1. My sister has a boyfriend. Yesterday, my mom asked my sister, "Why does he like you?"The younger sister said, "He thinks I'm pretty and gentle." Mom asked, "Then why do you like him?"My sister said, "I just like him and think I'm beautiful and gentle." ”
2 I read an article that has a very philosophical sentence that I particularly like: freedom is not about doing what you want, but not doing what you don't want to do!After dinner, I recommended this wonderful sentence to my wife to enjoy, and she slapped the table with a slap: Why do you want to brush the bowl with so much!
3. There is a teacher in the school, and the family has an ancestral Chinese medicine tradition. When the students in the class were sick and asked for leave, he would take a look first, and some of them would even prescribe some medicine. Those who want to pretend to be sick and ask for leave can't pass the test at all, and slowly affect the children in other classes, and finally were reported by students *** as illegal medical practice!
4 husband's friend, a little sexy, once he played mahjong with a few friends, one of them was a woman wearing a short skirt, the woman was also a bit of a female man, the two goods had been staring at others, but the female man was anxious, the skirt was pulled up, and said big brother I wear safety pants, don't look at it. Next to us, we directly suffocated to internal injuries.
5A man waits anxiously in the waiting room for his wife who is in labor. After a long time, a smiling ** came out with a stroller with three babies. The man looked at the three babies carefully, and said solemnly to **: "I want the middle one." ”
6. After lunch, the leader said: "Now give me a bed, I can sleep until the heavens are desolate" I whispered: "That's not a bed, that's a coffin." "Don't talk about it, I'm going to work hard, and my face is still swollen.
7 Mr. Li has a successful career, but he has delayed his lifelong events. He decided to publish a marriage notice in the newspaper, and the marriage notice was very well written, but Mr. Li was still not at ease, so he called Manager Wang of the Personnel Department. "I'm sorry, please help me change it. You often write job postings and have experience. Manager Wang didn't dare to slack off, he looked at it several times, couldn't find any fault, considered and considered, and finally added a sentence to the marriage notice: "Experience is preferred." ”
8 In Guangzhou, a taxi driver tries to communicate in Mandarin in order to make tourists from the north feel comfortable. But his Mandarin is mixed with a thick Cantonese accent, which makes the conversation full of jokes. The tourists were amused to laugh, and finally used mobile phone translation software to help communicate, and the two completed a pleasant trip in laughter.
9 Walking on the road with my little cousin, I saw a handsome guy, and I was crazy in an instant, and then the little cousin said, "Sister, you are waiting for me to help you ask for his mobile phone number" and instantly felt that my brother was also sensible. As a result, after a while, the handsome guy came up to me and said, "Beauty, can you take care of your children?"He pulled me by clothes and said that if he didn't give me his mobile phone number, he would call the police and say that I had abducted and sold children."
10 "Mom, am I your own?"”
Yes, definitely. "Then I want to change my phone. ”
It snowed so hard that winter that I heard a movement in the trash can next to me as I was on my way with ......”
Mom, I'm rich!”
I went over with your dad and looked, oh, it turned out to be a dog......”
But there are still two thousand left!”
The dog has your ...... in its mouth”
11 The young couple quarreled, and the husband rested after dinner. The wife walked to the bed and found a piece of paper on the small table next to it, which read, "boy, wake me up at seven o'clock in the morning." —-Daddy. The next morning, my husband woke up to find it was almost eight o'clock. When I looked up, I saw an extra piece of paper on the table, which read, "Dad, get up, it's seven o'clock." —-Child.
When I was 12 years old, my father and I once went to the wilderness, passing through a ditch that was not very wide, and my father took a step over, and I hesitated. My father stretched out his right hand to me and said to me, "Son, jump over here, there will be a miracle", and then the miracle did happen, my front tooth knocked out!
13 Q: What is the thing you have been doing for the longest time?
A: Charge your phone every day!