Hello everyone, I'm Mu Ziyi!
Today is the last day of 2023, 2023 is about to pass and become history, today I will summarize my 2023.
This year is both sad and unforgettable, there are hardships and tiredness, and more is the harvest and breakthrough in growth.
This year, I have made a lot of attempts and changes, and I have begun to wake up and insist on input and output, which has gained the love of many readers.
A few days ago, I chatted with a few mothers downstairs and talked about wanting to do something of my own while taking the baby.
A mother said, "You still want to do your own thing with three, I can't do anything with one, you still want to do your own thing, at least until your child goes to high school and college." ”
I could only smile and be glad I did.
This year, more than 60 original articles have been output intermittently, plus reading notes, an article is calculated according to a guaranteed minimum of 2,000 words, and a note is 300 words, with a cumulative output of 150,000 words.
It can be said that in 2023, my key words are to explore inward, grow upward, socialize outward, slowly build my own social support system, and build a stable self-core.
The following is a 12-question Q&A format to summarize my 2023.
Q1: Boast about the best decision you've made this year
2023 is the fastest growing year I've had in the previous 30 years, and the best decision I've made this year
1.Stick to waking up early to read and write
In February of this year, I began to make up my mind to change myself through reading and writing.
At present, except for when the child is sick, I don't get up at 5 o'clock, and the rest of the time is basically to get up at 5 o'clock in the morning to read books and write articles.
**Intermittently updated more than 60 original articles, simultaneously posted in the headlines, Baijia number, and there have been 600,000 hits, which is a small change on the road to growth.
2023 is not only the first year of my awakening, but also the first year of my change, and I hope that I can continue to make progress and iteration on this road, and continue to grow.
2.Join a community that pays to learn to write
This year, I started a paid learning journey, and bought Mr. Congee's writing community, Mr. Peanut's popular knowledge planet, and books about personal mental growth, parenting, and psychology.
In general, it is purchased on demand according to my actual situation, and I will simplify the paid learning and reduce internal friction.
I've bought a lot of courses before, but the more I buy them, the more anxious I become, and I can't calm down to study when there are more courses.
Now I can register for classes according to the needs of the moment, but I can learn and absorb better.
3.Turn "internal friction" into "antifragility".
When my mother-in-law first returned to her hometown the year before last, I was extremely anxious and internally strife, and my emotions were also very unstable.
I always thought that I couldn't bring three children by myself, and when two people brought them, they couldn't imagine how to live.
Last year was even worse, to make matters worse, my dad had a stroke in his hometown and didn't take care of him.
My relatives at home suggested that I take my three children back to my hometown to take care of my father.
At that time, I was so anxious that I couldn't sleep every day, worrying about my father and taking care of young children at the same time, and I was really weak.
Later, by constantly reading books and constantly seeking inward, I enriched myself.
I understand that only by taking care of myself can I take better care of my family.
Now, in the face of this impermanence of life, I can finally face it with a calm attitude, instead of blindly being anxious and internally exhausted.
Now, I can not only take care of my children at the same time, but also continue to read and write, enrich myself, and strengthen my future career direction.
A year before I had read and written, I would never have imagined such a change.
You may also be depressed in constant internal friction, and those bad consequences are unimaginable.
This is the most effective way to reduce internal friction and enhance one's anti-fragility ability with practical actions.
4.I opened social media and connected to a lot of people on the same frequency
Since the second half of this year, I have reopened the social circle that has been closed for a long time, and took the initiative to connect with many writers on the same frequency, but I still did not do it well, and I will continue to optimize it next year.
5.Finally found their own stable kernel
This year, I have been struggling with my positioning, but now I have finally found my own positioning, insisting on outputting valuable content in the field of parenting, and sharing my experience and thoughts in parenting.
After more than 30 years of being a human being, I finally found the meaning and value of my life.
I am grateful for the continuous learning and hard work, and continue to work hard
Q2: What are the books or movies that have memorably memorized you have read this year?
This year, I started to combine input and output, and the input is mainly reading, supplemented by listening to books;The output is mainly through writing *** articles.
My reading list revolves around personal growth, homeschooling, writing, and a small number of literary books.
The book I read the most impressive this year is "Cognitive Awakening" by Mr. Zhou Ling, which made me awaken and embark on the road of inward exploration and self-change, which is a very inspiring book for me.
Every point of view in the book made me feel empowered, let me who was deeply confused and anxious, let me who was awake and asleep, as if I had suddenly been poured a basin of ice water, woke me up after a long "sleep".
It can be said that this book is my book of awakening, and 2023 is also the first year of my awakening.
I'm very thankful that at the beginning of the year, I read this book.
There is also a parenting book that touched me very much, which is "Understanding Children's Emotions" by Teacher Zhu Fangyi.
I only started reading this book recently, and I have only read the first part so far, and I haven't finished it yet, but I was also very shocked.
After reading this book, I also reflected on the impact of my emotions on my children over the years, and the fact that a large part of my emotional anxiety may be in my family of origin, which I did not realize.
Therefore, next, we should study the theories and methods in the book, change ourselves, learn better emotional management methods, be an emotionally stable mother, and give our children an emotionally healthy family environment.
As for movies, I rarely watch them this year, because there are 24 hours of one drag and three, and there is very little free time to watch movies in the whole block.
There is no way to solve this problem at present, I can only wait for the child to go to kindergarten and have more free time, and then watch some classic good movies.
Q3: What are your attempts at studying this year?What new skills have you learned?
This year, I have made a lot of changes in my busyness, and I have made the following attempts in learning:
1.Learn by waking up early every day to read a book, and the main way of reading is thematic reading.
For example, during this time, I mainly read books about emotions, read on demand, and if I encounter any problems in life, I will go to books to find answers.
2.Complete the closed loop of learning through writing output.
Since February this year, I have updated *** articles from time to time to slowly find my own positioning.
3.Participate in knowledge payments and learn from other people's experiences by learning from people who are good in some fields.
What new skills have you learned?
The reading speed is much faster than before, and the most important thing is to be able to connect many knowledge points, just like weaving a net, and slowly building your own knowledge system.
I have written more, my thinking has gradually gained depth and breadth, and the speed of writing articles has also become much faster, and I will continue to strengthen it next year and deliberately practice my writing ability.
There are many things, such as unexpected situations, free life, more calm and self-confidence, and I believe that I have the ability to solve any problem.
For example,When dealing with child-rearing issues, I can do that I have "food" in my hands and do not panic.
The above are some of the changes that have occurred in learning this year, and I hope to continue to increase the breadth and depth of my learning in 2024
Q4: Make a list of the things you did this year that gave you a sense of accomplishment
The most rewarding thing to do in 2023:
1.Because I have developed the habit of getting up early every day to read, it has also affected the child, and the child has developed the habit of reading every day;
2.In the year with the strongest antifragility ability, I can still insist on updating the official account article in the case of 24 hours of delay.
3.Because of his insistence on learning attitude and perseverance, he slowly gained the support and affirmation of his teammates.
4.Through writing and reading, as well as continuous learning and adjustment, I slowly found my place.
Q5: Who would you like to be grateful for the most this year?
The person I want to be grateful for the most this year is, of course, myself first.
I am moved by my insistence on studying hard, continuing to grow, and being a lifelong growth mother, and I am happy to grow and progress together with my children.
Thank you for your efforts and awakening this year, as well as the changes you have made, which have affected the children and the whole family.
Secondly, I would like to thank my teammates, who are my strongest support.
I was really touched by the fact that I was given pocket money and supported to pay for my studies when my family was in such a difficult financial situation.
I talked to him about my plans to get a certificate as a home education instructor in 2024.
There may also be some other paid courses, and he also expressed his support and told me to cheer me on, and I am grateful to have such supporters.
In addition, under the influence of my insistence on reading, he has recently started to read books, but only to read some of his favorite history books.
Still, it's a big step forward.
After all, if a person who swipes his mobile phone every day after work immediately picks up a tool book to read, it is very likely that he will not be able to read it.
Perhaps these history books were the "home run" books that opened his reading and learning.
Third, I would like to thank my three children.
It is because of you that I have begun to explore my own path of awakening, to become your light, to be your best example.
Because of my change, you have also become children who read books every day.
I believe that we who love learning will get better and better in the future, work together and go to a better place in both directions
Finally, I would like to thank my dad and relatives.
In the past few years, you have given me a lot of support and help, both financially and spiritually, and you are the warmest harbor in my life.
I wish us all the best, health and safety!
Q6: Have you made any new friends this year?
I have been a full-time mother for three years, and this year I finally reopened my long-closed social circle and took the initiative to connect with a lot of people with the same frequency.
In the first two years, I basically didn't post Moments, and Moments was also set up to be visible for 3 days.
In the second half of the year, through reading, I saw a point of view that touched me very much:
Everyone does not exist in isolation, and everyone has to build their own social support system.
I understand that the social support system is to connect with others, broaden your network, and make good connections.
Therefore, since then, I have taken the initiative to connect with many people who are on the same frequency as me, there are many big names in the writing circle, there are friends who also love writing on the self-** platform, and there are also mothers who also love to read in the field of parenting.
These friends who have reconnected this year are all classmates and friends who did not know each other before, and there are not a few classmates and friends who went to school before, and none of them are even learning to write.
But this shows that my understanding of learning is ahead of theirs, and I may not see any change in a short period of time, but after three or five years, my growth will definitely be doubled.
Sticking to the hard but right thing is the most correct and determined thing I have done this year.
Q7: What are some unforgettable memories with your family this year?
This year, the whole family went back to visit my father on May Day.
My dad had a stroke in March last year, and I, as his only daughter, couldn't be by his side for him, which is a feeling of guilt for him all along.
Therefore, since last year, I have discussed with my teammates and take turns to go back to our hometown during the holidays, because our hometowns are far away and we can't take care of a holiday, so we can only separate.
After the stroke, my father seems to have lost a lot of weight, and after doing ** in the hospital, he recovered well when he went home, but he fell again at home, which was equivalent to a second stroke, so the recovery was far from being as good as the first time.
Now I can only push a shelf and walk slowly, one foot is not too strong, and I can still go to play at home after returning home from the first stroke, but now I can't go there.
At first, I wanted to ask him to come to live in my city, but he was reluctant, and I understand, after all, the old man has lived in the countryside all his life and is used to his hometown, and there is no one to talk to here.
My small family is also a mess, my mother-in-law has something to go back to my hometown, I take three children by myself, if I go back to take care of him, the children will not be watched, Dabao goes to school to pick up, the little two are also waiting to be fed, I really felt too difficult at that time.
Fortunately, I survived the back, and my father can now take care of himself, so I call ** every once in a while to go back and chat with him.
Since the beginning of this year, I no longer have internal friction, and I have begun to slowly use the fragmented time with the baby to study, explore inward, take care of myself, and take care of my small family, so that I can have more energy to take care of our people.
I hope that in the coming days, my family will be safe and healthy, and I will be happy every day
Q8: What is the one that has influenced you the most this year?
This year, I heard a sentence in Mr. Zhao Jian's live broadcast room that made me feel empowered, and it was also the sentence that had the greatest impact on me:
When people get along with each other, try to give more than they want.
It means that you will always give more to others than they give to you.
How do you give more than you want?
I combined the lessons of Teacher Congee and what I learned from Teacher Congee, and summarized the following two points:
1.Know how to empathize
The greatest goodness in human nature is to know how to "empathize".
Teacher Congee has mentioned the word "empathy" many times in the live broadcast room, but it is easier said than done, and there are not many people who can really empathize.
On the day of the Double 11 event, I originally bought the writing community in Mr. Peanut's group, and later there were many friends in the group who resold the writing community and the growth community in the group.
I added a few people to consult, I talked to one of them, and planned to return what I bought from him, and then I went to work on the child until I put the child to sleep without looking at the phone.
When I woke up the next day, I generally didn't have time to look at WeChat, and I didn't open WeChat to deal with WeChat messages until I came back for breakfast after sending my children to kindergarten.
As a result, I saw a message from the person who had a good conversation last night: "If you are sure to buy it from him, pay a small deposit first." ”
Later, he said, "If I don't buy it, he will give it to one of his classmates." ”
In the end, seeing that I hadn't replied, the other party sent a sentence, "If you don't buy it, at least you should reply to a message." ”
The next day I sent the child home, I saw his message and immediately replied to him, sorry, I didn't read WeChat last night when I put the child to sleep, and it turned out that the other party had blocked me.
Later, another partner in the group found me and resold it to me with the same **, without saying that he would pay a deposit or anything, and we happily closed the deal the next day.
At about ten o'clock in the evening of the second day, Mr. Peanut came to me and said that he saw me buy a writing community in the group, but he couldn't find my name on the knowledge planet.
I also took the child to sleep that day, and I didn't come back in time.
I got up the next morning and replied to her and told her that I was sorry, because of the limited economy and time, I had already returned and bought it from my friends in the group.
I was particularly touched by what Teacher Peanut said, she said that it was okay, just choose what suits you at the moment.
I was warmed by Mr. Peanut all of a sudden.
Mr. Congee is also a person who has achieved the ultimate in empathy, which is one of the things I admire very much.
Once at the end of the live broadcast, he said to his assistant, there is nothing to do now, you can go and rest, and I will broadcast it for a while.
Someone on the public screen praised Mr. Congee for being a good boss.
People who can empathize are really very kind, people with great love, and a big pattern.
Teacher Peanut and Teacher Congee are both teachers who are particularly worthy of my follow, and this is the influence of IP.
2.The ultimate in altruism
Those who love love to return, and those who are blessed are blessed, you are helping others, and when you are extremely altruistic, you are also quietly benefiting yourself.
Although I can't do the ultimate altruism yet, I think I will stick to the principle of "extreme altruism" and insist on doing the ultimate altruistic thing.
Teacher Congee and Teacher Peanut are idols who I anchored to achieve the ultimate altruism.
I hope that every year in the future, I will learn from these two big idols.
Q9: Are there any highlights of this year?How did you create your own highlights?
The highlight of this year was when I wrote a 6A small hit with 80,000 reads, the comment area has also received feedback from many users, and of course, it is also an affirmation of my insistence on writing output this year.
How do I create my highlights?
In a word: "Insist on writing, insist on sharing sincerely." ”
Although I couldn't do it every day, I kept writing, and although I occasionally cut off for a week or two because of my child's illness, I never gave up writing and reading.
Flowing water does not compete for the first, and what is earned is endless.
I know that writing is a long-term thing, and as long as I keep writing and don't give up, I can see hope.
There are still a lot of things I don't do well enough about the skill of writing, and I still need to keep practicing deliberately.
Even when the children are in kindergarten next year, I want to enroll in a porridge teacher's writing class to overcome writing, special training, and progress faster.
In the next 2024, we must work harder, continue to keep writing, and keep writing.
As the writer Zheng Yuzhen said in "The Courage to Stick Down": "Maybe it is impossible to earn a house by writing, and it is impossible to recover the lost love." But because of his hard work, he met his own hot heart. ”
I wish you, who also love words, will eventually meet the hot self in your heart
Q10: When was the lowest point of the year?How did you get out of the slump?
In fact, the past few years should be regarded as my trough period, but what really got me out of the trough and no longer had internal friction was this year.
Last year, my father had a stroke, which made it even worse for us who were already sad.
I couldn't go back to take care of my child when he was young, and I was a full-time mother by myself, so I had no sense of self-worth and no financial support, which was very sad.
Fortunately, since the beginning of this year, I have stopped self-internal friction, and I have begun to read some books on personal growth, psychological parenting, etc., and slowly stabilized my self-core.
Although I didn't make any money from reading and writing this year, at least I didn't have the same self-consumption as before.
I also began to have a sense of strength, and I was more determined about how to go in the future, and I was not as confused and anxious as before.
For these changes I have made this year, I think the main reason is this:
1.Read the input
2023 is the first year of my awakening, and it is also the beginning of my change, and all these changes are brought about by reading.
Reading not only gave me great spiritual support, but also gave me the courage and confidence to face hardships.
2.Writing output
Writing output is also one thing that I have only started to insist on this year.
In the past, my mother-in-law was helping with the children, but I felt that I was very busy and had no time to study and read, but now I am alone 24 hours a day, and I still have time to read and write articles, which is incredible.
A big reason is that I put this important but not urgent thing first, and I did it every day as if I were eating and drinking, and I developed a habit.
3.Paid learning
In this era, learning from cattle people is the best shortcut to success. Learning from their experience will allow you to avoid a lot of unnecessary detours.
Maybe you have grown up with a lot of confusion, which others have encountered, if you need to make rapid progress and grow, you only need to pay to learn from them.
Of course, because my own personal time is very small, and only the children's sleep time can be used for studying, I only enrolled in a few courses that I need at the moment this year, and I can't learn more than I can't learn.
Only choose the fine, what you need at the moment, calm down and learn slowly, and you will definitely learn what you need.
The above is my mental journey in and out of the trough this year, I hope it will be useful to you.
Finally, I just want to say that when people are confused and at a low point, the most suitable thing to do is actually to read.
This is the most effective way to gain a sense of strength on a spiritual level, and this is also the method shared by Hu Ge.
Q11: What are some of your experiences in making money today?
In the past few years as a stay-at-home mother, I really don't have much experience in making money, because the economic income is almost negligible.
Many times, I think that I have done a good job if I can take care of three babies, so can I still have the energy to make money?
But I think that making money is the same as writing, which has the attribute of long-termism.
What you need to think about is whether you want to make some money in a short period of time, or if you want to keep getting money.
If you want to make money in a short period of time, there are still many opportunities.
For example, now Xiaohongshu has dividends, and you can earn traffic income by writing popular articles, or do some part-time jobs that can make money quickly.
If you want to make money in the long run, you need to find a way to increase your income after sleeping.
How can you make an income after sleeping?
I think the best thing for ordinary people is writing.
By writing, you can repeat your skills and time at the same time**.
Writing is a skill that can be learned by ordinary people.
Exercise your writing skills and combine the same work at the same time** many times.
That is, through the skill of writing, what you have learned, what you know, and what you are good at, packaged into a content product.
For example, in the current era, if you write an article, you can send it to various platforms, or you can send the opinion of the article to the short schedule, or do a live broadcast to share with users.
This is the way to make a time ** many times, and this way is also the lowest cost.
This will be the direction of my efforts in the future.
Q12: What are the new attempts and breakthroughs in your work and career this year?
Stay-at-home moms are not qualified to talk about work and career, my daily job is to bring a good baby, haha, just kidding.
This year, in addition to taking care of the baby, I can still "take care of some of the work I want to do", and this year I have made some new attempts and breakthroughs in the busy baby.
Learn by getting up early every day to read books, and the main way of reading is thematic reading, for example, during this time, you mainly read books about emotions, read on demand, and if you encounter any problems in life, you will go to the book to find answers.
Complete the closed loop of learning through writing output. Since February this year, I have updated *** articles from time to time to slowly find my own positioning.
Participate in knowledge payments and learn from other people's experiences by learning from people who are good in some fields.
I have connected a lot of people with the same frequency, there are big guys who love writing with the same love, classmates, and a mother who does not give up self-growth with a baby, and I have also absorbed a lot of energy and experience from these people.
What are the breakthroughs?
The reading speed is much faster than before, and the most important thing is to be able to connect many knowledge points, just like weaving a net, and slowly building your own knowledge system.
I have written more, my thinking has gradually gained depth and breadth, and the speed of writing articles has also become much faster, and I will continue to strengthen it next year and deliberately practice my writing ability.
In the face of many things, such as unexpected situations and the gratuity of life, I have more calmness and self-confidence, and I believe that I have the ability to solve any problem.
For example, when dealing with child-rearing issues, make sure that you have "food" in your hands and don't panic.
The above is the attempt and breakthrough this year, I hope you are inspired, and in the next 2024, I will continue to increase the breadth and depth of my learning.
Come on, just to meet that beautiful self
2024 is coming, I wish you all a happy new year
—end—
Author: Mu Ziyi, a post-90s mother with a baby in one hand and a code word in the other, loves to read and write, specializes in child developmental psychology, and focuses on women's personal growth, I hope my sharing will be helpful to you