like this again. ”
Xiao Chen also said with a ashamed face: "I also have things that I don't do well, I usually see things I like, I just can't control the purchase, I overspend every month." I'm trying to get rid of my big money and leave the money to you in the future, do you think?”
I thought about it for a while and said, "Let's do it, we will save the remaining 200,000 yuan with 100,000 yuan each, and we will be financially transparent between the two of us in the future." I won't doubt you anymore, you can spend your money however you want!”
Xiao Chen smiled and said, "Thank you for accommodating me!."I'll tell you where the money is spent in the future, continue to keep the habit of bookkeeping, and let's live a good life together!100 Families Help Program