As the saying goes, marriage is a turning point in life, a new chapter in life, and it can determine a woman's happiness or unhappiness. A good marriage is like a flower in the sun, blooming and brilliant;Bad marriages are like grass in the haze, bleak and discolored.
Our marriage seemed to be predestined and deeply influenced by our family. How many people unconsciously follow the old path of their parents and repeat the same emotional script;
Few people can completely get out of the shadow of their family and find happiness according to their true wishes and choices. This is not an accident, but a universal phenomenon that touches the lives of each and every one of us.
1. The marriage script of a woman and a mother.
If you look closely at the women around you, you will find that many of them are married to their mothers.
We who didn't understand our mother's marriage even ridiculed, but we never thought that we had actually stepped into the same track. In his married life, not only did he repeat the tragedy of his mother, but it was even more difficult in some ways.
Growing up with his mother's nurturing company, he witnessed his mother's silence and patience. Did he, who had tried to persuade his mother to leave her unhappy marriage, never thought that she would eventually repeat the same mistakes?
In order not to repeat history, in front of our daughters, we show a more independent and happy role model. When we show independence and self-confidence, they will also learn how to find true happiness.
2. The influence of fathers and the choice of daughters.
Fathers play an equally crucial role in their daughters' upbringing. He is not only a window for his daughter to understand the outside world, but also the first face-to-face image shaping experience of the male world.
A responsible, loving father will develop a positive view of men and good partner expectations in his daughters
On the contrary, if the father behaves inappropriately and lacks love and respect for the family, the daughter may repeat this pattern when choosing a partner, or even subconsciously look for the shadow of the father.
Therefore, the image of the father often becomes the blueprint for the daughter to choose a partner. The daughters are unintentionally looking for the shadow of their father, whether it is the embodiment of love and care, or the recurrence of neglect and absence. This deep psychological imprint invisibly shapes their expectations and choices for their future partners.
A father's behavior not only influences his daughter, but also indirectly shapes the family model of the future. The figure of the father, whether happy or painful, positive or negative, is deeply ingrained in the hearts of daughters and becomes a criterion that cannot be ignored when choosing a partner.
Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, "Men are created by their mothers" and that mothers have a decisive influence on the character of their sons.
But the daughter is not like this, as a father who began to establish a male image in the immature age, it has also become the epitome of the daughter's projection to her other half in the future.
3. Only self-consciousness can change fate.
Although the environment in which we grew up had a profound influence on us, we can still change our destiny through self-awareness.
We can't choose our family of origin, we can't choose our parents, but we have the ability and right to change ourselves and choose our own life. Only by truly recognizing the boundaries between oneself and one's family of origin can one begin to live a truly independent life. It's not just physical independence, it's mental and emotional independence. Learn to free yourself from the influence of your family of origin and find your true self.
When we are able to do this, we will be able to love more freely and happily, to build and maintain our relationships. and be able to learn how to find fulfillment and happiness in a partnership.
The influence of the family of origin should not be an excuse for not pursuing a better life, change does not happen overnight, it takes time, patience and effort. But as long as you are willing to start this process, it is possible to change your destiny and move towards a happier and more fulfilling life. Each of us has the opportunity to be different from our parents and forge a path that is unique to us. So the key to changing your fate is still your own choice, in fact, the initiative has always been in your hands!