Early in the morning, girl, depressed, heavily medicated.
After washing her stomach, her mother asked, "Will I be able to go to school tomorrow?"
Note: It's early morning.
This is the duty diary of Da Xu of @ Emergency Department.
He sighed,If a child has psychological problems, adults must also see a psychiatrist.
I have been doing consulting work in primary and secondary schools for many years, and I also have a deep experience:
When a child is sick, it is often because the parents were sick first.
In particular, these 3 types of parents are the most likely to put their children in a psychological crisis.
Emotionally fragile parents, children are depressed and painful
There is a topic discussion on Weibo about children raised by irritable parents. It sparked 300,000 views, more than 20,000 discussions, and every word was bloody and tearful. It has been said that it is always pleased;It is said that cowardly and sensitive;Some people say that the heart represses the pain ......One of the comments made me feel very poignant:"They're right, but I'm already bruised. ”Emotional parents may not be directly abusing their children. But the "nameless fire" that was wantonly spilled left a permanent scar in the child's heart. In my teen depression bootcamp, I met quite a few such kids. Some families are more extreme. There was a boy who said to me the first thing he saidI want to grow up quickly and leave home early. 」His dad was impatient, irritable, and lost his temper over trivial things at every turn. often laughs one second and scolds the next. Sometimes I get angry at work, and when I get home, my dad vents it on him. He became his father's emotional trash can, incapable of neither resisting nor digesting. The negative emotions that have accumulated over the years cannot be resolved, so they have to attack inward. Over time, there will be psychological problems. Research from the University of Rochester in the United States shows that:If parents have a high level of "emotional stress", their children will have significantly more frequent illnesses than other children. Educating children with emotions will consume children's energy and make them lose their vitality. 
Narcissistic parents,The child loses himself
What is a narcissistic parent?The psychological interpretation is -Treat your children as an extension of yourself, make them a microcosm of them, and obey them. The typical presentation is,Under the banner of "for the good of the child", the practice of control. These parents may not necessarily beat and scold their children, and even show that they love their children very much. The 17-year-old girl @Gaga doesn't eat meat has complained bitterly:Mom, you killed me with your own hands. Growing up, Mom focused all her attention on her. She was born in poor health, and her mother didn't leave a single episode of health hall in order to take care of her. On the first day of junior high school, she chose to stay, and her mother was worried that she would not eat well, so she chased after her with rice noodles. Later, he simply rented a room next to the school to accompany him for six years. It seems that her mother has put all her heart and soul into it, but in fact, she only has herself in her eyes. felt that eating eggs was good for the body, so he forced his daughter to eat one every day. In order to gain the respect of others, she stared at her daughter and applied for 40 orientation teachers. Let her daughter learn guzheng, broadcasting, dancing, electronic piano ......is to want her daughter to get ahead for herself. She loves her children in her own way, and as for what her daughter likes, whether she is happy or not, she doesn't understand and doesn't want to understand. Once her daughter is disobedient, she will use her emotions to blackmail "I am all for your good", "If it weren't for your pity, I would have divorced a long time ago". Children who are raised by such narcissistic parents are completely suppressed by their egos and only live for their parents. How can you have a healthy soul if you don't live your own children?In my clinic, there are many such parents who raise their children with self-righteous love. Parents feel that they have given a lot, and their children only feel control, anxiety, pressure, and neglect. Without love and warmth, children will become depressed, autistic, and unable to find the meaning and joy of life. 
Conflict-type parents, children are anxious and blame-blamingThere are studies that show thatIn families where couples often quarrel, the detection rate of psychological problems in children is 32%. 30 per cent of divorced families and 19 per cent of harmonious families. In other words, the tension between parents has a greater impact on children than divorce. Teacher B station @ Che Stick shared her experience in the first year of teaching. A little boy in the class suddenly had an emotional outburst and wanted to commit suicide in front of her. She tried her best to drag the little boy down the staircase. In the process, the little boy kept resisting:
"Teacher, don't stop me, you let me die, after I die, the whole family will be clean. My parents will never fight because of me again, and the problem will be solved when I die. ”
In the end, with the comfort of the teacher, his emotions calmed down. Parents quarrel, and children can easily become victims. In particular, some parents force their children to stand in line and pour their emotions on their children. Children who are forced to be "sandwiched" in it will unconsciously become"Scapegoat".。They play the role of weak, troubled children to deflect the conflicts between their parents and bridge family relationships. I saw a girl. 13 years old, well-behaved and sensible, with excellent grades, teachers and classmates like her very much. One day, suddenly it was like a different person. Sleeping in class, confronting teachers, stealing classmates' things, and deliberately injuring themselves. Her parents thought she was rebellious in adolescence and asked me for advice. Through in-depth counseling, it was found that the problem was not with the child, but with the family. This girl overheard her parents talking about divorce. She was scared and didn't know what to do, so she created problems to attract her parents' attention. In this way, the parents can put aside the conflict for a while and deal with her problems together. If parents are not aware of this, it is easy to cause anxiety and depression in their children. 
It has been said that in homeschooling, the best gift for a child should be——
The first caregiver has a stable mood, and the second is a happy marriage for the parents. If parents do not break down, children's emotions can flow healthily. When the parents' marriage is happy, the children's hearts will be wrapped in warmth. Many parents understand that in the actual parenting process, they can't control themselves. The premise of change is to take the initiative to learn Xi. For example, if you understand psychology, you can be more aware of your emotional state. Know how negative emotions arise, see your own problems, and avoid transferring anxiety and stress to your children. Through psychological therapy, you can also learn to communicate with your partner correctly and improve the happiness of your intimate relationship. The essence of education is the self-cultivation of parents. Change starts from the self-awareness of parents, and the premise of seeing children is to see themselves.