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Marriage is a siege, why do some people want to go in, why do some people want to come out?Those who want to get married, pursue a stable and secure life, run a family with their loved ones, and raise children, they will be happy.
However, when they really enter the siege of marriage, they will find that the life inside the marriage is far from the life they want, they are dissatisfied with their marriage, feel that the marriage has affected their development, destroy their emotions, and may start to have the idea of leaving the siege.
When it is easy for a person to have the idea of leaving this marital city, there is no doubt that there is something wrong with the conjugal relationship between him and his partner, and there may be consequences. In fact, the relationship between husband and wife is unstable, but there are 3 reasons, don't believe it!
1.Less together, more apart, is more important than apart.
Gathering less and leaving more, emphasizing interests over separation, will increase the sense of distance between husband and wife.
This can lead to a lot of problems: they are too small in number, too far away, lack of communication, and when they encounter problems, they cannot communicate face-to-face in the first place, which is more likely to cause misunderstandings and suspicions;At the same time, the two have been separated for a long time, do not often participate in each other's life events, and are always absent when the other person needs support and companionship, which makes the relationship between the two increasingly fragile.
Because the two have not been together for a long time, when there are some differences in life, they cannot communicate face-to-face, and many emotional and life problems are not intuitively presented in front of them, making their communication channels "missing", which may produce new contradictions.
After all, husband and wife are married for "needs", if they are separated for a long time, it is difficult to meet each other's needs in a timely manner, whether it is emotional needs or physical needs, if they are not met for a long time and do not get the attention of the other party, it is easy to lose confidence in this marriage.
2.You are too critical and lack tolerance.
In marriage, one party is perfectionist and the other is casual, the former is very demanding of his partner, methodical, likes to set standards, and strives for perfection in everything;The latter, who values independence, is more spontaneous, pursues freedom, does not want to be bound by rules, how to comfort how to come, he is the same as people who value "standards", they may not be completely prepared to do things, do not pursue perfect results.
When two people live under the same roof, they have different attitudes about what to do and what to do, and it's natural for them to disagree.
At this time, if there is no mutual respect, always picking on each other, unwilling to tolerate each other, casually being responsible for each other, casually implying that the other party is not worthy of appreciation, one party's nitpicking will often hit the other party's emotions and self-esteem, and finally often lead to unnecessary quarrels, and finally often cause a "crisis of trust" and "dissatisfaction" between husband and wife. This often causes problems in their married life.
3.People who don't have a sense of boundaries will force others.
In marriage, if the husband and wife do not know how to respect each other's personal space, arbitrarily deny each other's desire for "independence", arbitrarily spy on each other's privacy, express opinions on each other's affairs at will, impose their will on each other, and force each other to listen to themselves, this will make the other party feel "offended", "not respected", and "not understood", and the two are prone to conflict.
Some couples lack a sense of boundaries in their married life, always forcing others to do things they don't want to do, which will naturally lead to boredom on the other side, which often undermines the stability of the relationship.