My daughter is 31 years old this year, and she finally brought her boyfriend who has been in love for two years home on May Day this year. At first, I was quite relieved, but when I learned the basic situation of the boy, I was dissatisfied. Despite my daughter's insistence on marrying him, I felt helpless. Not trusting my daughter enough, I decided to cancel the 1.5 million dowry that had been planned.
My wife and I have only one daughter, and we have been smart and sensible since we were young, and we don't need my wife and me to worry too much about our studies and life.
After graduating from university, my daughter chose to develop in Shenzhen. At the beginning, he worked as a foreign trade salesman, with a monthly salary of five or six thousand yuan, and gradually stabilized after a few years, and his monthly income was about 10k 20k.
After my daughter's career was on the right track, I began to urge her to find a suitable partner. After all, the age of girls is limited, and as they age, the difficulty of finding their ideal partner increases.
Although my daughter verbally promised me, she never took action. Every year when she goes home for the Chinese New Year, she is alone.
Recently, my daughter suddenly brought a boyfriend home, which really surprised my wife and me. This boy is handsome, 1.8 meters tall, graduated from 985 college, and his monthly salary is stable at about 30k. At first glance, I am very happy that I am a good match with my daughter in all aspects.
But when I got to know some of the basics of the boy, I was a little disappointed.
The boy's family is located in a mountainous area of Guizhou, and he is the eldest son in the family, along with two younger brothers and a younger sister.
The boy revealed that he had the opportunity to go to college mainly because he relied on student loans and paid for his living expenses through work-study and part-time jobs.
After learning about the boy's background, I suddenly felt a little distressed. Although our family is not a rich country, I work in a state-owned enterprise, and my wife is a middle-level leader of a foreign company, so I can be regarded as a well-off family.
My daughter has lived in a wealthy environment since she was a child, and she has never even touched the dishes, let alone work-study.
I asked the boy, "Do you plan to buy a house and settle down in ** after you get married?"The boy hesitated for a long time, but said nothing.
Eventually, the daughter said, "Mom, Ah Hao (my daughter's boyfriend) and I decided not to be house slaves, just rent a house." ”
I was a little angry when I heard my daughter's decision, did she understand what she was talking about?
I turned to the boy and asked, "Do you think so too?"Or is it your parents' wishes?”
The boy replied: My mother doesn't feel the need to bear the pressure of buying a house, after all, she is getting older and considering going back to her hometown for development.
And I personally feel that there is a lot of pressure to buy a house with a loan, so it is better to rent a house, and I only need to pay more than 1,000 rents every month.
I was a little upset when I heard this, but I continued to ask, "Considering your age, you may have children soon after you get married, what are your plans for this?"Do you hire a babysitter or do you plan to ask your parents to help take care of the children?”
The boy was in a difficult situation, and he replied in embarrassment: "My parents are very old and not in good health, and I don't want to turn what should be an easy life for them into a hard job of taking care of my grandchildren." ”
At this time, the daughter interjected and said, "Mom, don't worry, it's a big deal that I'll take care of the child myself." ”
Oh my God, my in-laws don't want to buy a house or help with their grandchildren, which is really a good calculation.
And my daughter naively thought that being a full-time mother was such an easy thing
When her husband says, "You eat me, you drink me, and you don't give you pocket money, don't you find a place to cry." ”
This stupid girl really doesn't know how thick the sky is.
In the evening, I called my daughter to my bedroom.
I said to my daughter in a serious tone, "Are you really sure that you want to rent a house all the time after marriage?"It's okay for two people to share a house, but when you have children in the future, do you plan to continue living in a rented house?Have you given it enough thought about the issue of your child going to school?”
The daughter seemed careless and replied lightly: "Mom, didn't you say that you would give me a dowry of 1.5 million?"It doesn't matter, we can buy a house at my in-law's house in the future, after all, sooner or later we will leave Shenzhen and return to our hometown. ”
I sighed, feeling a little disappointed in my daughter's expectations, and said to her sincerely, "Have you considered your dad and me?"After all, you are our only daughter, and you are going to marry so far away, and you have to buy a house there. ”
The daughter responded lightly: "It's okay, Mom, when the time comes, you and Dad can buy a small house in our community, and if you are bored, you can also help us take care of the children." Ah Hao and I will take care of your pension problems. ”
What happened to my daughter next surprised me even more.
I said, "Ah Hao went to college through student loans and part-time support, which means that their family conditions may be relatively limited, and it may be difficult for their in-laws to provide much assistance. And they also have two younger brothers and a younger sister in the family, and they will get married and buy a house in the future, will Ah Hao, as the eldest brother, bear part of the responsibility?”
My daughter's answer made me dumbfounded: "Since I was a child, I have envied the brothers and sisters in my family, and my family is just one child, and it seems lonely." Now I have a younger brother and a younger sister, and it's really lively. And we're all a family, isn't it natural for brothers and sisters to help each other?”
Things have developed to this point that they can no longer be convinced, and the daughter is clearly immersed in love, turning a blind eye to real problems.
In the end, I made a compromise and said to my daughter, "Okay, our family will make half of the down payment and buy a small house in Shenzhen with Ah Hao's family, write your name, and you will be responsible for the mortgage." ”
The daughter anxiously objected: "Mom, don't you think this is too difficult?"Ah Hao's family simply couldn't afford to buy a house. ”
I proposed the second option, which suggested buying a house in our provincial capital, writing my daughter's name as their wedding house, and then returning to develop after they got married.
The daughter said in embarrassment: "This will hurt Ah Hao's self-esteem, and he is not a son-in-law, so he will definitely be unwilling." ”
I shook my head, realizing that my daughter was too deep in her feelings to think rationally. It was decided to abandon persuasion.
I said to my daughter, "If you insist on marrying in Guizhou and you want to buy a house and settle there, then don't expect me to provide a dowry, you can do it yourself." ”
With that, I pushed my daughter out of the room, and that was the end of it.
It's a pity that my daughter is simple-minded and thinks that she can use her dowry to buy a house at her in-law's house, which is really naïve. 100 help plan