That year, I worked in the school cafeteria and saw the gray life of a female college student
In 2000, I entered Wuhan University, but my family's poverty put me in a difficult situation. In front of everyone's eyes, I had to untie my belt in public when I registered, take out the change that my family had worked hard to accumulate, and count it one by one to the charging teacher.
The onlookers looked at them with surprise, sympathy, and contempt. A teacher who cared about me saw my embarrassment, took the initiative to ask about my situation, and offered to introduce me to work in the school cafeteria to earn some basic living expenses.
You can go to the cafeteria to help cook"The teacher advised"In this way, you will not only earn a salary, but also reduce your food expenses and enjoy relatively good meals. This should be what you need most at the moment. You look too thin, obviously undernourished, and eating more is good for you. When your stomach is full, you will be in a good mood. "After the teacher finished speaking, he patted my thin shoulder.
I was moved to tears by this care. There are some things that others may not understand, but I know how hard it can be. 
For many years, I was hungry and hungry. I can hardly find the moment when I am full in my memory, except for the meal of the Spring Festival every year.
It was only then that I realized how important it is to be well fed. Therefore, I took classes seriously every day and went to work in the canteen kitchen after class. Not only is this income enough to pay for my college meals, but I also have some surplus to buy daily necessities such as laundry detergent and toothpaste.
During my days of working in the cafeteria, another girl was added, and she also became a member of the cook. This girl, Zhou Hongmei, is obviously a child from the countryside. She had thick braids on her head, her face was a little tanned, she was dressed in shabby little floral clothes, and she blushed with shyness when she spoke.
Over time, I learned that Zhou Hongmei was a student of the Chinese department, coming from a mountainous area that was more remote and remote than my hometown. She relied on the financial support of a wealthy man in the city to complete high school. Without the financial support of that rich man, her family conditions would have allowed her to finish primary school.
Her family was very poor, and her parents even hoped that the rich man would help her brother, but unfortunately, the rich man was only willing to sponsor the girls.
Talking about the rich man, I sensed that she was not very grateful, but had some resentment. When asked if the person continued to sponsor her during college, she lowered her head, bit her lip, and whispered, "No, there is no free lunch in the world, and I'm afraid I can't afford it." ”
I was amazed by her answer. I understand that poor children like us have such a strong sense of self-esteem that we don't want to be mentioned in those hard days of the past.
With the arrival of Hongmei, I finally found a friend to talk to, and our experiences were so similar, elementary school, junior high school, high school, almost identical.
During the exchange, we were surprised to find that when we were in junior high school, we all walked dozens of miles of mountain roads in the early hours of the morningAnd when I was in high school, I brought a bag of rice and a box of pickles every week, and tasted the same dishes day after day, and after three whole years, Hongmei had the same fate.
Whenever we talked about the past, the canteen chefs always listened to us quietly, without interjecting, only occasionally sighing, and then quietly adding a few pieces of meat to our bowl while we were eating.
One weekend, I wanted to invite Hongmei to go for a walk in East Lake, but she was embarrassed and told me that she was tutoring outside of school on Saturdays and Sundays. Her family barely provided for living expenses and could only earn money through hard work. Otherwise, she would starve and might not be able to go on to college.
Hongmei suggested that I could also sign up with the school's tutoring agency, and they would help connect with the students. Today's parents are more inclined to find a new class of college students to tutor, because the test questions and methods are relatively close and easier to understand.
She said that the cost of tutoring is higher than that of a part-time job in a canteen, and that the schedule is on weekends, which does not interfere with classes or prevent the school from working.
Inspired by Hongmei, I paid 30 yuan to the agent and soon found a job as a tutor.
In the blink of an eye, the winter vacation came, and the students left the school one after another, and the campus became deserted. The cafeteria was also closed for the holidays, so I decided not to go home and continue to work as a tutor, earning money was more important to me than everything.
I feel happy and satisfied with this decision to stay in school for the Chinese New Year. Although my classmates left and the school was deserted, I didn't feel lonely, because Hongmei also chose to stay and become a tutor like me.
On Chinese New Year's Eve, we sat together and chatted, laughing constantly. I said, I think it's more enjoyable to spend the New Year here than at home. Hongmei blushed shyly and said that she felt the same way.
That night, I escorted Hongmei to the door of her dormitory, and then went back to my dormitory alone.
This is the first time I have spent the Chinese New Year outside, and I had no idea that the Spring Festival in the city could be so cheerful and lively.
It wasn't until the wee hours of the morning that I fell asleep. That night, the scene in my dream was gorgeous and colorful, and it was a beautiful dream that I had never had in my life.
Throughout the winter break, I realized how important the school cafeteria is to me.
Once you leave the cafeteria, the cost of three meals a day is too large. Even though I've opted for as cheap food as possible, I'm still spending too much on food than usual.
On the second day of junior high school, I invited Hongmei to go to the Yellow Crane Tower, a place I hadn't set foot in Wuhan for half a year.
Early in the morning, we took a bus to the Yellow Crane Tower, and the tickets for the two of us cost two yuan, which made me feel a little heartbroken.
When I stood at the ticket office of the Yellow Crane Tower, I found that the tickets were actually dozens of yuan.
I was dumbfounded, and Hongmei was also surprised. We all know that life is not easy. When I hesitated, the people behind me began to urge, and an impatient voice came from the ticket window: "Do you want to buy it or not?"”
Hongmei pulled me out and said resolutely, "Don't buy this ticket!."I don't look at it. Don't want to see it. ”
I still hesitated, feeling that it was a bit of a shame to retreat at this moment, and to lose the dignity of a man.
Hongmei persuaded: "You don't need to be reluctant for the sake of face. Vanity is not important. Let's face up to reality. This building has been here for thousands of years and will not disappear in the future. It's the same when you have the money. ”
I knew she had a point, but looking at her determined gaze, I felt a little guilty. I stubbornly said, "I brought the money, and it's okay to spend it and earn it again." In my heart, I also hope that Hongmei can insist on not watching.
Sure enough, Hongmei said firmly: "Don't look at it. Let's go, go to see the Yangtze River Bridge, you don't need money to see the bridge. ”
So, that day we only walked on the Yangtze River Bridge. I felt uncomfortable, so I insisted on inviting Hongmei to dinner at noon. We found a small restaurant at the foot of Turtle Mountain and had a simple meal.
Hongmei said: "Spend your own money, just eat simpler." When school starts and we get back to the cafeteria, let's have another big meal. ”
I was touched by her concern, but at the same time a little frustrated, and I knew I was being looked down upon.
Even though the lunch cost me nearly eighty dollars, almost what I could earn for two classes, I also understood that it was a meaningless spent.
After that, Hongmei seemed to have lost her previous intimacy with me. Even though we still laugh, that real feeling disappeared between us.
I felt a little sad, but I didn't know how to bridge the distance. I tried to get closer to her more naturally, and Hongmei behaved more naturally towards my contact.
We all understand that we will never be able to get along as naturally as we used to.
One day during dinner, Hongmei suddenly decided not to eat in the cafeteria, saying that she was going out because a friend had a treat.
I saw a shiny white car parked outside the cafeteria. Hongmei walked lightly towards the car, and a middle-aged man in his forties got out of the car, stepped forward and opened the door.
Hongmei stepped into the car without hesitation. The car horn sounded, as if to say goodbye to me, and then left my sight in a smooth curve.
The dust rising from the rear of the car was like a hand that instantly grabbed my heart. The farther the car went, the tighter that hand seemed to become, and I couldn't breathe for a long time.
I know that Hongmei wants to change her fate, and someone is willing to help her achieve this change, how can she not accept it?
The next day, Hongmei quit her job at the cafeteria. She said her friends didn't want her to work too hard. I looked at her, her face flushed, and she pulled me aside and said, "I know your heart, but some things can't be done." We're all together, we can't help each other, we're all too poor. Separation may lead to our own happiness, and perhaps our lives will change. ”
I don't know anything about each other's happiness, and I don't want to know about it. I hypocritically uttered a few words of blessing and departed.
I don't feel too sad. Maybe it's because I haven't had time to fall in love with Hongmei, or maybe I'm in love with her while knowing that it's not easy to get her love. More likely, I realized that my life urgently needed to solve the problem of basic food and clothing.
Since then, I haven't seen Hongmei again, and the strange thing is that even though she is in the same school, she seems to have disappeared.
Now, more than 20 years later, when I occasionally pass by Wuhan, I inexplicably recall the days when I worked in the canteen, and I also think of Hongmei. In middle age, I slowly understood her original choice, and I also deeply understood the difficulty of life.
May she live happily and peacefully, after all, we have all endured such poverty and struggle together.