The speechless brother-in-law, in his 50s, still can't figure out the mysteries of life
My brother-in-law is a man I can't describe, he loves to brag, he likes to show off, he always behaves very high-profile, but he hasn't figured out what he wants in his 50s. I know it's not good to say bad things about my brother-in-law behind my back, but there are some things I can't help but complain about.
My brother-in-law is 54 years old this year, and although he only has a beginner's Chinese credentials, he has been in a chemical factory in Shanghai for nearly 30 years with his ability to flatter and flatter. Although he does not directly lead his subordinates, because he is good at building relationships with people, his salary is always much higher than that of ordinary employees. Over the years, the company has moved twice, and he has moved twice.
What he is best at is attending various banquets and making toasts to get closer to those who are good for him. As long as someone is willing to clink glasses with him, he will think that the other party has given him a lot of face, and no matter how much others drink, he will always drink more than the other person. He not only likes to toast at the wine table, but also deliberately understands the preferences of the other party, and even people who are not directly related to him can also be related through a clever speech. He made a lot of friends in this way, and it felt like he was known to everyone.
Although my brother-in-law is old, his health is worrying, and his blood sugar and blood pressure are high, he is still an expert at drinking hard as long as it comes to drinking. I privately persuaded my sister to let him drink less and care about his body, but my sister always looked helpless, because he often ate with the leader, and the leader would not give face if he drank less than one cup of him.
I know that many times, my brother-in-law's participation in the dinner party actually has nothing to do with him, and it is he who takes the initiative to get together and create opportunities to build relationships. He goes to great lengths to talk to all kinds of people, even people who have nothing to do with him, as long as the other party has a little power, he will try to get close, and then call him brother and brother in various ways, making people feel that he has a close relationship with the other party.
Every year at the end of the year and the beginning of the year, my brother-in-law is very busy, attending various dinners, giving gifts and visits, and socializing so much that he can't get out of it at all. Sometimes, it is necessary to catch up with the two families in one day, and if they bump into each other on a good day, he will even go to the two families separately, and he must be courteous. My sister and his wife have always been generous in terms of gifts, and the gift money has risen from 500 yuan to 1,000 yuan over the years, but afterwards they always cried poor in front of my father, saying that they would have to spend at least 20,000 yuan in the New Year, implying that my father needed to make up another 3,500 yuan.
My father is 75 years old this year and lives most of the time with us in Gangnam, only returning to his hometown during the Chinese New Year or when there are important family matters. In the past few years, because of the epidemic, we haven't even been able to go back for the New Year. My sister only gave my father 500 yuan a year, and she never bought anything for him, never spent a penny on my father, and every year during the Chinese New Year, my father had to send 200 yuan to each of my sister's two grandchildren, and my father showed my sister only 100 yuan in a year.
Another thing that made me feel uncomfortable was that a few years ago, in order to build a relationship, my brother-in-law actually went to befriend one of my brother-in-law's "godfathers" - the vice president of a branch of a state-owned bank in our county. took great pains to get close to his father, and was courteous, and finally became his father's godson, and became godbrothers with the vice president. My brother-in-law relishes the relationship and always gets along with the vice president and his brother in an incomprehensible and intimate way, as if he were part of the family. And I knew that my brother-in-law was only approaching the vice president through clever means for his own benefit.
Not long ago, this godfather died of a serious illness, and my brother-in-law actually kept filial piety for three days and three nights, behaving like his own son. My sister told me afterwards that this performance really convinced her, and she felt like she had eaten a fly. It's hard to understand how diligently my brother-in-law takes care of this relationship.
Since I had this godfather, my brother-in-law has boasted in front of me more than once, claiming that as long as he says a word, he can get it with as much money as he needs, and happily says that he doesn't have to pay interest. Once, when the real estate market was hot, my brother-in-law suggested that I go to this "godbrother" to borrow two or three million as a down payment, saying that he would definitely be able to handle it, and the interest should not be paid. Every now and then, I would question him: in that case, why didn't you go to him to solve your own problems first, but instead go out and ask for help, even involving relatives?Every time, he avoided answering, as if I was being vexatious.
The year before last, my nephew was embarrassed to ask my brother-in-law for money because he didn't work well, and he owed nearly 300,000 yuan through an online loan. When my brother-in-law learned about it, he waved his hand and asked my sister to borrow money from everywhere. In the end, I borrowed 50,000 yuan, my brother-in-law's sister borrowed 50,000 yuan, and other relatives scraped together some to barely fill the huge hole. I really want to ask my brother-in-law, why don't you go to your "godbrother"?Didn't you say he could solve it with a single word?Why embarrass so many relatives?
My brother-in-law is good at disguise, likes to pretend to be big, and always wants others to know how good he is. Expose his connections in front of his relatives and act as if he is the one who decides everything in his hometown. Every time I participate in a banquet, I always have to make myself the center of attention, pat my chest loudly, and let people solve problems directly with him, as if he is the number one in his hometown.
Once, when my uncle's family held a banquet, my brother-in-law was particularly prominent at the dinner table, and confidently agreed to help a relative solve the problem of not being able to apply for a real estate certificate for a small property right house. However, he kept being perfunctory afterwards, and finally his relatives found out that he had no intention of helping at all. My brother-in-law always likes to talk about this kind of thing, but in the end he can't deliver it, which makes people feel very uncomfortable.
In 2005, I was doing CNC machining in a Japanese-funded company in Kunshan, and the salary was not bad. However, due to the stress of my job, I decided to quit my job. I heard that my brother-in-law knew the owner of a machinery factory in Shanghai, and he often boasted about the high wages there, so he persuaded me to quit my job and go to Shanghai. My brother-in-law even helped me arrange my work without my consent.
When I arrived in Shanghai, I realized that my brother-in-law had just thrown me to a friend, and that he was not a boss but just a manager. Early the next morning, my brother-in-law dropped me off at a remote place and told me that this was where I was going to work. After my brother-in-law left, I found that the place was simply a small factory, and I was arranged in front of a CNC machine in a corner. The boss was just a middle-aged man who seemed enthusiastic and didn't know anything about me.
This experience made me disappointed in my brother-in-law's behavior, who didn't think about me at all, just to satisfy his desire to brag. He repeatedly exaggerated his connections and abilities, but failed to deliver on his promises at critical moments. This made me doubt his true character and felt that he was too hypocritical. I deeply feel that he is a person who likes to package himself well-looking, but is actually not reliable.
I took a look at their so-called CNC machine tools, I was really surprised, such a simple CNC machine tool, I still saw it for the first time, there was not even a cover, the turret can only install four knives, the tools used are actually welded cutter heads, the operator needs to sharpen the knife himself, those systems, buttons are even more confusing, at best it can only be regarded as an upgraded version of ordinary lathes, compared with those imported machine tools from Japan that I contacted before, it is simply 108,000 miles worse.
I can't see this machine tool at all, Lao Chen praised it like a flower when he introduced it, saying that this machine has high precision, convenient and fast operation, and high efficiency. But at present, this position is overcrowded, and when I have the opportunity in the future, I am advised to start with ordinary lathes.
Since I have been using a rack knife before, I will directly replace the blade when the tip of the knife is worn, and I really don't know anything about sharpening the knife by myself for the welding cutter head they use. When Lao Chen heard that I couldn't even sharpen a knife, there was an obvious look of disdain on his face, so he asked me to start as an apprentice first. I curiously asked about the monthly salary of the apprentice, and Lao Chen said that the apprentice only had a few hundred yuan a month, barely enough to maintain basic living expenses. After saying this, Lao Chen left in a hurry.
In fact, as soon as I entered this factory, I felt that it was not very formal, and the workers did not even have the most basic gloves, let alone goggles and labor protection shoes. The workpiece is thrown into the frame casually, and there is no one to manage it. What is even more unexpected is that workers need to cross the road to go to the toilet, and the door of the toilet is often locked, not open to the public, internal employees need to carry the key with them, and remember to lock the door after going to the toilet.
After Lao Chen left, a worker came to me and asked me what I did before and what my monthly salary was. When I told me about my salary in Kunshan, the reaction of these people was: "Oh my God, it's a little strange that you quit your job from such a good company and come to work with us!""I asked the workers how much they could earn a month and if they enjoyed five insurances and one housing fund, and they looked at me like aliens. I understand that my question is obviously too redundant, for an enterprise that does not even have an attendance system, how can it be possible to pay five insurances and one housing fund to employees?
I was waiting outside the factory that day for my brother-in-law to pick me up from work, and when he asked me about my situation in the factory after work, I told him directly that I didn't want to continue working. My brother-in-law said that he had mentioned it to Lao Chen several times before, and he reluctantly agreed, and it was not so easy to enter this factory, so he advised me to cherish the opportunity and wait until I became proficient. I didn't answer his words, and asked him directly if he could arrange a job for my wife, but my brother-in-law was hesitant and didn't answer my question directly. I learned that he was simply unreliable.
After returning to Kunshan, in order to save face for my brother-in-law, I did not tell my wife the truth about the factory in Shanghai. However, a few days later, I learned through ** that my sister talked about me in front of my parents, and actually said that I had been working outside for so many years, and I couldn't even sharpen a knife, and my skills were really rotten!
I know that my brother-in-law belittled me like this in front of my parents through my sister just to make excuses for himself, for fear that I would belittle him among my relatives. I didn't explain to my mother what my brother-in-law said I was, and talking too much would only affect my own mood.
I don't know how many times my brother-in-law has done something like this. When I was young, in order to make myself appear more face-saving, I expected others to look up to me, and I can still understand it. But now, my brother-in-law is in his fifties, and he still maintains such a way of dealing with the world, which really makes it difficult for me to identify with him. Obviously, what he said before, but afterwards he flatly denied it and pretended to be confused, which really made people feel extremely unreliable.
Now, my relatives in my family know that my brother-in-law loves to brag, and that he often speaks with moisture, and most of the time he listens to him. It's a pity that my brother-in-law himself is not self-aware, and still likes to talk about it in crowded situations. Perhaps this character of his is deeply ingrained and will not change in this life. Then let him take care of himself, expose him not to his face, and watch him perform quietly, after all, he is still my brother-in-law.