Two days ago, a parent sent me a private message saying that she had a strained relationship with her 14-year-old daughter and that whenever she tried to communicate with her, it would end in an argument.
The daughter is in adolescence, often has mood swings and reacts violently, and even sometimes, when the mother just knocks lightly on the door, the daughter will angrily shout "Don't disturb me!".The mother was extremely confused and frustrated, and she missed the little girl who loved to laugh, be close and easy to communicate with when her daughter was a child.
After an in-depth conversation with the mother, I realized that the core of the problem was not simply her daughter's rebellion, but the psychological and physical changes brought about by adolescence, and the parents' lack of understanding and adaptation to these changes.
A daughter's rebellion, mood swings, and extreme sensitivity to privacy are all normal signs of adolescence, but for many parents, these changes are often unexpected and even difficult to accept.
This case brings us to the topic we are going to discuss today:"Compete with children, winning is the biggest loss" In the adolescent period of children, parents must learn to be soft
In the face of adolescent children, how can parents adapt to the changes of their children, and how can they help their children grow up healthily while maintaining family harmony?In the following article, I will delve into this topic.
Adolescence is a special and complex stage in everyone's growth process, it is like a metamorphosis in children's lives, from childhood to adulthood.
However, the process is not always smooth, and as in the previously mentioned cases, the behavior of adolescent children often leaves parents feeling confused and powerless.
To better understand this process, let's delve into a few of the main psychological characteristics of adolescent children.
First of all,Rebellious
It's not for nothing, it's a process of finding self-identity.
During adolescence, children begin to form their own opinions and ideas, which may conflict with those of their parents, and this rebellion is actually a manifestation of the child's independence and is an important sign in their maturation process.
Secondly,Mood swings
Adolescents are experiencing rapid physical and emotional changes, often accompanied by emotional instability, they may be happy at one moment and frustrated or angry at the other, and these mood swings are a natural response to internal and external changes.
Again,A strong need for privacy
As children get older, they begin to value more personal space and privacy, which can manifest as a reluctance to share their inner thoughts with their parents, or a greater desire to have more control over their rooms and belongings, as part of building independence.
Finally,Aggressive behavior
It is an expression of inner conflict and frustration. As adolescents try to explore their identities while also trying to adapt to physical and emotional changes, this uncertainty and stress can sometimes manifest itself in aggressive ways.
These traits create challenges for parents.
Many parents may feel that they are doing something wrong, but in fact, the key is how to adapt to these changes in their children, and how to provide their children with the necessary guidance and support while maintaining respect and love.
Next, I will offer some specific advice to help parents better understand and support their adolescent children. I hope you will read it carefully.
Parents need to adopt a more understanding and supportive attitude when facing the challenges of their adolescent child, and here are some specific suggestions that can help parents better communicate and get along with their adolescent child.
Listen and understand:
When a child expresses their own opinions and emotions, parents should listen and try to understand, even if they do not agree with their child's point of view, respect their feelings and right to express themselves, this listening and understanding can help the child feel valued and understood.
Provide emotional support:
Parents should stay calm, provide emotional support rather than criticism when their child is emotionally volatile, understand that mood swings are a normal part of adolescence, and help children learn to recognize and manage their emotions.
Respect for privacy and independence:
As the child grows up, parents should gradually let go and respect the child's privacy and independence. For example, do not enter your child's room without permission and respect your child's personal space and decisions.
Building bridges of trust and communication:
Encourage open and honest communication, build a relationship of trust, and let children know that they can communicate with their parents on any issue without fear of criticism or denial.
Positive Bootstrapping and Boundary Setting:
Parents should give their children appropriate guidance on the basis of understanding and respect, and at the same time, they also need to clarify reasonable boundaries and rules, such as the basic rules and expectations of the family.
Self-reflection and growth of parents:
Parents should also reflect on their own behaviour and emotional responses. Sometimes a parent's reaction may stem from their own unresolved issues or past experiences, and if necessary, seek professional help to better understand and support the child.
Child's adaptation and growth:
Adolescent children are eager to be independent, but they do not fully have the ability to be independent, they hope to be away from their parents, but they need the support of their parents in all aspects, and they are always in contradictions, but they can't understand the root of the contradictions.
Recommend a set of books that are perfect for adolescent children"Adolescent Girl's Private Book" + "Adolescent Boy's Secret Book".
This set of books mainly solves 8 major problems faced by adolescent children:
The secrets of physical development, dealing with heterosexual relationships, confusion about sexuality, how to adjust your mentality, how to deal with academic Xi, how to deal with interpersonal relationships, how to achieve self-protection, how to deal with relationships with parents.
In the form of stories, the book collects a number of practical cases suitable for adolescent children, and interprets the main problems of adolescent children, so that children can understand the knowledge of adolescence and know how to deal with it when reading stories.
The book also explains in detail the physical and psychological development of each period of puberty, such as when a girl has her first menstrual period and what to pay attention toWhen do breasts start to develop, what kind of bra do you need to prepare, etc.;
When will the boy develop an Adam's apple, what kind of changes will occur in the throat, what will it feel like to lose sperm for the first time, what kind of preparation is needed, etc
In the face of feelings, what kind of mentality should boys and girls have, and how should they deal with heterosexual relationships that have a good impression of them;
In the face of the Internet, how to identify traps and useful knowledge, how to face the other party on the Internet, and how to deal with the relationship between netizens;
In addition to the above, the book also deeply analyzes the psychological and behavioral characteristics of adolescence from a psychological perspective, teaching children how to build a strong heart, how to increase their ability to resist setbacks, and how to face life and learning Xi with a better attitude.
"Adolescent Girl's Private Book" + "Adolescent Boy's Secret Book" This set of books is not only suitable for children, but also suitable for parents of adolescent children, teaching you how to grasp the psychology of adolescent children, how to determine the child's mentality dynamics through behavior, how to get along with children better, and help children go through adolescence smoothly.
I have an adolescent child at home, I highly recommend him to take a look, the link to the book "Adolescent Girl's Private Book" + "Adolescent Boy's Secret Book" I put it here, click to buy!
The role of parents becomes more complex and important when facing their adolescent children, which is not only a critical period for the child's development, but also an opportunity for parents to grow and learn Xi.
Understanding, patience and love are essential in this process, and by understanding the psychological characteristics of their adolescent child in depth, parents can better support their development while also strengthening the bond between family members.
This process can be challenging, but it is also extremely valuable, and it requires us as parents to not only be the guide and protector of our children, but also their partners and supporters along the way.
Finally, we should remember that every child is unique and their growth path will be different, therefore, as parents, we need to be flexible and open-minded in order to adapt our parenting style to the uniqueness of our children.
As parents, it is our task to guide them through this journey with love and wisdom to eventually reach maturity, in which "you lose when you compete with your child" and learn to "give in" – finding a balance between understanding and support – is the key to a harmonious family relationship.
Author: Wait for the wind to come.
A working mother of two children, holding a pen in her left hand and a baby in her right hand, she likes to read, write, and paint, and firmly believes that even if she lives in a chicken feather, she must have her own poetry and distance in her heart.
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