In the process of raising children, there will always be times when there will be emotional breakdowns, and in the face of children's mischievous and vexatious trouble, parents may collapse in minutes.
In life, many parents will make their children obedient and sensible by yelling at their children, but in fact, this method will not play the role of education at all, but will cause some ***
1. The personality becomes irritable
Parents often yell at their children, and children think that this is the best way to deal with problems. Invisibly, in fact, parents have already established a bad image of "irritable" for their children.
When children grow up, when they encounter unhappy things or setbacks, they will solve problems in the same way, and their personalities will naturally become irritable.
2. Poor language comprehension
Teicher, an associate professor at one of the top psychiatric hospitals in the United States, led a team to analyze the brains of young adults who had experienced verbal violence from their parents.
He found that the connection between their Wernicke's zone (which is mainly responsible for understanding spoken language) and the prefrontal lobe (which plays an important role in the regulation of people's thinking and behavior, and is closely related to intelligence) was reduced, which may be associated with verbal violence.
And the fewer connections between these two areas, the worse a person's language comprehension skills.
Teicher also found that people who were often subjected to verbal violence from their parents as a child had a linguistic IQ (representing the ability to read, write, and converse) to score only 112, compared to 124 for those who were not subjected to verbal violence as a child.
Teicher argues that these people who are victims of verbal violence are not reaching their linguistic potential.
The more you yell, the more your child's heart hurts.
The results of a survey by Wall Street** showed:
Children who were yelled at by their parents as children are more likely to have depressive tendencies when they grow up.
Because their hearts are bruised by their parents' yelling and scolding, and they do not receive the love and respect they deserve, they will gradually close their hearts.
In severe cases, he will think that the world has no meaning for him, because his family treats him like this, and he can't see hope, so he uses extreme means to end his life.
In addition to depression, children also face negative emotions of low self-esteem.
According to the book "Family of Origin", verbal abuse can not only damage a person's self-perception, but also have a serious negative impact on one's own way of life and self-worth.
Therefore, the child will become more and more cowardly and inferior in the yelling and scolding of his parents, and feel that he is a complete failure.
Parents want to learn a gentle way of parenting, this set of parenting classics is very instructive, this set of books is a family parenting education book that many parents choose, very typical, and at the same time very practical.
There are a total of 5 volumes in this set of books, each with a different theme, each book has a very classic parenting case, and there are also many practical parenting theories and suggestions for parents to better educate their children and cultivate children with ability, self-cultivation and good character.
A good character makes a child use for life":
Using the Carnegie concept of communication, we help children develop a confident and generous personality through peaceful communication.
It's better to listen to your child than to say it to your child
This book was shortlisted as one of the 100 high-quality family education books recommended to parents by the Chinese Family Education Association.
It expounds the 4** rules that parents should pay attention to in the communication with their children, and provides parents with ways to read with their children.
Teach parents to put themselves in their children's shoes, look at problems from their children's perspectives, understand their children's ideas, and improve the efficiency of communication.
Positive Discipline:
This book helps parents get rid of the way they only "yell" at their children, so that parents can learn to deal with their children's problems in a gentle, rational, and low-pitched way, so that communication becomes more effective.
A good mother is better than a good teacher
This book is a tutoring bible for Chinese mothers, teaching parents the theory and methods of rational communication, so that the relationship between parents and children is closer.
Good Parents Don't Roar or Scream":
Teach parents to raise their children in a way that does not yell or scream, learn to respect their children, and also teach children to respect their parents, be grateful to their parents, and so on.
Marshall Luxemburg, a well-known psychologist, said: "We may not think that our way of talking is violent, but it is true that language often causes pain for ourselves and others." ”
Children want to get understanding, encouragement and love from their parents, not endless yelling, in order to let children develop better, parents should learn how to Xi gentle parenting, this set of books is very practical.