Li Songwei Powerful people never solve problems, but jump out of problems

Before you know it, it's December.

Many people are working from home or listening to live classes this year.

At first, I thought I was finally living the life I dreamed of, but the reality was-"It's really inefficient!

It's still early to sleep a little longer, and the day has passed!

If you're not in the state, you can't read the book at all!

Cooking with the children and cleaning up the house, it is uncomfortable to see work!

What would you do if it were you?

Pomodoro?Make a plan?

Lower your expectations?

Most likely, it all worked.

When we are still in a familiar frameworkWhen solving problems, there areA person has long jumped out of the problem and seen another solution.

For example, when a person asks him about his holidays, he is always too lazy to move and is very sad. What to do if you have nothing to do for a day?

But he said, "Do nothing." During this period, many people stayed at home and did nothing, they were very depressed, and they were about to have problems.

You might be able to give them some guidance.

A college student dragged ** from summer to winter and asked him to treat it.

He asked, "Who asked for it?"

Student: Requested by the tutor.

He asked: What are the consequences of dragging it out?

Students: If you drag it out, it will affect your graduation.

He asked: Who cares more if graduation is postponed?

Student: Mentors care.

The person who solves the problem will think of many solutions, and this person, seeing the problem, does not solve the problem, but jumps out of the problem.

He will think: What is the benefit of procrastination?What can you do to keep procrastinating?

It's a fantastic stroke to step out of the box. It seems that the puzzle was solved without doing anything.

He has studied psychology for 15 years, is a Ph.D. from Peking University, a senior apprentice of Qian Mingyi, a master of psychology, and has taught ...... Tsinghua University

PsychologistWu ZhihongClaiming to be a fan of his, every time I talk to him, it's very rewarding.

Invited to the "Wonderful Conference", he said that psychology is useless, butGao Xiaosong, Cai KangyongBut they unanimously commented on him:

Masters, always useless, flying flowers and picking leaves, can hurt people.

He is, Li Songwei.

The recording site of "Wonderful Conference".

Problem: Sometimes it's not a problemWe have a colleague hh, whose daughter is in elementary school, and she is very slow in her homework, and she often has to accompany her until 10 o'clock in the evening. This is really a pain for countless parents. So, ** gave her a trick: you bring your work home, and when your daughter does her homework, you work overtime, and, pay attention, it's not that you accompany her to do your homework, but let her accompany you to work overtime, and the slower the homework, the better. hh did it in disbelief, thinking that her daughter was still as abrasive as before, but she didn't expect her daughter to say "Mom, I can't slow down." In the end, the assignment that usually takes 3 hours is reduced to 30 minutes.

At first glance, this method sounds too unreliable, but in fact, it is the [paradox intervention] in psychology that is used behind it. Don't take "slowness" as a problem, but turn "slowness" into a child's ability, so that the child can freely control and choose whether to slow down or not. Jumping out of the box of a problem is often accompanied by unexpected surprises.

Tear a hole in the unsolvable problemOne visitor, Linzi, returned from a vacation to California, USA, and remembered the refreshing sunshine and coast. Of course, even better than the environment was the culture, after all, it was a place with Hollywood, Silicon Valley, and Berkeley, and everyone she met lived freely and passionately. That's what people call life, and we can only call it life. In the consultation, she exclaimed. So are you going to live over there?*Ask. She immediately shook her head: How is that possible, just sigh casually. But why can't it be?* Always wary of the three words "impossible". Linzi also looked confused: It's just impossible. I live in Beijing and my work is in Beijing. Even if I want to resign, but my boyfriend's job is still in Beijing, he still has options in his hand, and he has realized it after five years, which is not enough, and the threshold for investment immigration is very high now. It's better to apply for a graduate school to be realistic... Actually, it is also reasonable, and it is given to no one who will immigrate because of a trip, becauseFeelNo way. Since it's impossible, just sigh casually, no one will delve into it. Didn't try to convince her, didn't give her advice, just asked her a question: You don't have to really try anything, just do an experiment in your head: If you do live in sunny California in 10 years, think about what you might have experienced in those 10 yearsShe laughed, laughing and shaking her head: "Impossible. Thoughtfully. Two years after the end of the consultation, Linzi sent a letter: her boyfriend was recently considering joining a startup project in Silicon Valley. She also applied to a correspondence course at a university in California while working and is trying to keep up. If all goes well, there is hope for a transition to full students in the future. She said, "Can you believe it?"I'm so close to the life I want!As the 6-word mantra shared by ***: Ideas are just ideas. Have you ever had this kind of experience, crossing a high-altitude rope bridge, you think "no, I can't, I can't pass", while walking with your eyes closed. No, it's not possible, it's just an idea, a voice in your head. When you hear this voice, you have two choices: believe the voice and don't go over;Or ignore it, take a step forward, move another ......Suddenly look up, you're already on the other side.

What seems to be an unreliable approach is often the most reliableA user Kunkun left a message for ***: I have enrolled my child in various interest classes, and none of them can last for more than a year. After each audition, ask if you like the lesson. They all said they liked it, and I said: This is your own choice, you must stick to it. As a result, I learned to paint, and after half a year of study, I said that it was boring, and I learned a musical instrument, and within a few months of buying it, I refused to practice the piano. Learning to dance and pressing the leg felt painful again. How can I make my child enthusiastic about learning Xi?**Didn't directly answer how to make the child enthusiastic. However, he did answer the opposite question:How to ruin a child's enthusiasm?」Let's take the example of learning to play the piano. Let's assume that a child is passionate about playing the piano and always enjoys playing it. What can be done to destroy this enthusiasm?

1. When the child first comes into contact with the piano, say to him: You must insist on playing the piano you choose. 」

2. Require the child to play once a day.

3. When I found that the child played the piano, I was overjoyed: Yes!The piano should be played consciously. 」

4. Fixed-point urging: It's time to play the piano, hurry up!」

5. After the child does not want to play the piano, criticize him for not having enthusiasm for things or lacking perseverance.

The solutions he gives are always unexpected. A mother asked him: What should I do if my child is a picky eater, and he suggested that the mother and the child be picky eaters together. After the mother did it in disbelief, the child was really not a picky eater. An office worker asked him: What should I do if I always procrastinate, play a day during the day, work overtime at night, and have very poor efficiency?Ask her to break one of her jobs into 10 pieces and find the one she least wants to do at the top of her to do list. Under the pressure of this devil's task, she did not delay at all and unknowingly accomplished a lot. A friend complained to him that his younger brother was ignorant, dropped out of school, changed jobs in 2 months, and borrowed money to buy a car if he had no money, and the relationship between the two was once extremely stiff;**Give her a question: Name 3 advantages of your brother. She was stunned for a moment: her younger brother was the sales champion, he always bought things for his parents, and although he bought a car, he paid off the loan on his own... As soon as the perspective changed, the relationship between the two began to loosen. These seemingly mysterious methods actually have rules to follow. When we look at problems, we often fall into our own habitual thinking, and he can resist the inertia of thinking and try to get out of the framework of the problem. He is good at solving problems, and even better at deconstructing problems, and explaining the thinking rules behind the methods in easy-to-understand language. A little over a year ago, he decided to systematically summarize his way of thinking, and I had the privilege of working with him as the product manager of this course. I still remember that many colleagues at that time were full of uncertainty about this topic, but he said firmly:I wanted to do a different class. I also remember countless times working overtime until late at night, scratching the top of my head to polish the content, and when it was finally finished, he jumped and said to me: Xiaobao, I have finally finished writing, I can relax!But I want to say: **You are relaxed, but the great change in my life has just begun!Now, this course has been online for a whole year, as many course reviews say:

After listening to this class, there is a feeling of great internal strength in general. It's not that I get specific skills, but I answer a lot of whys, which makes people suddenly understand. Prepare to watch it again and again!

In the process of listening, I burst into tears several times, feeling as if I had walked alone in the desert for a long time, and finally saw the figure of a companion in front of me, waving to me from afar, reluctant and grateful.

Now you are standing in front of this door, welcome to the larger world.

Our long-standing thoughts, feelings, and long-standing problems will one day be broken by someone.

This person is Li Songwei. Welcome to the brain of Li SongweiAt the same time, be cautious, because what you are about to open is the door to a new world.

Statement**: Friends of the heart teacher, invaded and deleted