The visitor asked:
Adjusting to loneliness or trying to fit in?
I'm so lonely, but I don't talk much, I can't get into other people's conversations.
Beijing Heart Love Psychological Counselor answers:
You feel lonely because you don't feel safe and physical insideIt's hard to feel a self-consistent experience when you're alone;If you can't integrate into other people's chats, it's not because you don't have many words, it's because you can't find the sense of comfort in chatting with everyone, you can't experience the feeling of happiness or harmony between everyone in the chat, and you still don't have enough sense of security and substance in the relationship.
The lack within you cannot sustain such a choice.
When you feel like you can't make a choice, it's as if you're trapped, and this trapped state makes you experience a very powerless and helpless feeling, much like being in a state of floating or frozen, which may become the norm in your life, which can be called the norm of passive waiting.
It is difficult for you to make decisions for yourself, and when you need to make your own decisions, you will feel all kinds of difficulties, as if all kinds of external forces are restricting or restraining you.
All the choices that we are powerless to make stem from the lack or limitation of the inner motivation of life.
If you want to make your own choice, you first need to be able to clearly understand your true inner needs and explore the motivation for change from within yourself. Adapting to loneliness, or expanding interpersonal and social interactions, all need to be driven by intrinsic motivation.
Maybe you not only need to choose between adapting to loneliness and trying to be gregarious, but the important thing is that you can live out your true self first, to experience your own fresh vitality, and to live a life experience that can make decisions for yourself, just like the crowd still has its own sense of existence or comfortable experience even if it is silent.
Mr. Liu.