1 brothers reunited, after drinking, he drunkenly said, "In the future, as long as I have a mouthful of to eat, you will have a mouthful of urine to drink." I was moved: "As long as you can eat enough, it doesn't hurt if I'm thirsty."
2Since the first time I went to my girlfriend's house, my mother-in-law was cooking there, and I thought that I would have to be polite and polite, so I said: Auntie, I'll do it!Who knew that the mother-in-law directly put the shovel down: That's okay, come on!To this day, I cook at his house, and since then I have embarked on a road of no return.
3 The absent-minded professor fell ill and had to be admitted to the hospital. When the doctor came to the door of his ward, he said, "Professor, the doctor is here." The poor professor snorted and said, "Tell him I can't see him now." I was so sick. ”
4 asked a girl to go out to play, and took a taxi after coming out of the mall, but I didn't expect the eldest brother who was driving to see us and smiled and said, "Yo, another one?"."I'm going to get angry when I hear it, do I know you?Slandering me like that?Just when I turned my head and tried to explain to my sister that this guy was a psychopath, I saw my sister nod shyly to the big brother.
5 When I went to the hospital for a physical examination, the doctor took my report and said, "Fortunately, you came early." When I broke out in a cold sweat, the doctor said unhurriedly: If it's too late, I'll be off work.
Doctor, can you finish the sentence in one breath, it's scared of you if you're not sick.
6 Xiao Wang said: I have a VIP card for this hotel, and they give me a 20% discount. Xiao Chen said: I am an acquaintance with my boss, and they gave me a 6% discount last time. Dumb said: I don't have a VIP card, I don't know the boss well, and I forgot to bring money, but after eating, they called me'Fractures'。
7. There is a champion dog in Guti's house, and he wins ...... dog fights everywhereWhether it's domestic ............ abroad
Therefore it is arrogant ......Provoke other dogs and bark at them ......
One day, Guti led the champion dog on the road and walked ......
Seeing Raul leading a large dog, Guti's champion dog ran over and barked again.
Guti thought to himself: Wouldn't it be majestic if my champion dog defeated Raul's dog?
So he said to Raul, "How about having my champion dog fight your dog?"”
Raul: "This ......Not good".
Guti: "It's okay, if it does hurt your dog, I'll stop it." ”
Raul: "Still not good. ”
While the two of them were discussing, the two dogs fought, and as a result, the champion dog was defeated miserably, and the defeat was extremely ......embarrassing
Guti asked with a look of astonishment, "Raul, what kind of dog is this?"”
Raul: "Well, before it was plucked, people called it a lion." ”
8 Others have a cheerful personality, which may be due to a well-to-do family, a happy life, outstanding appearance, or a smooth love. And the reason for my cheerful personality is simple: because I have a bad memory, I often forget my troubles.
9 On the subway, a man felt that the girl opposite was very familiar, so he kept staring at him.
The girl was bored and asked, "What are you looking at?"”
The boy said, "I think you are very familiar, like my former girlfriend." ”
The girl said angrily: "What do you mean, I am your former girlfriend." ”
The boy was stunned ......Haha!
10 I worked with my girlfriend outside for seven years and bought a small house of more than 80 square meters. It's going to be renovated, and I asked my girlfriend what style she wants to decorate after renting a house for so many yearsMy girlfriend came directly: What style is not styled, just buy a good bed.
11One night, Xiaomei took a taxi home, and when she got into the car, she saw the apples on the car and said to the driver: I also liked to eat apples when I was alive.
When the driver heard this, cold sweat immediately came out, and he only heard Xiaomei say faintly: After giving birth, I rarely eat.
12 "Drunk, will your wife let you into the house?"”
Of course not, I often sleep on the couch!”
Haha, my wife is also against me drinking, but I can still get in. ”
How do you do that?”
Did I tell you the trick?”
What's the trick?”
It's just prying the door!”