First, don't deliberately please others
I really suggest that you don't please anyone, and that you will be credited to any bad relationship.
By gaining favor by pleasing others, you are likely to lose your entire life.
You can be nice to people, but you can't be flattering;You can be enthusiastic, but not courteous;You can be kind, but with a sharp edge.
Habitual flattery for a long time will make others take everything for granted.
Over time, no one will remember you as good, they will only think that you are too kind and easy to bully, and when one day you feel physically and mentally exhausted and unable to fulfill other people's requests, others will get angry and reprimand you for being unkind.
Yan Geling said, I found that after a person gives up the burden of leaving a good impression on others, his heart will be so down-to-earth, he no longer has to be likable, and he can stop being affected like me at the moment.
Second, we must know how to shut up at the right time
As the saying goes, learn to speak in two years, and learn to shut up in a lifetime.
The position is different, less words are precious, the understanding is not equal and there is no dispute, the three views are not in agreement, the tongue is wasted, and the Tao is different and does not conspire with each other.
In the past, I thought that being unreserved to others was sincerity, that being straightforward and quick was true temperament, and that being outspoken was honest.
Over the years, after stepping on those pits that I can't regret, I have learned that knowing how to "shut up" is also an ability.
Others haven't finished speaking, shut up;Shut up and don't talk about your privacyShut up and give less guidance to other people's lives;When you disagree with others, shut up and keep silentWhen a person is soft-spoken, shut up;When bad emotions prevail, shut up.
Learning to shut up does not mean ignoring it, not disagreeing with it and showing weakness, but living soberly.
Don't say what you shouldn't say, be cautious about what you should say, and don't talk nonsense if you don't understand.
Three, there is no emotion for bad things
Feng Zikai said that since there is nowhere to escape, it is better to be happy;Since there is no pure land, it is better to have a pure heart;Since it didn't get its wish, it's better to be relieved.
Whether you are wronged or under a lot of pressure, don't go around looking for people to complain, no one will really feel sorry for you, calm down and do what you have to do, your heart can be broken and you can't stop.
If you feel that it is not suitable, you will give up decisively, and you will hesitate or avoid it all the time, which is the long-term pain;There can be no lot of things, but there can be no hope, we must believe that there is a bright village, where there is hope, life will be endless.
Fourth, don't be convinced of everyone
Don't put your heart into your heart when you see anyone, Maugham pointed out sharply that a lot of care is just to find out how miserable you are.
Maugham said that there is only one reason to be manipulated, and that is that if you leak too much information to let people know what you "desire", he will use your weakness to make you afraid.
No matter how good the relationship is, no matter how familiar it is, don't easily put your heart into your heart and tell others everything, once the relationship breaks down, what you say may become someone else's handle and hit your weakness.
Therefore, the hole cards are shown, which is equivalent to handing over the initiative, allowing others to take control, people's hearts are fickle, feelings are fragile, and what you think is intimate may be insignificant in the eyes of others, and only by hiding it can it be unexpected.
Fifth, there is a bottom line of being a man
To be a man must have a bottom line, and only by guarding his bottom line can he be dignified and decent.
The bottom line is the confidence and hole cards of being a person, and it is the standard and foundation of a person.
To have a bottom line is to have principles, a gentleman does something and does not do something, knows how to make trade-offs, and knows how to advance and retreat so that he will not be swayed by others.
No matter how poor you are, you can't pit your friends;No matter how difficult it is, don't do things that violate your conscience;No matter how bitter it is, you can't play with the eyes of the heart;No matter how long it is, you can't forget your benefactor.
People with a bottom line will have good conduct and conscience. In this way, life can be smooth and the rest of your life can be stable.
Sixth, we must dare to refuse others
Rejection is one of the best means of self-pleasure for adults, and how much pain and entanglement is because they dare not refuse.
Don't want to borrow money, refuse, don't want to socialize, refuse, don't like the other person, refuse, the simpler and crisper the refusal, the better it is for both parties.
Seventh, don't be anxious
A lot of what makes you anxious and can't let go is not the matter itself, but your attitude and angle of looking at things, and in the end, what yours is the relief and pattern in your own heart.
And for the current gains and losses, the future is not sure is anxious, and the ruthless person has a clear goal, knows what he wants, how to fight for it, and does not consume time on internal friction.
Eighth, be very self-disciplined
True self-discipline is always prioritizing what matters most, no matter the time of day, no matter the weather.
Go to bed early and get up early to insist on fitness, milk tea, hot pot, beer, fried chicken, are not greedy, very clear that the body is the capital of the revolution, and always energetic.
Keep moving forward, keep learning, be fearless, invest in yourself regardless of the cost, don't care about the evaluation of others, withdraw all negative emotions, block all irrelevant people, you must make yourself valuable, plunder all the good things in the world, have a clear goal, and go all out to work for it.
Nine, don't care about some inconsequential things
Others are not selfless, nor are they saints, but transcend their own mediocrity, set their sights on what they approve of and love, and gain satisfaction and pleasure in doing things.
A truly ruthless person only pays attention to his present and future, doesn't care about the eyes and evaluations of others, doesn't worry about trivial things, and doesn't waste time on this, it doesn't matter.
10. Don't expect anything from others or others
Luo Xiang said, don't pin too much hope on individual people and things, otherwise people will be disappointed sooner or later, because the finite nature of people and things simply cannot bear our expectations of infinite hope.
If you have expectations, you will be disappointed, buy what you like, give what you want, don't build your happiness on the unstable external environment, you have no expectations, but there are surprises everywhere.
Eleven, do things decisively enough
The essence of human nature is that the more decisive you are, the more you do your own thing, and do it if you are not satisfied, the more people will appreciate you;The more honest, kind, and soft-hearted you are, the more people will bully you.
Therefore, we must be able to endure things, but we must be ruthless, decisive in killing, resolute and resolute, with the heart of the Buddha, and the art of the emperor.
Twelve, be good at waiting
The life creed of ruthless people is not that they are drunk today, they are all long-termists who can endure loneliness, and are willing to wait and endure for the sake of long-term interests.
Those who are good at waiting will survive the silent winter and usher in the February day when the grass grows and the warbler flies.
Thirteen, dare to turn your face
There is a saying that if kindness is not respected as it should be, then turning the face is the best way to deal with the relationship, and learning to turn the face is the sobriety of the world.
Because of blind forbearance, in exchange for not necessarily the same gratitude, sometimes it is an inch-inch-infested injury.
Kindness to the right person is gratitude, and to the wrong person is cold.
Only the strong can gain the respect of others, the strong will not swallow their anger, a trip to the world might as well live a little bold, should lift the table and lift the table, should tear the face and tear the face.
Fourteen, never delay
Shi Tiesheng said that the biggest disadvantage of procrastination is not delay, but that it will make oneself hesitate and even lose confidence.
Whatever you do, if you decide to do it, this in itself can make life exciting, and keep people in a mood of initiative and happiness.
The real ruthless person never delays, just do what he says, act immediately within 5 minutes, complete it first and then perfect, do not be a strongman in thought or a dwarf in action.
When you are alone, you are quiet and hearty, when you are two people, you are warm and down-to-earth, you live up to your heart when you love, you don't live up to the scenery on the roadside when you play, and you live up to the warm bed when you sleep.
When you are with people who encourage you to move forward, with interesting people, and with people with positive energy, you will slowly live into a beam of light.
Facing the sun, the corners of his mouth are raised, he doesn't envy anyone, he doesn't please anyone, he works hard quietly, and he lives as he likes.